Some believe that children are themselves happiness. But scientists do not believe in it. But to experience a sharp feeling of happiness in the presence of a child who has a birthday every year - quite simple. Here is a step-by-step strategy, tested by time, experience and, of course, blood.
1. First you need to start a child. If you are a woman, then it is more or less simple. If you are a man, then ask my wife, maybe you already have a child, and you did not notice. If you do not have a wife, then you get married, and then the child will start himself.
2. Now that you have a child, you need to put it in a warm place and wait until it grows up. Usually it takes several years, but do not despair. Washing, cubes and homework perfectly help to pass time.
3. If you do everything right, then you already have a ready-made child to this item. It's fine. You can go to the main part of the recipe. Ploy to the passport - if you have won your child, then his birthday will be recorded in your passport. And if someone else's thing in someone else. A week before the above date, buy forty invitation tickets from Barbie or with a spider. In order to choose the right picture, you need to determine the sex of the child. If you are a woman, there will be no problems. If a man, then ask his wife. Playing a child to sign invitation cards, and quickly go to the store and buy more forty. Anyway will have to rewrite.
4. Meanwhile, order a clown. No, not a killer, although it is very difficult to convince himself. Just come to clown and, hiding your eyes, say that you want to see him in the child's birthday. Eyes need to be hiding not in order to hide emotions raging in your exterposed soul, and a clown rushed into your eyes. Because the clowns love to rush into the eyes, this is one of the main laws of the universe, it cannot be changed, you can only accept it. After you agree with clown about the amount, be attentive: you should give him money, and not he you. Although common sense speaks the opposite. But after all, about the child, a common sense to you, too, said something? Well, pay, and do not shift. Of course, expensive. Therefore, boldly take a fateful decision - the holiday will take place at home. No halls, no restaurants.
5. On the last day before the long-awaited celebration of discarding the child in the portfolio ... You do not know what it is? Ask your wife. If you are a wife, then sit down on the floor and shove a little. In the portfolio you will find forty invitation tickets that your child forgot to distribute. Take the phone and start calling all the children by the list. If parents tell you that there is no one to bring a child and pick up, politely answer: "Nothing terrible, I'll take it in five myself, and in eight will return home." When you finish, go to the next item. I do not want? Hihi.
6. And so, this very day has come. Recommendations excessive - circumstances are already so stronger than you that you can only pray or swear, depending on religious beliefs and upbringing. Remember that well-brought up people swear exquisitely, without tautologies and words-parasites. Do not use all curses and / or prayers immediately. After all, at the last moment a clown will call you and says that the car was breaking. And it must be brought. And what do you say to him? "Many thanks"?
7. In the morning, go to the store to buy everything you need. Do not strain themselves very much, you still have to ride twice, at a minimum. After the last trip, there are all checks. How would the hall be cheaper? What you say, can not be! By the way, you forgot to buy a cola.
8. For an hour, wear around the city, like a salty hare, collecting children. Part will have to be sent by taxi, but do not worry. If you did everything right, then you are not interested in money at this moment. You're already above this.
9. While twenty children are yelling and deal with the surrounding environment, proceeding to the kitchen and puff a glass of brandy. If you are a man, then at this moment the wife will go to the kitchen and shout: "You're crazy with you, you still have children at home to deliver! Do you want to kill them? " In no case answer the question. If you are a woman, then it will be a mother-in-law.
10. Drain twenty children at home, come back to a crushed apartment and quickly suiver. Perhaps tomorrow the cleaner will come, but it is impossible to leave the house in such a state! Keyword - "Quick". Of course, behind a glass, you will no longer climb after that, so just type cognac how much will fit and fall into bed.
Everything, now you can feel free to wake up in the morning. A pleasant feeling that all this horror behind will fill your soul to the nightingale and the aroma of forest violets. If you feel not happy, it means that you did something wrong. Or the children hit the defective, or clown fake. But, perhaps you have other children and do not have to wait for the next attack of happiness and rest for a whole year.