Did you ever see a culinary maniac? He has red eyes, because at night he leads culinary wars on the Internet and teaches belligers to understand the varieties of turmeric. He has fingers in burns and cuts - production injuries arising from the fact that no one taught him to keep the knife in his hands, and he wants to quickly and effectively cut celery as in culinary video. He is nervous and irritable, because everyone else is either believed in his talents, or they simply interfere with him to sacrass in the kitchen. Well, in general - you are only in Vicknie - he creates masterpieces, which then other people will eat!
Understand how the bruschetta penetrated you, is actually very simple.
Stage first
You completely refuse semi-finished products, dumplings and harmful chips. From now on, your households will have only tasty and healthy food from raw foods prepared by classic recipes. And desserts too. Homemade look at you with bad squares and populates.
Stage Two
You cease to perceive cooking, as a certain side case, with which you need to be delighted. In 20 minutes, leave the chicken and vegetables on the griddle - well, what is the flight?
Not. You start to crichat in the kitchen. You expel out of all outsiders from it. Drink there for an hour with superfluous. Or even two.
And it does not matter that the resulting chicken with vegetables still turns out. This is a very nasty chicken, firstly, and secondly, she is no longer a paslency steroid broiler, but even even stegu in Gascon.
Stage Third
You have a "corona dish." And this is not a stew in Gascon. Not. You went further. This is a real multistage pen, each step of preparation of which requires the preliminary step. Some Russian veal in creamy sauce.
Sauce is preparing in a separate saucepan. In order to prepare it, you need to have a pre-prepared proper chicken broth. And in order to weld the right broth, it is vital to dive (!) Chicken core in the oven.
Normal man in this place will begin to swell by Bulch. Because he would not be to "doubt", but rather to devour lowland, and devour "straight here." But who does it talk about normal people? In the past weekend, you dried up a dozen cores from steroid broilers, froze 10 liters of proper broth, and therefore ready to anyone.
Stage Fourth
You understand that life is over, well, or, in any case, the gap lives: your correct broth from steroid broiler is actually wrong. Broiler did not harm, and it is also obvious, as the fact that you did not find a broiler of the broiler.
Alas, they go out somewhere in Gasconia or Provence. Maximum that can be found in Russia - a cheerful village nurser, similar to the Olympic champion's corpse. Zhiliyshi, and full of calm dignity.
The fact that you will have to cook the Olympic champion to the end of your days, does not add optimism, but it has to come to terms with him: Gasko though it is beautiful, but far away.
Stage Fifty
In the kitchen, you hang a book shelf for culinary books. Recipes from the Internet are no longer satisfied with you, and it's inconvenient to keep a laptop or tablet on the kitchen table - he is always falling asleep with flour. Your library is represented by editions of two types - culinary books for which you are preparing (most often they look like a well-rooted parchment for baking) and beautiful culinary books. Beautiful culinary books play in your life the same role as the German pornographic magazine under the pillow in an eighth grader.
Bruschetta in the facetas on a linen towel, playing a bun on a wooden plate, as if by challenged with flour, thoughtful smile of fried Sibas, penetrating you from somewhere from under the "twig" of Rosemary. Mmm ... By the way, isn't it to start shooting Sybas?
Stage Fifty
It's time! You take pictures of food at all stages of her cooking. Pre-placing the linen towel, of course. And post the Internet. In secret, you think that in a short time to publish your own culinary book.
Alas, as soon as Sybas floats into a big world, you with amazement you find that on the Internet there are such as you are dofiga. And for some reason idiots. And yes. They also have linen towels. Aaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!!!
Stage sixth
Desperate to learn something new on the net (well, what can Idiots with Sybasami, are you going to go to the master class to the living chef. A lively cook (usually a beautiful fat bearded man or a wrinkled intelligent woman) communicates with you politely, but cold. In particular, it proposes to learn to keep a knife in their hands.
Neighbors are also the snobs. You are insufficient cooks for them. In particular, because you do not have your butcher (how to live without your butcher?!) And you buy vegetables in the supermarket. Thank God that you had enough mind not to tell about the boiled corpse of the champion.
Stage seventh
Slightly offended, you perceive constructive criticism with dignity and you begin to pay well-deserved attention to the purchase of products. You find butchers. It is clear, two, because Muslims and Liver can be bought from Muslims, and pork and beef for steaks - in honest Russians from the Lipetsk region. The appropriate greens is found in Baba Zina trading at the Metro Ryazan Avenue. Tomatoes? Well, it is quite difficult with this, in winter, in the winter, no one for which it does not pass its source of edible tomatoes. Search by itself.
At the same time, the butcher of Ahmed trades on the Izmailovsky market, the butcher Sergeyvanich - in Cheremushkinsky, the tomato trader - no, we do not say where he trades. Shopping now takes all day. Cooking - two or three hours hour. Are homemade? No, they silently eat in McDonalds.
Stage of the Eighth: Success
You all turned out. You are a culinary maniac. You are preparing complex multistage dishes almost every day. You know how to distinguish a red lentil from yellow, ziru from the Kummin and Oregano from the Basilica. You lead a culinary blog, and every day hundreds of grateful readers subscribe to you, and dozens of angry and with curses are unsubscribed. You really intend to publish a culinary book and, perhaps, open your restaurant. Homemade enter the kitchen on tiptoe, only when you invite them to the table.
But there is one thing that you do not know about. And we are forced to open your eyes.
Somewhere in your apartment, a small portable refrigerator is hidden in which just food is stored.
Only TC-S.