Gaslighting is a slow and painful form of manipulation by another person. This is a kind of psychological violence, in which a person is trying to make doubt their adequacy and begin to feel "defective". With properly selected words "poison" gradually penetrates into a person's mind and eats any likeness of self-esteem and happiness. And what's worse than just, at the same time the victim does not even understand what is happening until it becomes too late.
And now attention - this often happens ... right at home, and from the side of your beloved person, who essentially holds a partner hostage with a similar tactical method. So, how does Gazlating really look like and what makes the victim to believe in the reality of even the most impartial words.1. "You are lucky that you have someone at all, because no one else wants you"
How to keep someone on a "short leash." It is necessary to deceive it, forcing it to believe that the leash is the best place for him. The same is true for the manipulator master; Such people hold partners near, blinding them with the possibility that everything will ever be different. The key is that the victim is forced to believe that such a machinator is her salvation, which she will quickly die of loneliness without him.
2. "It's all only in your head"
Mind games designed to convince man that he is crazy, very often found in such situations. True gazing gaslights will create an illusion that even the primary five feelings can not be trusted that the eyes and ears completely summarize. However, the reality is that you need to trust yourself, because not everything happens only "in my head."3. "It is not surprising that you have few friends ... It's hard for you to love"
You need to remember the following: There are no people who are "hard to love," some people just like to love themselves, because they do not know what it means.
Masters-manipulators know how to "twist" everything so that the sacrificial self-esteem will change. One obvious sign that the Gaslight works is how they are shifting and trying to shake their goal. They are ready to "deal with someone, despite all (non-existent) shortcomings of its character." Extremely experienced gaslights go even further, convincing others that his victim is really "crazy" or "problem".
4. "In everything that is wrong, you are guilty"
It can really grow into a serious problem. As with any other tactics, everything begins with, it would seem smallest things. In the end, this lie may reach extremes, for example, when a person accuses a partner in his own problems, predensions and self-destruction. As a result, the victim lives with a constant feeling of shame and accuses himself literally in everything that happens in the world around her.5. "I just joked why you perceive so seriously"
Any manipulators of another person love to bring it to a breakdown. After that, they innocently claim that it was just a joke, and how it could be perceived seriously. " It not only makes believing that the partner is not toxic, but also leads to what you start to feel guilty because you are "too sensitive."
6. "I never said it"
Gaslights are constantly trying to confuse their victim. They will argue that things happened not as the victim perceived them, or, and at all never happened. Over time, it is unwanted to doubt your own thoughts and feelings or even wondering if you are not going crazy.7. "You know, you are really not particularly good in ..."
Each person has natural talents and skills that he proud. So, the goal of the Gasladir is to deprive the victim of any reason to love himself. It will begin slowly, systematically destroy self-confidence and self-esteem, presenting any claims to the victim and its talents. At best, it will undermine the self-esteem, and at worst - you will start to believe that "so bad that fully depends on the machinator, be it emotionally or even financially."
The reality is that many in one or another turn out to be trapped these, it would seem hopeless situations. What is even worse, it is almost impossible to detect a gaslacer, and in the end, many are in captivity of such toxic relations for years or even for life.