It would seem that here is difficult in determining whether the partner controls you is that it is constantly swears, aggressive, always threatens or puts ultimatum. Everyone seems to be a kind of grumpy hooligan, who detects and orders. Although this may well be, there are additional signs that can manifest themselves quite differently.
If you feel that the partner can control you, it is important to determine the signs of this right now. It does not matter, it is Narcissus, sociopath or simply thirsting for the power of the leech, who wants to compensate for their own sense of inadequacy, controlling another person, communication with such a partner can be very dangerous, so it is necessary to put an end to this as soon as possible. So, how to understand what controls you.1. Partner has problems with confidence
In the study of the steam, who survived a serious conflict, those who felt less protected in their relationship came across a large number of conflicts with their partners and reported a trend towards a serious escalation of these conflicts. At the same time, the partner could at the slightest dispute to "inflate from the fly of an elephant."
If you did not give your partner a reason for mistrust to you, but at the same time noticed that he watches you or cheeking checks your phone or computer when you do not look, it's bad.
He can make assumptions about who you spend time and blame you in infidelity, even if there is no reason for suspicion. The only way for such a person feel comfortable, it is always to know what you are doing.
Do not allow your partner to control your actions. Healthy relationships are based on trust and honesty. If you or your partner find it difficult to trust each other, relationships may not withstand.
2. It is too critical in relation to you
The partner not only wants to control where you go and what you do in your free time, he wants to "blind" from you a person in his taste who will do what he wants.One way to do this is to constantly criticize you: the clothes you wear, hairstyle, how you are standing, sit, talk that you are looking, doing in your free time, with friends, at work, etc. These critical comments They can begin with the little things, but they will quickly turn into avalanche of criticism if you give way to them.
The worst thing is that a person trying to control you usually leads pretty weighty arguments, so the criticism seems very convincing.
Ultimately, you need to be more confident. It is self-confidence that are crucial to dealing with a partner trying to control you and defend against it.
3. Disguised threats
Some people suggest that threats should be physical in order to be problematic. But the threats of the breaking of relationships, the limitations of the "privileges" or even threat to hurt themselves may be as affected by a person as the threat of physical violence. The one who is controlled often feels "stuck in relationships" not because of fear for himself, and the fear of what his partner will commit suicide will cause himself harm or quit.
In other cases, a person may threaten the loss of financial assets, at home or even children if he leaves his partner controlling it (or will be thrown). Regardless of whether these threats are genuine, for the "controller" is just another way to get what he wants, at the expense of his partner.
4. Hyperactive assessment
This refers to the practice of recording every minor interaction in the relationship, and this is one of the most stringent forms of control.In any way, there is a constant exchange of services. In the end, the couple should love each other and all the time do small "favor" to each other, for example, to carry out the garbage, wash the dishes after dinner, collect lunch to work for a partner and so on.
However, a hyperactive assessment allows the controlling partner to ensure that you "must". But when "home tyrant" celebrates every minor act, you can be sure that he is trying to manipulate you, creating the impression as if he makes you more than you for him.
5. He is trying to remove you from your loved ones
The best way to fully control your partner is to isolate it from your loved ones. This is one of the most dangerous signs that demonstrates a high degree of manipulation.
Regardless of your situation, never let someone isolate you from your friends or family. Close people give us strength and offer support, and their loss can lead to real problems, especially if you deal with those who are trying to manipulate you.
The caring partner will fully accept your family and friends, and if he does not do this, then it is worth thinking - whether such relationships are needed.
What can be done if you really control
1. Keep your close next
When you are dealing with potentially toxic and manipulating people, you need to stay as close as possible to those who do care about you.2. Keep yourself
It is necessary to make a plan for daily care, whether in the form of exercise, reading a good book, meditation and even therapy.
3. You need a plan
If you decide to break the relationship, the plan is useful. Be sure to consider everything a few steps forward, because the partner probably there is a bunch of tricks to keep you nearby.4. Treat the situation seriously and not risk aggravation
A partner who wants to control every step, especially with sociopathic or narcissistic trends, can become dangerous if he is removed from himself far enough, even if he has never been seen in violence before. Do not roll your eyes and think that all this can not happen to you. Need to take seriously to the situation and do everything possible to protect yourself.
5. Do not be afraid to seek help closest to you
The controlled person is strong only when he isolates you from around the world.
Need not to forget to take care of yourself daily and surround yourself by people who love you.