Valerian and the city of thousands of Planets - a film shot along a cult comic ("Valerian and Loreline"), which George Lucas inspired, so in the first scenes we unobtrusively demonstrate the "thousand-year falcon" close-up. Our falcon, we are the first - as if says Luc Besson George Lucas, and this is just the beginning.
In short, then the essence of the film can be described as follows: a distant future, where there are still serious white people in pursuit of the secretary of the indigenous population, trust the brothels, human trafficking, illegal migrants crave to get a "multipat", and the old good world, then There is a new, multi-shaped and cosmic, saves a couple of white earthlings. In principle, you can not continue, but we must share spoilers!
So here. After a "millennial falcon" and high-tech flying solar, we show the avatar. Only locals are less blue and more bald. But all - model proportions and without single wrinkles, with chubby lips and fashionable cheekbones.
The tribe lives on a snow-white beach, collects pearls and a teddy-colored animals of all colors of the spectrum (remember, animals - it is important, they have an amazing ability - you put the pearls in the animal - and she breeds it).
Experienced spectator, squanding idyll on the beach and natives of model appearance, immediately understand that unity with nature is briefly and now will begin. In general, it begins - the smoking cruisers fall from heaven, the tribe hides in one of the fallen ships, and then the explosive wave covers all. The time of Chief Hergeo, Valerian (Dane Dekhan), wakes up sharply on his ship. He dreamed all this, but not really. It's Complicated!
After half an hour, Valerian goes to export a certain "unique being" from poachers, which, here is a surprise, ten minutes ago in Flashbek, wearing a local resident of the deceased planet. Coincidence? I don't think!
Valerian and Lorelyin (Kara Melievin), Krestomatiyo find out the relationship. He is unreliable hooligan, she is a pilot - an excellent study and wants stability. Valerian (similar to the young Dicaprio, which is about to drown, and not at the super gagger) walks with the trump card and calls Loreline married. It is familiar to embarrassed, so they go to the mission, where many trainees die, and the agents are sparkling on a torn dress. Valerian reverses Lorelyin Marry, she does not go anywhere. Mother-in-law of pearls (and pearl) turns out to be at Valerian. In parallel, we show the natives who liked, armed and also wanted to get a little animal (but they could not) at a low-surpatic analogue of Jabba Hatta. (Lyrical retreat - for some reason, unpleasant merchants, dragdilers and other "bad" characters have terrible teeth and bloated figures, and "good" heroes, like Avatarovtsev with a destroyed planet - on the contrary, smooth, high and minimal weight. Another coincidence? ... I don't think)
So, Loreline and Valerian go to the city of thousands of planets, from which everything began with his animal. At the Space Station "Alpha" (Surprisingly, the place where 17 million creatures live from different planets is called in honor of the first letter of the Greek alphabet), and then the intrigue without intrigue begins.
Serious people appear in the pursuit, on the task of which Valerian agents and Loreline and were engaged in finding a little animal, especially attracts attention to a real colonel Arun Filitt, according to whose species, and the fact that he torture a sideline of one of the Avatarovs, an experienced spectator understands who There is to blame for everything and why in the space Internet without borders Valerian can not come together information on the found "unique animal", and there is also no information on the whole planet.
And at the same time, an alienation zone arises in the center of Alpha, where you go - you will disappear. On the map, it is marked red and everyone looks at a holographic image of an ominous red spot. Obviously, agents will be there from minute to minute.
So, in general, it happens when the armed former serene natives are watched on the Council with bizarre weapons and kidnap the real colonel (because they thought that he was needed, he needed). Next - 10 minutes of the optional chase Valerian behind them, BAC, and it is in the zone of alienation. All are upset, especially Kara Middle. Which after a small quest also falls into the exclusion zone, where in general, it is quiet, light and abductly kidnap the aliens with the expected bag-shaped figures, which hang out on the outskirts of the exclusion zone itself.
And then the most interesting begins. So, it was stated that alpha is a city of thousands of planets, where reasonable creatures exchange knowledge and experience from all over the planet. You imagine a library, or a bunch of servers, well, or at least cubic meters of hard drives. And brought there why? And cannibalism? (Loreline kidnap the analog jabby Hutta, so that their emperor ate her brains). Somehow it is all badly linked with progress, knowledge and other humanism and rationalism.
In short, some time show us a "cereal district", according to which Valerian is being worn in search of Loreline. Where gets acquainted with Rihanna. In the sense, with aliens, the colors of the plaque, which can take any form and most of all in the world she wants a multipasport (Luke Beson passes the flame hello to his "fifth element" once again). Her performance was (yes, in addition to the salvation of the Virgin in trouble, Valerian had time to look at the erotic theater) that Rihanna change 3 sexual images per second, Tomno firming on the hoop. Schoolgirl on the rollers / maid / nurse / dancer Varieta, just do not mention. She persistently suggests Valerian to fulfill all his desires, but the agent has a gift of conviction and she suddenly throws his occupation and also goes to save Loreline, turning into one of Lorelin's kidnappers.
And in the process, expected perishes.
What we know about her is an actress, her name is Babble, she speaks of Stanislavsky's method, swirl portrays erotic fantasies with the face of Rihanna, and also the fact that her native planet is worse than hell. And she needs a multipat. And it all happens in the progressive city of thousands of planets.
Return to avatar. Local residents who embraced in a fallen cruiser when their planet exploded, learned how to grow tomatoes in space, headed the instructions and, reinforcing (!) With the help of subwoofers, a spaceship, which was seen for the first time, suddenly moored to the city of thousands of planets, where they arranged the alienation zone. For happiness and full-fledged work, they need a pearl and a briber. By the way, the spirit of the deceased aliens settled in Valerian, thanks to which he looked through the cinema in the head of the end of their planet.
Just at Valerian and Loreline there are both the remaining inhabitants of the planet - the pearl is the storage of the energy of a huge power, and the animal can breed endlessly. Here he is, an eternal engine, an eco-friendly and reliable.
On the way, we find out what was not mistaken - and the commander, who from the very beginning we did not like (and torture their tribesmen), by the way, blew them to the planet, unsuccessfully turned with someone on her orbit. He drank both the enemy fleet and millions of reasonable creatures, about which he, however, did not particularly regret, but worried about the disclosure of deception.
Avatarovtsy, having received their own, quietly left, and not taking excavation bills for moral and physical damage. Valerian, by the way, managed to be aimed about the status of earthlings who arranged a genocide, and did not want to part with a useful animal, because he performed the order and the animal belongs to his government. Lorelin Restored justice, at the same time agreed to marry (why, what does it ask?)
Serious people in the chains are defeated, the military coup in the earthlings abolished (the real colonel did not want to surrender), the zone of alienation disappeared, all satisfied and happy (not counting migrants, the inhabitants of the gold blocks and the next tribe, which can get caught in the military conflict zone of the next privileged race) .
According to the results, it can be noted that the film can be watching lovers of a cult comic book, those who like to look for and find Easter (them there is a million - from bringing stellar wars, to a self-escape from the fifth element), fans of Luke Checkon (he has a lot and willingly quotes himself) .
In general, in the plot and execution, there is a particularly nothing to say - the soverers save the world, the victims of the natives, as usual, everyone is good for goodbye (and at the same time they build a spacecraft on the knee), aliens are massively played by the role of statists for laughter (although sometimes shall be divided by key information and They play the role of engines of the plot), supersays save everyone (and colleagues die around them), Loreline - impractical dresses for every mission.
Illustrations: Frames from the movie