Tragedy, even if they occur not with us, they instill horror and confusion. Even if this person is your best friend, you are a chain and just do not know how to behave and how to help.
Forget about cliche
The cliché turns any tragedy into banality - so banal that for her already a thousand years ago came up with a suitable replica. That is, a person is like not grief, but the matter is everyday, think. "It was expected," "Everyone will be there," "You need to forget it and go on," "Everything will be fine." And the cliché is not only the standard words of sympathy. This is the turnover like "Well,". You threw a husband, grabbing a family ticket office, but you are now again a free bird. Your beloved granny died, well, but she left you an apartment. Such a phrase seemed to condemn the flavored - they say, not, see how much benefits!
Forget about colors
If a friend died close, to support his bouquet is a stupid idea. He saw on these flowers at the funeral in half a day. If he got into the hospital with a serious diagnosis, the flowers look even worse - still putting wreaths somewhat prematurely. The best alternative to roses and lilies - food. Yes, no matter what happens in life, and nobody canceled basic needs. The foundations of life are crumbling, and there is still a breakfast. Even if there are no moisture for cooking and money on restaurants. A bouquet is not needed to anyone. A box of homemade cookies will delight much more.
Show patience
It is not easy to sympathize. Sometimes a man in the mountain turns into an ulcer or a full ass. This is anger - the normal stage of experience in grief. It seems to him that everyone belongs to his tragedy frivolously and do not understand her depths. He is angry with the fact that others have something that he lost. He wants to find extreme. In such an atmosphere, familiar and raise are scattered. But friends - that is, real friends - still have to stay nearby.
Give a man to mess around
Tears and complaints are quickly tired. And people in the mountain quite often hear the damn tactless "enough cry", "be strong" or "tears will not help here." Do not be such a pig. It is not enough that a person has all his life upside down, so also those surrounding dictate him how to behave, not to spoil the party to them.
Stay Connected
A man who survived a heavy loss, knocks down a squall of sympathy. But it is only the first week. Time goes, and those who sent sympathetic cards and letters, offered "to apply, if that" disappear is logical, they are full of their worries. A month later, flavored remains in vacuo. For all his grief - old news, but for him it is still a living wound. Do not disappear for a long time, keep contact, call or run after work, and even better - pull out a friend on fresh air, let albeit. But I do not care a stick and do not call every day.
Do not begged
To tell the flammable, which exceptionally an excellent person was his mother, obviously too. He knows it. Actually, since the funeral he only thinks about it. And those who begged to talk to him, they say basically about it. Better help to distract and creep about something else, not having a relationship to the theme of grief. Nobody wants to turn his raw appendage of their grief.
