Dear girls! On behalf of and on behalf of thousands of thousands of men living in our country, I appeal to you with a sincere request. We ourselves are not local, spending whole days at work, then Bohaham, then suddenly opa - holidays! And you have to go to the store.
Girls! We love you very much, honestly. And we give money. And you will take it in there, and from there you will take it down. But please, please, please never take us with you in this feature of Auchan (subway, Zelgros, etc.). Especially in pre-holiday days. We do not take you to the construction? It is better to punish us somehow differently. Leave us without a festive dinner, for example. We are normal meat themselves, and you will buy vodka in the nearest sulfas, we will easily manage without olivier, bay, chill, well done, cutting and fur coats. And if you yourself can not without this chorth coat, then yourself and go for your stupid herring. Or we even go for her, only so that this, the Lord, not turned into a joint leisure. No seriously. We have already walked many times with you to the store, and we do not understand how you do it and why. A man goes to the grocery strictly in a certain way. The list is drawn up, the goods are grouped by category. Further in the deck department, cereals are purchased, in meat - meat, in oil - butter, it is lost ten minutes on a wine department, because there must be melected above each bottle, and all, cash, success. Girls do it wrong. Girls necessarily need a company - advice, support, boy for beating, target for constant "You do not understand me!". Sometimes it seems that the girls go to the store are not at all for the products, but simply to make you bad.ArtPook preparation
The hike to the store has anticipation and planning. A man knows in advance that it will be publicly tortured. A woman knows in advance that a cute is not experiencing any enthusiasm and is not ready for defense, but to a preventive nuclear strike. Package begins in a few days. "On Saturday we will go to the store!", "Do you remember that in Saturday promised to take me to the store?", "Already Saturday, what a hell are you sleeping, we are late for a store!". The fact that after the store will happen a trip to mom, a person already learns in line at the checkout. However, in line at the checkout - a person is no longer a person.Household chemicals
And now you came, and first go to the department of cosmetics and household chemicals. Boys usually use the same shampoo - he stands on the shelf to the right. Girls love to gain. Minutes forty goes to a hypoallergenic tool for washing. In principle, here the man falls in spirit and ready to run, but after the powders there is a shelf with creams. After creams, there are still some witch potions, and then you need to choose a dishwashing agent. Lord, pretty, what can you choose, alone and the same surfactants everywhere?! Negation, anger, despair, acceptance - and this is just the first department!Seasonal goods
Then suddenly begins chaos. The girl rushes into the rackets department for badminton, circles, checkered plaid for picnic and swimsuits. She will not buy anyone. And she already has a swimsuit. It's just such a way to hurt you!Wine
UV, passage, wine department. Here we are already in our elements, sweetly bored slightly and strives to escape, but she knows: if not to give a boy to cut down, shopping will not come out. Nothing, he will pay for it soon!Cereals, Grocery, Vegetable Oil, Milk
Oko Typhoon. Exactly the very place, going to which you could optimize six times. Why follow five minutes from the shelf with vegetable oil and look at the showcase? All refined vegetable oil is done on the same technology, damn it! Why look at the shelf with croups, if the Bulgur is an inedible rubbish, Kuskus lies in the closet for years, and we always have the same grade of long rice and red lentils? What happened in the yoghurt market and why can it be important? All calm acquired in the wine department has already disappeared.Donkey in the cart
Infinite corridors. The stroller is almost overwhelmed, honey raised and flutters from the department to the department, and your task is to drag all this meaningless junk behind her and not lose her out of sight. The idea that the heavyweight and engineering imperfect cart does not have the same speed and maneuverability, as a slightly overexcussed buyer, never comes to the buyer in the head. Then she will lose and decide that it was you lost from our own laziness and is to blame for everything.Delicatesse
"Something I wanted smoked fish," she says. It is strange when you passed with lust by beer, she did not want to smoked fish. Okay, you are a boy, you useful to run. Run away.Meat
OK, meat is holy. Meat is always a constructive dialogue. If a little at least a little bit goes to meet, you can trust the lamb lyricly and, for example, a ccker in the freezer department, or vice versa mega-orteric pork neck. But here it can happen strange - for example, half an hour's bust of different grades.We forgot Vegetables!
Through the entire store to another end, you go for vegetables. Buy vegetables in large self-service stores - incredibly exciting occupation. The older generation of our readers, the fear of the trips "to potatoes", will understand us (and give us a hundred points ahead): Catch out the rotten tomatoes in search of elastic treasures - then the pleasure. "Look, cute, what a beautiful pumpkin," says the love of your life. You imagine in this pumpkin her beautiful eyes and elegant spout and with difficulty keep from direct strike right. In the pumpkin, of course, not in his favorite face.Cashbox
Queue. Before you eight huge baskets. Hopelessness. An hour of thoughtful detailed analysis of your drawbacks. And here you have a goal. Do not look at the numbers, silently reach the card and pay off. You still have all this home to drag. But all this is so easy to avoid! Get rid of a woman from hiking to the store is easier simple - it is enough just to shorting her handcuffs to the battery, and that's it! But we never do that, because, probably, we are saints. Or because we are afraid of consequences. What, however, the difference? Girls, well, begone already!