The psychotherapist Ekaterina Sigitov shared with us a very interesting article about what the general feminist is in common. This translation from English, but the problems faced by the heroine of the text are familiar with us.
Moms are different. Housewives, working, modern, informal, adepts of natural parents, supporters of domestic training. There are mothers alarming, followed by each step of their children. Honestly, probably somewhere there are also moms who choose the principles of education of children based on watching "Doctor Who" or something like that, because - why not, damn it? Each mother knows what her family and children are best suited, and can bring them up at their discretion.Today I want to talk about special moms: Mama-Feminists. They are close and understandable to me, perhaps because I myself am one of them, and if I had to choose what category I relate myself, I would choose this particular group. This is not a closed group, housewife moms and different other mothers listed above, at the same time can be feminists. But, unlike other groups, we are aware and attach particular importance to how sexism and patriarchy are reflected in each aspect of our culture. Mama-feminists raise children so that the children also noticed this and were ready to change the existing order of things.
In other words, mother-feminists are terrible mothers who grow terrible children, and something is completely different. What exactly?
1. We do not adhere to gender norms
Your son wants to play dolls and wear pink sneakers, and your daughter is rolling cars and go in a dinosaur costume everywhere? Excellent! Mama-feminists know that Gender is a social construct, and are not going to limit their kids "their natural side" of sex binarity - and also to be afraid if children do not match. (In my humble opinion, these norms are not important at all).
2. We carefully choose the adjectives to describe the qualities of our children or praise.
There is nothing wrong with talking daughter, what it is beautiful, and son, - what is he brave, but mother-feminists know that we are subconsciously accustomed to pay attention to the appearance of girls (and not an achievement or interests), and that focus on strength Or brave boys weakens attention to their success in studies. We quickly teach that you can always pick up praise so that you keep balance.
3. We teach the bodiposive
We do not condemn other people if their body does not comply with generally accepted beauty standards. Neither own children nor themselves, no celebrities or passersby on the street. There is no wrong tel.4. We teach to express consent and rejection of birth
We do not force children to hug or kiss someone if they do not want. Because if we want everyone around to understand the term "consent" and interpreted it equally, to teach it from early years. Of course, discussing the situation with the two-year-olds associated with acceptance to sex, hardly adequately (and not very help, as they just do not understand what you are talking about). But to explain to the child a clear language that his body belongs only to him, and that he can tell if he feels pain or discomfort, you can already from two years.
5. We use anatomically correct names of all parts of the body.
Not "Pisyun" and "Peach", but penis and vagina (or vulva, if we talk more generally). We do not use euphemisms for the name of genitals, since genitals do not need euphemis - just like hands, legs or fingers. The genitals are not something shameful, and we are not going to emphasize this to refuse to pronounce their names out loud, as if they are Lord Wolan de Mort.
6. We support other mothers in their decisions.
Mama-feminists believe in the assessments and elections of other women, including - in the right to choose, to work them or be housewives, breastfeeding or from a bottle, listen to Justin Bieber or not. We do not condemn anyone. We understand that holivars between mothers are created artificially and speculate on the uncertainty and hopes of participants, driven by a wedge between the natural allies.7. We constantly speake your children
It does not matter whether there is a question of infringement of the right of women to dispose of their body, a sexist replica of a well-known scientist or about the fact that Ruth Bader Ginzburg is famous - Mama-feminist is ready to speak any of these topics. This is such that we have a bunch of thoughts that need to be expressed - and we know that our enthusiasm, criticality and self-confidence will give children a good example. (This is most likely to be aware of us when children become adolescents, but ultimately serve good service).
8. We demand gender equality in the entertainment industry
Of all the characters named by the name or pronounced replicas, only 30.9% are women. This applies to telecepts, films, books, comics and video games. Even less in them are the main characters (unlike the main characters). We know that the media will not make the number of female and male characters equal, and make special efforts to find and popularize children's entertainment, recognizing that girls and women exist - not only as a girlfriend of the main character or set of stereotypes. We also know: the opinion of the experts of the entertainment industry that boys will not go to the film "for women" or will not read the book "for women" - erroneously.
9. We are suspicious of princesses
It is impossible to say that we are against absolutely all princesses (although some of us may be against). But at least we treat Cinderella about as an unfamiliar dog in the park: better let the child stay away from her, but if he really wants to stroke her, we will carefully accompany and supplement this interaction. Like a dog in the park, she may not harm him. It can even be fun with her! But we know that the danger is not doing anywhere, therefore always alert.10. We are constantly looking for the decision of all these problems.
If your goal is the gender equality, you always have something to do. Trying to teach a child to feminist values in the world, where the word "feminist" is actually equal to insult - an unusually complex task. But the good news is that at least openly call themselves the feminist (K), Ami rather few, however, a large number of people really support feminist values (including, making everything that is described above). And you?
Original: Jamie Kenney Translation: Olga Shmyrova