Live with memory like fish Dori. Anonymous story of women with neurological violations
When I looked with the children's cartoon "Searches for Nemo", the funny moments were, perhaps, those in which Dori fish appeared - a cute and scattered creature with the shortest memory in the world. I did not occur to me that less than ten years was still a very young woman, I myself will become Dori Fish. Will me be funny? Often. Because only laughter saves from madness and despair, when your world collapsing - if you take for axioms that our perception of the world is our world.
Probably, I would not even remember those days that I spent with serious memory violations (they were left now, but not at all in such an impressive scale), if, as many modern women, did not have the habit of blog.
I have a lot of closed and very short records. If I first liked to describe the events of the day, tying them into a single essay, or choose the brightest and serve it as a bike, anecdote, now I almost snatched your smartphone from my pocket to quickly sketch or two about something that I don't I wanted to forget only because I understood: from these little things and there is my life, and it will be terribly in five years I don't even remember how my youngest daughter joked or the eldest excitedly shared impressions from the film, once an excited me. As a cat threw another Cotto trick, Utily me. As I came across my teenage drawing and managed to remember that the scene is depicted on it - the scene from my then family life - and acutely felt that I live long, despite the frequent feeling that my life would be born and ends every second.
I did not happen to any inevitable disease, destroying personality. Fortunately. An injury and their own carelessness happened to me after her. At first my head was spinning, I became scattered and forgetful. Where did I put the key just? - A good start, it does not foreshadow anything, because such an absentmission happens to many. Where is my tea? I wanted tea, I did tea? Or did I make tea on another day and forgot? Where is the fucking a mug with tea, where I have already searched for her look and where else is not? - This is how the madness begins to sound, especially when repeated time after time.
Soon we all found that my scatleton and forgetfulness makes me a little dangerous for myself and others. You can not put the kettle and move away or climb the bath and move away. No internet is not necessary to forget about them immediately. If there is no one at home, and you really want hot, you put the kettle and sit in front of the stove, looking at him carefully. Because the book, smartphone, sewing and look in the window can make you forget about the kettle.
The electric fuel would not stand the wiring, but for a while the problem solved the teapot with a whistle. I do not remember how and when, unfortunately, but the whistle turned out to be broken. Maybe he is tired of me. Moreover, what helped not so much. I often did not react to the whistle, because I did not remember what this sound means.
I already ate today?
Do I need to eat?
Why am I standing in front of the refrigerator? I probably wanted to check how much food is at home.
Why am I standing in the kitchen in front of the refrigerator? I already looked inside or not? I already did something and should leave or do I need to do something?
Nothing deadly. Nothing frightening like hallucinations. Nothing painful. I just find myself inside a strange quest. And still forget to eat or wash or how many years I have.
What I just wanted to record a blog to never forget?
Sometimes I read my blog for a long time in advance, those records that were older and longer. I opened my life for myself.
Sometimes I remembered her without problems. And about eating too. And everything seemed to be fine.
"I'm not Marina, I'm Katya," this daughter reminds that I appeal to. Marina is the second. Probably, they often remind me of it. Or everything just started? In any case, girls do not look annoyed. I love my girls very much. They help me very much, more than you can expect from two emotional teenagers without the previous experience of care for, for example, grandmother with dementia.
I still love to watch movies. I look at him with children. The film is very interesting, but I hardly hold attention and confuse characters all the time. "Who is it? Why did he say that? Where did her gun come from? " "I am constantly asking, and children are patiently answer me, so the film does not cease to be interesting, although the next day I can not tell him. They say emotions help remember something. Well, not always.
And all this time I need to work. Not very much, for the main employee - a husband. But it is necessary, the family budget is such a thing. I write texts at a computer. I take someone from the children and discuss the topic of text. I pursuerly telling what I would like to write. So it is necessary, because when I sit down to write, I won't remember how the text was thinking. Some of the children sits near and reminds me. Then it deducts the repeats of the thought, which I am now suffering permanently. Sometimes just prints for me while I'm trying to dictate, because the abutation is very much preventing me to perceive the text and recruit it.
The main thing is not to forget to send. Why do I look into the folder "Submitted" by the way?
My children are a miracle. My children are my life. I'm not talking about feelings, not pathetic slogans. I'm not knowing about, as if I continued to be former life without them.
Let's go to the store. Mom, we wanted to take kefir. Mom, we have already taken bread. Mom, look at how funny put banks, the slices of titles add up to an indecent word! Mom, you put money in the left upper pocket.
Let's go to the evening poems. We went to listen to bards. We went to visit. Mom, Olesya lives on Tushinsky. What station is now? Paveletskaya. What station is now? Novokuznetskaya. Do you remember where we need to go? Yes, mom, I remember. Two stops. Through one stop. Mom, go.
Maybe the matter is in memory, like Dori fish, but I do not remember that at least once, answering these endless questions, the children said irritated or viciously.
Mom, sing. Now four days. This is a cake. Want some tea? Mom, this is tea. You wanted tea. Singing the cake, so he. I will drink tea with you.
I tell a funny story from my childhood. Interestingly, it seems to me, or she came out folding?
Mom, I think you wanted to raise things. You wanted to be combed. You wanted to see with us a movie. Let's wear the second boot, and then go.
I'm in my mind. I do not make bad things. I know that I see the items in front of you. I have no crazy ideas. It does not seem to me that the devils chase me. Lord, yes I'm fine! I just need a little help. Many people need a little help.
There were also reminders on a mobile, and countless stickers on the computer. I told himself with myself, so as not to lose my thought, I woke up everything, mumbled almost every minute. I restored the events in my brain on the setting around, like a detective, unwinding a complex riddle. I have learned the key things to leave strictly on key places or continue to keep in your hand, no matter how uncomfortable I was at the moment or another. The glasses lay in a red case, a smartphone - in a red case, a passport and money - in a red cosmetic bag, because the red rushed into the eyes and reminded himself. But most of all the tricks helped me people. A little help gave me a very, a lot of life.
Where did I have such a Mike? I bought it or should you give the hostess? Why is the coffee table no longer to the left of the couch? Can we put it back? The table is rearranged to the outlet, because it is necessary to charge a laptop, smartphones, a battery lamp. Why not a table on the left? Okay, let him stand there. Where is the table? Table, it seemed to me, we rearranged it somewhere. Where did you get the extension player from us near the couch? I almost stumbled.
Katya, go for the dishes. Katya, go for the dishes. Katya, go for the dishes. I was already waving. I already soap her. Okay, I will mine, what am I doing then?
I stand on the street with girlfriends and sow songs in honor of some holiday, and it turns out only to shout on time for a few words, but no one overthrows me. We eat in a cafe. I have a wonderful girlfriend. Sister, drink your tea. He is in front of you. I spend you. Do me in me. Why go to the subway one if you can company? You do not want to wash your head? Let's go, here's a towel. Pey tea, he is in front of you.
Now tea is on my right hand from me, near the keyboard. I did it myself. I remember the date of birth of daughters. I'm still a little scattered, but I seem to have always been a bit scattered? I do not remember exactly. At least, it was from my problems that were solved and the process is reversible. Lucky.
In general, I just wanted to tell you about how to be a fish Dori. First, it's not entirely scary when you have a really loving family and really loving friends. Secondly, it is true that is ridiculous, just a scope for a lad. But without blog entries, I can not remember why.
From the editorial board: if your relative more often began to drop things, ask questions on the movie or all the time to forget about something, try to show it a neurologist. And do not shout at him, please, it is not specifically.
The text is provided by an anonymous author specifically for PICS.RU
