We thought quite a long time - publish this letter or not. Because the pain is here in every beak, and in our world with bad emotions and so everything is in order. But nevertheless, sometimes it happens when you need to read something. Something that reminds you that there is no endless stories. And about the fact that the watch is always ticking, and your loved ones are not at all watch, and they will not always be there.
Dear Cecil! When we said at the altar "only death will separate us," I zahoshikal. Well, quite a little bit ... And you tried to slap me. Then I was very young, and only now, when you leave me, I understand how important it was happening, and that it should mean the last twelve years were magical. Every morning I woke up and knew that my day would be awesome. I was for what I woke up. When I had difficulties, I had to fight with the whole world around me. When I had problems at work, I knew that if you love me if I could deserve your love, I can turn the mountains and make anything in general anything. I know that what happened to us was not something sudden. And fiery letters on the wall, they appeared for a long time ago. But until the last believed that we would find a way out. And you, despite all this pain and horror, you never gave up. I was not so strong, at some moments I was ready to pop up with a belly up, and I am ashamed for it. But you are not ... I wondered here - can I miss the funeral? I was told that no, it is impossible, it is necessary to go, it is right, and just so I can close this story for myself. I do not want to close anything and nothing to forget. I want to wake up every morning, hoping that you are lying next to me. Do I ask so much? You told me that I could love again. How is it possible? How can someone compare with you, with those years that we spent together, with the world that we had two? Everything else is some kind of stupid fake. Just just the shadow of the reality that we once created. I do not want to go to your funeral. Your parents think I'm a weak. So it is, it's true. But they do not understand this loss. They apparently, it is still to be. I forgive them. Sometimes I think it is generally possible how two people can turn into one? And when this happened, how can you demand that it is divided? Now three in the morning, after a few hours I need to wake up. I do not know if I come to your funeral. But I know for sure when I wake up - I want you to be here, next to me. I love you always, Jerry.