Modern psychology tells us that without the skills of the active hearing it is impossible to succeed in any sphere of life. PICs will not argue with this. But we are interested in the other: why modern psychology does not explain to us on ordinary and understandable examples, like, damn, actively listen to something?
However, we already figured out and generously share with you the basic rules of the active hearing. With examples!
Promotion
Your task is to give the interlocutor to understand that you listen very carefully. Look his eyes. Summit. Use the phrase "seriously?", "Wow!"
Clarification
Clarify that it means the interlocutor absolutely necessary. Otherwise, both will begin to think about each other small inexpensive. It is important to remember that your interlocutor can unconsciously avoid clarifying some painful issues. Use the phrase "you could not repeat ..", "You wanted to say that ...", "In your understanding it ..."
Resection
If you will learn the thoughts of your interlocutor, he, firstly, will hear how it sounds from the side, and secondly, it will understand that the feedback is established. And it will be able to or adjust their words, or go to summarize. Use the phrase "in other words ...", "that is ...", "As I understood ..."
Development of the thoughts of the interlocutor
You need to pick up the main idea of the interlocutor and try to develop it. So it will be easier for you to get to the true meaning of the statement. Use the phrase "I also think that ..", "I got the impression .."
Reflection of the feelings of the interlocutor
Your task is to give the interlocutor to understand that you are understandable not only to the meaning of them said, but also his feelings about what has been said. Use the phrase "You, apparently, are very worried ..", "I think you feel .."
Empathy
You need to inform the interlocutor that you not only understand, but also fully share his feelings. Use the phrase "in your place I would also ..", "How I understand you .."
Summary
It is very important to summarize the conversation. So your interlocutor will understand that it was not for nothing that I put out the soul in front of you. Use the phrase "if to summarize said ..", "in the end it turns out that ..."
