My dear boys, this is an impossible letter, but I hope that love that lies for every word, deeply throws you. I love you - each of you - with all your being, but I'm afraid.
I need to tell you one story - the story that I desperately wanted to hide from you, but which you should learn.
You see, I'm afraid not for you, but I'm afraid of you. What you can become.
I am afraid of boys, because they grow up and become men, some of which truly frighten me. Some men are able to scare women to death - only because of the harm they can cause. Or already caused.
Harm, the victim of which was not one woman.
My past forced me to be afraid of the world, in which I led you. He made me fear. And I really need to know that you will never become like him.
He was an ordinary guy. He studied at the college and simply "took a bad decision", as well as Brock Turner. His name was Denny. When we met, he seemed to me kind and cute, but then this cute boy turned my life into a nightmare, who even now - after 13 years - still does not give me peace.
Because the same evening, when we met, Denny raped me. He sneaked into my room and raped me. I woke up in blood, he was in me, shaking everything inside while I screamed: "No, no, no! OH MY GOODNESS! AAA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LEAVE ME ALONE!".
He did not release me. Instead, he threw me on a wooden chest and continued to penetrate me back.
"You said you're not against," he whispered in my ear. - "Previously, when I looked at me with this seductive smile in this my mini-skirt."
A few days later, when I tried to come to my senses after the event that turned my life from my legs on my head, the voice in my head was teased to me: "Maybe it was your fault. You should not have dressed. You drank, maybe you asked him to sleep with you? Maybe you said something, do not remember? "
The voice in my head is the reflection of the cruel world in which we live. This voice that made me believe that the problem in me is imposed by society covering the culture of violence. A society that is confident that a woman who behaves so that sick people perceive it as an invitation, herself wants to be raped.
I want you to understand, my dear children. No one wants to be raped, no one asks about it. No woman goes to bed with the hope that he wakes up from the movements of a man inside her against her will. Rape is a crime in which the victims are innocent, whoever thought. Rape is a disgusting, degrading human dignity, animal abuse of force that breaks the life of another person to pieces.
You may ask why I tell you this terrible story. I tell her to you, because, despite the fact that I am afraid of you - Male and men in general - I hope for you. I hope on my sons: Male, Rylene and Austin. Each of you gives me hope that not all the boys grow into men who degrade women. Your delicate, innocent souls help me understand that you do not need to be afraid. You are not him. And our society will not always remain in the state in which it is now.
You give me hope for what you can change this world. And I feel responsible for ensuring that you go along the way, which leads to change.
Sex confuses. When you grow up, you will feel an irresistible desire to satisfy one of the strongest primitive needs - sexy. But sex should always be on mutual agreement. And even in this case you should treat a partner with maximum respect. Be careful, boys, sex can destroy life in a matter of minutes, if you do not think about what you are doing.
But listen to me carefully, because now I will share with you a secret. The only thing that can be stronger than sex is knowledge, information and logic. If you use them correctly, it will be your best protection.
Do you know how I made silenced this terrible voice in my head, who worked to me that I was to blame for my own rape, my clothes and the amount of drunk? With the help of information. My professor in criminal law told me that, according to the law, consent to sex is considered invalid if it is given in a state of alcohol intoxication. This, the support of doctors and the psychologist saved me from lying, which society wanted to impose me.
I know that everything can be too much for you, but I want you to know that I am here, next to you. All your life I promise to give you those knowledge that will help you make weighted and deliberate solutions. I will help you to pacify your most primitive desires so that under any circumstances they did not come out from under control and did not take over the top over you. I will show you how to live a full life worthy and honest. I will teach you how to become boys who will change other boys.
The culture of violence is not just a problem, this is a real crisis. But together we can affect the course of events. We can break this vicious circle.
My voice is one, but you are four with you. And our four voices can turn into a variety. But everything begins with me - I will teach you to be boys who grow into men who value and respect the inviolability of human life.
A source