So, one day you woke up and found a woman in her house. And not just so a woman who will now dress and leave, but clearly living here, with you. She walks around the house, touches your things and even says something about the future color of wallpapers in the bedroom. Quietly, do not panic, just check all the following items: it may be that you are simply married.
1. The ring of allists did not get you.
Yes, I know that you were sure that you will get your charm. Forgive, I was squeezed by Golluma, thoroughly burning an inactive copy. I do not know what the matter is the features of the conspiracy or female solidarity, but in the registry office, the magic elf elves give the default to brides. And it does not matter that the inscription on the elven does not appear if you throw a ring in the fire. Believe it, it is it and it belongs to your wife. And you - she. And a little her cat.2. You lose in the battle for the blanket.
Even if you spent years to study Giu-Gitsu techniques and passed all popular online strategies, this battle is yours Waterloo. Even the most fragile girl is able to rush the sleeping man, forever having deprived of his warm shelter. The technique of "caterpillars, ruddering cocoon, does not work, so just pressing the second blanket and keep it nearby. ATTENTION: You can use the severity only after the wife fell asleep! Otherwise, the resentment and bitter moans are provided.
3. You no longer know where your things lie.
Yes, yes, all your values and treasures suddenly shifted in a space-time continuum, thumping into a black hole after a terrible disaster called "female cleaning". Searches are useless, can be lost only in one way: ask your companion of life, where she sewed training pants and tie with ducklings. Answer: "I don't know, somewhere there, look for" - a sure sign that your happy workings are irrevocably rushed into the dark depths of the garbage disposal.4. You learned that most of your habits are or harmful, or balobiness. Or - both.
For example - to grow a bristle. Or drink beer with friends every Friday. More granted Friday beer with friends can only be Friday beer with unfulfilled friends. The collection of comics, the figures of the heroes of the "Star Wars" and other trash is suitable only for collecting dust (which you most likely do not let the wipe, because you remember the fate of the workshops). And in general: "adult men If cars are collecting, then - real." And - no, light-catching bike can not be considered the beginning of this collection.
5. You hear the advice every time you do something.
And no matter what exactly you are busy - score a nail or gonna throw garbage. This does not mean that you do not know how to use a screwdriver or there are some sacred knowledge about replacing sockets, known for women only. Just come across, friend. The girl is born with a desire to control everything. Unfortunately, a small army is not born after the girl, which she would have to execute on Saturdays and to be pregnant on Thursdays. All that she has is you. Therefore, once again - come across.6. You can no longer smoke in bed.
And in the kitchen, too, it is impossible, the whole apartment has failed tobacco, march to the loggia! In general, it's time to think about throwing, at least from savings, because I was found, finally, a kind person who cares about your health. And also believes how much money takes place on "this stinky nasty". There is no more "cigarette after", especially since the head and so hurts, and still sleep in the joined room ... All your arguments seem to be "before you didn't confuse," they will break up about bitter female tears and complaints about you. What are you blinking? Go, smoke on the loggia, at the same time and take the laundry!
7. You have grown up.
Yes it's true. No, friend, sorry, it is not muscles. This is it. Belly. And what did you want - now you are regularly and tasty, you boasted friends myself. Here, as soon as you notice trouble, in no case do not start torn out loud: it will immediately report that these are all the consequences of alcohol and snacks in the nearest cafe, and that the "normal person" takes himself to the work of Sudoby with the first, second and compote . But the main thing is to all your stubborn reluctance to do anything around the house, and in general, "at least a shelf nailed." So, if you are not particularly rod shelves - quietly look for a gym next door.8. You have noticeably increased the number of relatives.
Yes, you do not remember them all in the face and names, you are confused in the degree of their kinship and geography of residence, but these are little things. It is much more important that they all know you well and remember, and also carefully follow you, your career and behavior in social networks. Therefore, before lick still life with a stained aunt, look around - it is quite possible that some kind of daughter-in-law of a nephew of a nephew is waiting for you to make it a rapid "Claz".
9. You learned to do the sleep.
In small amounts, they are cutting throughout the house: in a joinery instrument and a box with hooks and brillons, between the old journals converted with the confusion and in the T-34 tank model. In a word in all those scanners, where the wife refuses to see. But even such reserves can be suddenly looted: some secret force entails women to the places of accumulation of unaccounted monetary signs. I strongly suspect that in the maternity hospital girls immediately implanted a special radar that is sensitive to soak. And - no, use a wife in search of treasures is not an option, the radar is activated after marriage and configured ... right - exclusively on you.10. You have ceased to pay attention to women.
No, you, of course, you see them, and even able to appreciate their charms and dignity. But now you look at them a little otherwise ... as you know exactly what this story can end.