Someone from the great wise men said: if you think that it reached enlightenment, go, come together with the nearest relatives. And I will remove the illusion! The sage obviously knew something, yes. And moms in this sense are our best simulators. Try to stay enlightened when ...
…Mother is calling
Determine that the call from the parent, you can, even if you do not put a separate melody on it. He always hesitated when you brought a spoon over a plate. Or made a foot over the step of the minibus. Or stand at the checkout. Or a second ago she closed the toilet door behind him.
You can not dump the call. Otherwise, the mother will decide that the terrorists took captivation, they took the aliens, stolen the Gypsies and sold black transplantologists to organs. Do not take the phone, too, it is impossible: as the practice shows once a forgotten phone's house, a qualitative mother can wait for forty beeps eleven times in a row. You and the most terrible not to take: and suddenly she has a pressure attack, or a fire, or stolen Gypsies.
You take the phone and speak quickly: "Mommy, I'm sorry, I am very busy now, I'll call you back." "Well, I'm just for a min-duck," says the tube measured. - How are you in your opinion? We have a coolness today-Alo ... "There is a virtuosive art for a second and a half seconds to formulate your employment so that the mother does not interfere, that you do not give to say exactly the Gypsies, but also did not continue:" So in. And you know who I have met today? .. "The one who has successfully learned this art is approaching enlightenment at once a few big jumps.
…Mom says
Having finished the necessary affairs at the table, at the checkout and in the toilet, you gain mom. In most cases, Mom does not take the phone. No, not because she has a fire, Gypsy or she was offended. You already know that you have to be calm and stubborn (and thus approached enlightenment by the head!): Mom simply, as always, left the phone in the handbag, and the handbag in the wallet, and the wallet in the closet, and the cabinet in the hallway, and Mom itself is far in the kitchen.
Sooner or later, all obstacles will be overcome, and the conversation will take place. You will find out that your four-year sister gave birth to the third. "No, I do not hint at anything. But you understand myself ... "You will know that this is the milk that was 60, it was 68 - and, the cold, you will understand that I don't even know about what the price is in your store, and you need to quickly come up with Reply without knocking. Otherwise, you will be suspected at the same time that you do not have money, do not lead the farm and do not take food.
By the way about the means. "Are you enough for you? - Mom will concern. - How much do you get paid now? " You can not answer this question for no weather. Because or will be not enough, and this is an urgent to be alarming. Or there will be a lot, and it means you are unreasonably spread to all sorts of nonsense - instead of taking care of the mind to accumulate on really useful. Both items are valid absolutely with any voiced amount. Do not answer too. After all, Mom questions asks as a small prince: until he achieves. When you master this step, enlightenment will come close to you another kilometer.
... Mom is called
The main mother's question is when you finally come. To this question should always be ready. To train correctly to answer him, you need to watch the living nature at home - in the sense, take an example from your own husband. How does he answer questions like: "When will you redeem this thing, which all the time falls on the head?" Right: he answers as possible as possible. In order not to be flattened in the breakdown of the deadlines. And at the same time as confidently as possible - in order not to earn reproach to care from the answer. Yes, he also goes to enlightenment. Catch up with him, answering mom to the question about when you still wait. She will begin. What does it mean: cook.
... Mom meets
And so you have completed the promised - and arrived! Moment of happiness. Mom makes you in hugs ... and begins to criticize. You have some kind of strange hairstyle. Well, you really do not go. And what do you want to say this green strand. Admit, do not hide anything, look into my eyes. Mom is ready to courageously meet the worst. No, you say, are you deeply heterosexual and still with Vadik? Here is a detention, your Vadik is this ... so far, I suppose, did not increase? Well, okay, I will no longer. Rather, go to the table. You lost weight, you look terribly on you, well, clean death with oblique, only without braid, and with the strand of this idiot.
... Mom Kormat.
So, I put the potatoes to you. What does "stop, enough", I just started. Oh, do you laugh - three things? Yes, putting and eggplants, but it does not mean that it is necessary to ignore the potatoes. I knew it. Well, rice still have. Take these cabbageans. Yes, take at least two! And the cutlets, I specifically prepared these cutlets. Yes, I know that you do not eat, you said. But what does it mean: "don't eat meat"?! How can it be? What are you sick? Not? So you will! I need to eat meat necessarily. Who is it for this in this generally taught, the normal child was. True, I have never eaten cabbage. By the way, I put the cabbage. There is stew, and this is a sauna, very tasty, with a cunning.
Okay, you don't eat the cake, you want my death, well, even if they lie on a plate, they are not asked. I also did the fish, I remember everything. These are fields. Oh, by the way, wait, I will reveal this jar now ... Well, how do you need two kinds of fish? Yes, you try at least! And why two, not two. There's a herring else there. Tomators are such, and there is a pepper. Oh, salad! God, I completely forgot about salad. They were just fisted. Well, in the sense of "they", that one with mushrooms, and the second - oh, it is very interesting, according to the original recipe. You have to try. What does "nowhere" mean? By the church, you, by the way, was not at all triggered.
Well, okay, okay, no one rapes you. Seagull now brewing. Take the cake, but also the pate of apples. Pancakes are still trying. Why did you slander "I can not, I can not"?! What did you go away?!
... Mom accompanies
Well, just came, already in a hurry somewhere. Where, asks. Vadik is yours, I suppose, just and glad there without you to go away. Competitions are peach, I suppose here. Come on, "hard," let him meet you, lazy. Do not fit? And what is there at all? Tomators? Well, it is clear, I would never let you go without them. Well, do not want to compote, take the zucchini jam. What do not you like it. With pancakes, you know how to go ... God, pancakes! You did not take pancakes! Yes, where do you want, you won how many pockets in a backpack. In Sudiech, take, fit. Do not go back, I climbed into the package.
Why did you post down this sweater? I am me! You put it myself! Well, that, that at home, she and the exit is very even. Well, save the sequins. Yes, there is quite a little less than you are doing there at all. Okay, okay, let's jerk on the track. When will you finally come?
∞
By the way, if you think that you were able to survive the full cycle of the above described without a nervous breakdown, you are about to break the vicious circle of Sansary and meet with the Absolute one to one - wait a little. That's when you hear all these familiar replicas and freeze in place, realizing that they proceed from your own speech apparatus ... then we will see if you will stop the chain of incarnations - or the reincarnation of the immortal mafia! ;)