I will never tell my children that I love them equally. Because it is not. I have a sister, and in my childhood Mom often told us that she loves us equally, but I always tried to cut her on the fact that she loves my sister more - or less - than me.
She poured more juice (I measured). Her birthday was much of my grandiose. On the other hand, Mom hugged me longer and more often boasted by my good behavior. It was not just a daily competition, but a real nightmare.
Now I am my mother myself, and I do not want my children too competed. Therefore, I tell them that I love them in different ways, like different people.
Do not compare the success
Never say: "Here is your sister, everything has already dared, and you are still sitting over a plate." I would like to mention their achievements - great, but do not compare. Children, like all people, like, when their successes notice and do not like when they are shaped.Encourage manifestation of individuality - in everything
Let them do what they want, with their room or clothing. Let them be interested in anywhere - and do not even dare even hint that their passion for dinosaurs or hip-hop is nonsense and nonsense. Ultimately, you want them to grow confident and have not been afraid of being themselves.
Led but not chill
When the situation is glowing, I really want to jump and start to understand who is right here, who is to blame. Instead, give them the opportunity to resolve the conflict yourself. In extreme cases, let each side speak, not allowing the opponent, and let them find a peaceful decision. Yes, the practice will be required. But to negotiate without the participation of Mom is a very useful skill.Hang labels with mind
When you say that Vasya is a sophisticated child, and Masha is an excellent label, you hang labels. Even if you say something good. Masha is an excellent study? Cool, so you give the rest of the children to understand that the post of excellence is already busy, and they will have to really try to shove the Masha with a pedestal. The only shortcuts you have the right to hang out is a "good sister" and "attentive brother." There is no harm here, except for the benefit.
Replenish their "bank account of attention"
Having all the offspring at least 10-15 minutes a day - let this time be only it. Nor brothers, nor sisters, no other relatives, no phone in your hands, nor the telecale - only you alone. Children are desperate to compete for attention. While the child knows that you are 100% it - it does not need manipulation and intrigues to drag the blanket to your side.
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