Psychologists working with women are increasingly talking about bodily dysphoria, which suffers more people with XX chromosomes than can be represented. We asked Psychologist Asu Mikheev to tell about the dysphoria for our readers.
Generally "Dysphoria" is an euphoria on the contrary. The norm differs in the same way, only in the opposite direction. And just like Euphoria, the dysphoria can have a variety of reasons - this is not a disease, it is a symptom.
A physical dysphoria is called such a state of mind in which a person cannot accept his body as part of his "I". Private and very bright case of bodily dysphoria - gender dysphoria, when the body is not just that it is as it is, but specifically what is it floor. This may be accompanied by a sense of sad bewilderment "Why do some strange aunt show in the mirror?" Or the rage "frozen carcass, I will destroy you," but not adding health and friendship in any case.
Confidence that "it is definitely not me" can bear anywhere, and escape to another gender is not so bad option compared with anorexia, obsession with cosmetic surgery, self-injury and suicide. And heavy dysphoria does not exclude anything from this list.
The bodily dysphoria, especially heavy, is (well, that relatively rarely) the causes of a purely technical nature. For example, serious unbalancement of hormones, schizophrenia or innate penalty of sexual status - when someone, in the appearance of a "girl with stupid fantasies" turns out to be a chromosomal man with impairment of intrauterine development. For schizophrenia, gender dysphoria is also not the hardest alignment (Gregor "kafki remember?). But people happen with the full heads of cockroaches and at the same time the full acceptance of their body; And girls happen to such a testosterone level that endocrinologists want to send them to serve in the Airborne Forces - but at the same time flirty, confident in themselves and absolutely satisfied with the size and forms. And fully, full of women who will tell the most meticatcher in the face "not my patient!", Genetic and two children choir will say "exactly a woman!" And even the analysis of the genital hormones does not suspiciously reveal. And they, such, it seems to be normal, constantly go to this euphoria on the contrary. And all because the body is not. Sometimes even definitely, which is exactly what. Adduced tits? Not that. Transferred nose? Sucked the stomach? Pumped muscles? I bought strapon and treated in front of the mirror in it? Again not that ... Oh! We must inflate the ass!
Surrounding funny, but it is not funny. She as Gregor, six topped legs painfully scraper on a chitinular shell. Let me release me from this. Somehow. You are welcome. Let it be better to schizophrenia - at least treated it. And she seems to be all the cogs in the head on the spot, but only in the store she for some reason automatically goes to watch Size S. Although much, many years struggles in order not to exceed L. But this is ... Not me. It can not be that it was me.
Next to the dysphoria lies no less anxious problem of the alienation of the body. There, at least, your own flesh does not cause anyguard nor anger in a person. Man just do not care for her. Approximately as on the cover of the train, in which he travels to work. To completely crash here another train is not necessary, and so - what's the difference. Where I am, and where is this car, nothing in common. Very comfortable condition, especially when you are needed, without personal contact, different people also touch. The dissociation with the body is characteristic of motor disabled, prostitutes and laid mothers of mothers. "You will fuck - do not be boudes." Yes, yes, it is it.
There are two reasons why we all in one degree or another came across unpreparedness to take our body.
First, we all passed Pubertat when the body suddenly, without the announcement of the war, begins to move in an unpredictable side. And even if you do not look into the mirror for years - the clothes still sits crookedly, shoals and furniture are hungry, shoes taking off, buttons fly away, and the T-shirt, which is removed in the evening, stinks with a mixture of cat urine, tar and rotten fish scales. Previously, this was not! What? ... and if you get courage and look into the mirror? Even those lucky and happy who did not hit the fat balance and even the skin remained clean - they find a strange nose, knuckles where you do not need, not at all such eyelashes and ouzas boring color hair.
But one thing would be wrong. In the end, when Pubertate, not only the body changes. It is worse that we have already tightly shot down expectations from what the butterfly should fly out of teenage dolls. Sounded with careful perennial deception.
After all, how did you build expectations about the future of the body a girl in the middle (that is, the peasant) family is two hundred years ago? In the bath, weekly. In fifteen years I will approximately such as my sister Manya. Thirty-five is about the same as Mom now. Forty five - as aunt stesh. At sixty - like a grandmother. If the family had more than one phenotype (aunt Masha and the heads are long and angular, with big legs and little breasts, and Mom and Sister Annie - Round, Shovonogiye, with an elastic immense booty), then the girl knew: she could be a story in the father's breed And she will be like aunt, and maybe in the mother's - and she will be like a mother. Option look like the norm of Jean Baker - was not!
Let's compare how much the girl sees naked, semi-nailed and slightly dressed female bodies in a week, and how many of these bodies have a common genotype with a girl? Yes, to be honest - how many of the women's bodies shown to us are generally related to Khomosapiens, and are not the legal photos of photoshop?
And the real adult women close to the girl's genotype are not very ready to be naked next to her. It is indecent. There is nothing to look here! Give a towel!
And the girl just once is convinced - look like the cover - good and beautiful, and by the way there is nothing indecent, won, on the street poster hangs, the bras advertise or there is a car. Looks like mom - terrible and must be covered. Genetics to do not care about advertising, and she grows us that feet and the ass, that mom or father's sister. Or some combination of two grandmothers.
So, in the end, it is those traits of the usual human (especially female) body seem to be supported by the most sudden and terrible - which the last ten-twenty years are most carefully destroyed in the images. Today, the battle comes with cellulite and hairs on the body - and our grandmothers felt violently with freckles, straight hair and too large feet. Remember the history of Cinderella's sisters? So, this is not fantasy. Buy shoes for a couple of sizes less "for elegance" - it was a real topic. And walk, yes. And hate yourself for "these damned skis." And they even shy to look at the store on the native 39 size, especially since there were only the boys and boots felt. And the freckles discolored all the chemistry, right up to the chlorine. Only imagine yourself - "White" on the face.
But tell me the then fashionista about the shogaring of the bikini zone - she would faint.
Okay. With children it is clear - go to the beach together more often and in the pool too. And grandma not forget to take with you. And about drawn diva do not forget to remind you that they are drawn, and in fact it does not happen. On the Internet, full of rollers about how they make photoshop goddesses, children of both sexes are not harmful to look for laughter, and for think.
And what to do with you? With melancholy, what's on you, flying soul, I hope for some reason this awkward flesh, which also requires care? Which one to twist, foam (and it still wants, it does not want it), in something socially acceptable, not overload, not overcook, and then it will damn it at all, will refuse him at all? This document, which you carry with you, to which they look and react (and about you inside this cell, not everyone can guess). Disphoria, especially launched, especially adjacent to the loving family ("Who are you only this?") - It is absolutely not Safe condition. The body, which is derived by the mind in the "strange binding appendage", is deprived of the possibilities of planning to inform the consciousness about the needs of the body. As a result, we have to find out what it wants, according to indirect signs. I want to sleep, "and" I'll buy on the walls again, "I wanted to drink," and "I didn't write a voice and yesterday," not "Fu, I don't want this food" And "Well, again, again in acne" . Or hear (well, when in the third retelling, not closer, oh no, not closer) as aunt Lena something was going to go, going to the doctor, but something was all inappropriate, and then to hug, the fourth stage, so Everything, by the way, in the cemetery of Agnesss Ivanovna saw, remember her?
What can be done?
In the very first approximation - take the body that it exists, and what it is, as is. Not like yourself (this is the perfect option) - and, for example, as your pet. By the way, quite cute. And charming, look, what messs. By the way, like something similar to your favorite people - something on my mother, something on my son.
Do not offend him. Think, would you keep you without a single drink \ pee for eight hours, for example, a cat? Would you feed the horse hamburger? Tighten on the dog a belt across the abdomen on three holes closely comfortable?
There are people who do not like the concept of a "pet", but like "as if my body is my child." Could be so. You can, as you like, only from the body to consciousness a communication channel appeared. All the fact that a person in the dysphoria regards the noise signals or breakdowns is to perceive as requests of a living being. Slightly less reasonable than we ourselves, but completely slightly. Perhaps a spoiled life and upbringing. "Smoking I want" - and what to do, it is impossible to quit smoking for many people, but let's pull the remission of another day? And I go for it in a quiet corner and we are sweating-I-Ind, you want? And the water of ladies is cold?
"I want fried potatoes" - exactly potatoes? Or maybe some proper fat, olive oil want? Well, once the potatoes are exactly - or maybe we bake in foil?
Actually, the appearance, if we regard it as "this is my native body, it is impossible to offend it," is also perceived a little, but easier. Well, yes, not twiggy and not even Rihanna. Well, and the focister, no matter, do not get out of Afghan Borzoy. Let's make from just a focister pure, trimmed, fed, fun foxterier. And you need to do - cheerful, clean, tidy exterior. To go, sit, be cozy in this body, comfortable and pleasant.
And already when "cozy, convenient and happy" will become the norm of things, usually they themselves are imperceptibly tightened "attractive, standing on and elegant." If necessary, of course. Sometimes the first three points also change their life and the willingness to be one with their own organism.
By the way, the words "body" and "whole" are actually one-time. Seriously.
