Having jealously on the horizon of the nodik, we usually go to the other side of the street, leaving the doorway, we run to the airport, jump on the first plane and fly to Kathmandu, just not to hear it. Standing complaints are the best way to dissipate people within a two hundred kilometers radius.
But sometimes it sometimes has to whine. And if you want to get from the surrounding help and sympathy, play according to the rules.
Complain the right people
If you do not sit in a single chamber, you probably have a fairly wide choice of ears for pouring your sorrows. Of course, if a person in response to your complaints, or digs in his smartphone while you set out the essence of the problem, or says that all your misfortunes are nonsense and Blazhen - he may simply be a scratch.
But it is possible that you unsuccessfully chose a listener. It is aware of who a) is familiar with your situation - this will not need to tell the whole story since the flood, b) was in a similar situation - and survived, and B) does not dwell in a similar situation, only worse.
It is clear to a man who was born with a silver spoon in the mouth and savings understands as a mansion in Nice 300 meters from the sea, and not overlooking the Angle Promenade. Do not wait for sympathy from a friend who is thinking to move to permanent residence in the refrigerator box. You need one that at least once in my life calculated whether he would have enough noodles on his pack, and now counts the cost of pink Mercedes. Such will understand what you are talking about, and can even tell you how he managed to get out.
Complete in the right time
Sometimes the desire to raise is covered with an inanimate, as a tsunami, but if you are not drunk in Dupil, you can always hold yourself. So hold. No one can sincerely delve into your difficulties when there is an overwhelming party, or Robbie Williams performs to the bis "Road to Mandalay", or the interlocutor of Lyuto is late for the meeting, and you clung to him in the sleeve and does not intend to let go until you possess everything. Respect someone else's time and need. People are not beasts, and most simply can not ship you on half the phrase, because they are your complaints now completely inappropriate. But do not wait for you to listen.
Want to respect you and listened to - respect the interlocutor. That is honestly admit: "Vasya, I'm on the ears in Guano, you need to talk to someone, is it convenient for you now?" And do not be offended if Vasya will answer "no."
Don't hide
Complaining? Keep in mind that in response and you can finish. Such is the social ping-pong, and the sky will disgust you from rebuilding, because it is de nonsense in comparison with your problems. In general, never and under any circumstances do not think that someone's troubles less or more yours. Because they can not be measured. 100 kilograms - is it a lot or a little? It depends on who carries them as far and why. So with the problems the same story.
Do not forget that friends are not a service for listening to your whining. They do not have to do it. And whether it is ready to give something in return if they still agree to such a weightless pastime. Attention and support, for example.
Fuss dosage
If you come from the threshold with the words "Well, what happened to you again?", So you have gone somewhere with a stick. Everyone has a familiar who reduces all communication to the complaints of life. Such a catastrophe person. We hope this is not you - because people-catastrophes are unbearable.
Of course, from whining a lot of benefits. It helps formulate claims to peace, release steam and get your dose of attention. But the nagging is just one of the steps to solve the problem. And if you complain about solitude for years, then, maybe it is worth doing something else - well, in addition to sobbing on friendly kitchens? The resource of sympathy is limited, remember this.
Come on feedback
If you are lucky and wonderful spill around you, they will all try one way or another to help you. We will drive with a pretty guy, advise the gold vacancy or a competent psychologist, or at least call the full panama of the valuable tips.
So do not be lazy to tell them for this thanks - or at least somehow provide FIDBEK if their efforts gave the result. To know that you really helped someone - it is amazing, damages, it is an ethical orgasm. Call, write to the messenger, send a letter to pigeon mail and thank you for acquaintance, recommendation and advice. Or at least say - "Vasyan, thank you for heard then, I really easily." Friends deserve it.
