# Prokino. Batman vs Superman (USA, 2016)

Not that we seriously think that you would really look. But just in case, looked for you.

ATTENTION: SPOILER INSADE!

Crowning: Comics!

A huge crypton ship attacks the Earth, beautifully exploding skyscrapers. Superman flies around the ship, apparently trying to knock him down. Batman runs around the city and pulls out people from under the wreckage. Lovely looks into the sky for Superman.

Titre: eighteen months later.

Superman still lives with a journalist. Well, in the universal and sexual sense lives, and not at a particular moment. At a specific point, the journalist is elected in Africa and is trying to interview some African terrorist, and he predicts her hostages and is going to kill. Of course, the superman falls from the sky immediately and the journalist saves. True, in the process of liberation, the population of a small African country is accidentally dying, but real love and not such victims requires.

Batman, in turn, performs, on the one hand, less largely, on the other - no less effectively. He is trying people who traded women. And then gives the police. And women, and merchants give, Batman - generous soul.

Meanwhile, from the bottom of the Indian Ocean gets a huge green glowing crap. This is cryptonite. Radioactive mineral from the native world of Superman. The only remedy you can bring the crypton to the grave. This mineral is actively interested in the young psychopath billionaire on the name of Lex.

The US Senate appoints hearings in Superman. Because some is strange. On the one hand, he is a real good with fists. On the other hand, when he rubs the forest, such chips fly that good turns a little with horns and hooves.

And Batman, and a psychopath Lex separately from each other share the point of view of the US Senate - Superman is terribly suspicious. And Batman seems to be even jealousy. Because I'm here the most important superhero. But it is, between the lines.

Batman ... So, enough, let's call it clear - Ben Affleck. So, Affleck comes to his assistant in the brilliant technical part, which Jeremy Irons play. Iron is looking at the news report, where the cops knit merchants with women marked with a sticky bat. Traders are marked, not women. The reporter reminds that Batman's stamp is, in fact, the death sentence. The criminals in prisons know that Batman only the shelma marks, and commemorate the superhero dirty work independently. Ironex looks around Affale. Affleck blushes and lowers eyes.

"We are all criminals," Iron sighs.

"But not everyone is pedophiles," Affleck giggles.

- Yes, I did not sleep with Lolta, - Irons explodes, - it's just a movie, and I am an actor, like you, by the way.

"Okay," Ben says concilibly, - come on, giving me a super-technological hacking at home lex. They say he found cryptonite, I want to read what is in his computer interesting.

Irons snort and stretches the Affleck invitation to a charitable evening at Lex's house. That's right: the shortest path is straight.

At the charity evening, Affleck meets superman, who, in habit, is unconvincingly playing the role of a sports journalist and wears glasses. Both are strongly pretending to do not recognize about Alter Ego each other. Then Affleck goes to the basement and connects to the computers of a young psychopath. And departs for Martini until the information is copied. But when it comes back - the flash drives are no longer. She was stripped sexy brunette in a breathtaking dress. Affleck is trying to catch up with her, but nobody catch up with beautiful women, even Batman.

However, the next day the brunette returns a flash drive Afflext, says that all the information is encrypted, and is offended. Batman nods knowingly, inserts a flash drive into his computer and presses the "decrypt" button. In decryne information, some strange medical experiments are found with extraterrestrial life forms and a photo of brunettes in a suite-warrior suit with the inscription "Belgium, 1918". Not on costume inscription, but on the photo. Do not essence.

Meanwhile, during the hearings in the Senate in the case of Superman Capitol, suddenly explodes along with the good half of the Senate, and the superman turns out to be suspicious of even their own fans. And Batman in anger in anger, says - they say, he is an alien dude, that we know about him, why did we suddenly decide that he is our friend? I'll go, perhaps and kill him.

No sooner said than done. Batman steals cryptonite at Lex and makes it from him ... uh ... Spear. Yes, spear. Well, Cho. This is the superman's ability congenital, and Batman more and more on technological progress heats.

A young psychopath steal the mother of Superman (an experienced viewer did not understand where the mother was on Earth, but this is because the experienced viewer is immensely distant from the history of the question) and requires Superman to kill Batman. Suddenly.

What exactly the Affleck pumps the young psychopath (one, it seems, does not know about cryptonite) - it is unclear, but, apparently, it is possible in comics. Superman speaks okay, well, just do not touch my mom, and goes to Batman. But Affleck meets him all-arms - with a cryptonite spear. Superman is trying to explain that they are deliberately faced, it is necessary to act together, but on the head Afflets a hermetic hat in the form of a bat, and he seems to hear. The superheroes are ten minutes to deal with each other with the concrete walls, then Batman almost wins, wade a spear, but the journalist comes on and says that it is not necessary to kill Superman, teenagers will not forgive, and in general - it's all the young sneaky lex. Affleck gritically growls and discards the spear aside.

And the young sublore lex on the knocked ship of Cryptonsets creates a terrible monster from the corpse of the killed Krypton pilot, his own blood and such a mother. Superheroes fly to save the world from the monster together. Cryptonian ship suddenly joins the brunette in the Sena-Warrior Suit. Says - Hell, I am with you, I come in a weight, I killed a lot of alien monsters. The men speak okay, and the terrible battle begins, in the course of which the monster has enough superman and takes into the upper layers of the atmosphere. All these dimensions are observed by the brave American generals and even the President of the United States. They argue - on the one hand, it would be nice to drag the monster with a poorest rocket, on the other - the rocket and in Superman gets. But, having fluttering, the president still clicks on the Red Button. What is in vain. The monster turns out to be energized, so now he is completely almighty, after the rocket. Therefore, he descends back, starting to smash everything at all, and especially - Xena and Affleck. But superman nuclear missile just stunned. Therefore, he comes to himself, descends back from the space, takes a cryptonite spear in his hands, so well on time made by Affleck, and stuck in the Monster's chest. The world is saved, cheers. True, this fint with cryptonite for Superman is also fatal.

Ben Affleck and Xena, having sternly pursing his lips, watch the mourning process - Superman decided to bury with the Military Humans. Guns shoot, the military is honored, the journalist rides, spinning on his finger the wedding ring.

Xena says that people are not worth it - for the twentieth century they have already proven that they don't need good. Affleck promises that people understood everything and will certainly become good.

Closeup - superman coffin. Anxious music, blackout, blow, titers.

An experienced viewer opens a Word to write it down, but stops and opens a bottle of good wine. To celebrate the fact that comics all this time passed by his formation. And raise the toast to pass throughout.

Text author: Alexander Smilanskaya