Mom worries. And all the time calls
Mom about you is very worried. From this concern you have a nervous tick and early gray. And what to do? She's a mother! She is not good, that you have long been in twenty (thirty, forty, fifty), you are a professor of philosophy, a master of sports on boxing or own a small candle breeding, for example. The maternal heart is still not in place. After all, you are "her silly girl", forgetting to wear "Ratuziki" and "clean the teeth." As a rule, mom is calling to the most "successful" moment when you already have no rates, but there is a breathtaking blue-eyed brunette. It is impossible not to answer my mother, because it will turn the hysteria, a heart attack, and that even worse, the sudden appearance of an alarmed parent on the threshold. And well, if she arrives alone, and not with a detachment of the Ministry of Emergency Situations. "Daaa, Mommy," you are tupey, trying to portray Painka, who has just laid down in the direction of Tomik Pasternak. "What is your voice? Something happened? You are sick? What are you? Drunk? ". Maternal heart will not deceive. You have to lie, that everything is normal, just you just have a bike bar. But usually it does not roll. "This is the simulator that on a white Toyota"? "Here she makes a pause and causes an unmearantive, but very sighting. "So what? Does he get married to you, or as always? "Mom misses. And all the time writes
Why did you buy a smartphone mom and showed how to send sms? You do not know. Especially, do not remember what I found when you put Skype with her own hands and explained how to use it. Oh yes! In fact, you hoped that she would become a little less often call. Naive. Now in addition to two dozen calls per day, you get two hundreds of reports of varying degrees of anxiety. Mom bombards you "end-of-visit" and "Cupil Products" on all fronts. You can not read, do not answer in the same second, too. For then, is the treasured call with the classic "something happened? What got drunk? Did he threw you? And the rates you put on? ". And you stand in the middle of a candlence, surrounded by subordinate and business partners, and they all understand that there is no - not put on.
Mother does not advise bad. ONZHEM!
Mother does not advise bad! Therefore, it advises only "good": for example, to immediately buy a house on the ruble, get married for a millionaire, stop nervous, give birth to her granddaughters of Five-six pieces. No, you, in general, not against a millionaire and dozen offspring, but there are circumstances. But about the "circumstances" mom does not want to hear. She is sure that you still have no house on the ruble exclusively because you do not listen to it.Mom wants you to be the best
Locked to so many years, and still not the queen of the world, but my mother's solid disappointment. If you ask mom "And what am I not satisfied with the current one?", She will be renewed, and then tell me that you are, of course, arrange it, but ... This is "but" - a disadvantage on a daughter who did not reach the famous mother's plank. In fact, mommy, as an insatiable monster - she is always small. Do not even hope that you give birth to her the sixth grandson, and she will lag behind. Never! Mom will always find but what else to poop you. And my mother knows exactly how you should motivate. She calculated this method, when you went to the kindergarten. It is enough to constantly compare you from Yulya, Olya, Pasha and Sasha, so that you understand - until their brilliant level, you still swim and swim. And also, any mom has a certain mythical "Natasha". It is usually a daughter of familiar acquaintances. Natasha Terem in the city feature, a loving husband (and first and forever), a hundred published novels and a good post in a bank. Good jar, yes.
Mom tells the truth and only the truth. Because if not she, then who else
Only mom will open your eyes to the truth of life. Moreover, it is not necessary to go far to go far - here it is, here, near. Husband? Nichkham lemming with a shameful salaries. Children? They will be janitors, of course - well, who can still be people who are not enough maternal attention? Work? Your job kills you. And the dress is full. And you do not drink Eleutherokokok, and therefore you will have nails.Mom always will regret you. Unfortunate
After mom comes well in all your painful points, remove the crust with the sore and the peppermill, it will definitely regret it. You can not even doubt. And even if you do not regret you, Mother will find a reason. I will not find, so thinks - what problems. "I feel, you have something bad happened, but you are not telling," she will declare, and do not try to resist and deny. Mom know more. ONZHEMAT
Mom is ready to come to the rescue. In first call and without it
If you do not take protective measures and do not move to the dugout dugout in the taiga, sooner or later it will come with the cutlets, a can of borscht and purchased on last year's sale by the becher. Of course, when you're waiting for it. And there - how lucky. It is best if her irrepressible energy goes towards general cleaning. In the end, when someone shifts panties in your closet - it is unpleasant, but not deadly. Worse, if the houses will be at home. Because my husband can help my husband too. Her husband's cleaning forever - the type of cleaning, which most moms own perfectly.Mom - Your Best Girlfriend! In general, even the only one
You, stupid, do not guess, but all except mommy, they envy you, they are substituted and you are cheating. So it was always. All your girlfriends are envious bastards. All your former - womanists, choppers and loafs. And your current one - just prevents the cat: Once he will certainly leave you, leaving in some rates (how not to fit?! You do not want you to remove the uterus!). Only mom all these years was and remains your real girlfriend. Therefore, you must tell her everything, to share with her all the details, and most importantly, listen to her advice and thoroughly follow them.
Mom knows exactly what will happen to you. Always knew
What will happen next? The business is known: you will return naked and barely under the warm maternal wing, of course, in tears and repentance. At times, it seems to you that the mother was attached to ambush and waiting for her terrible forecasts to come true to pronounce sacramental: "I warned you."Mom loves you
Whatever it was, no matter how it happens, no matter what happens, but still you love her as anyone in the world, and you know that she loves you. Perhaps a little excessive, but at the same time absolutely sincere love. And therefore, you forgive her frequent calls, annoying sms and even the appearance of the door with the Cutlets and the EMERCOM detachment. And you all more often notice its features, which scares and laughs you at the same time. "Put on warm chains", - someday you will tell you your daughter. And laugh out loud.