What can I learn about the family, looking at the dog and her relationship with the owners? More than might think, as I learned the blogger Sofya Baskin.
I witnessed this story when she worked on the dissertation. To participate in one of the experiments, we invited the owners with newly acquired puppies, asked them a lot of questions, tested a puppy and then periodically visited the dog in the family.Only the owner listened, but not the mistress
Senbernar's puppy behaved like Senbernar: it was a big shaggy slaughter, in moderation lazy, moderately smart. Talking with its owners of Sasha and Masha, we learned that they started the dog a few months after the birth of a child.
The traverse site went with the whole family. Masha was engaged in the group, Sasha - with a child in his arms - followed them and loudly criticized his wife. His puppy listened significantly better, but the spouse believed that it was why Masha should be engaged in a playground with a dog ...
When a good-natured, but the stubborn dog was fulfilled a year, in his behavior there was one unpleasant tendency - he literally did not give the hostess and step step, constantly jumped on her, making cages. What had to endure her, I appreciated, visiting them, and hurried to retire: speaking as a researcher, he was glad to put someone else's dog. Now I think that in vain. Since at that time Senbernar weighed 65 kg, Masha walked all in bruises and abrasions, but could not do anything.
She tried to face PSA, step him on his hind legs, but it either did not help, or led to the fact that he began to growl, and Masha preferred to avoid the dog: hide behind the furniture. In the presence of her husband, nothing like this happened. Therefore, Sasha believed that the wife, firstly, is lying, because he wants to get rid of the dog, and secondly, she herself is to blame for everything, as it plows the ps. Meanwhile, in the meantime, Masha had to spend whole days with a pet and take him with him on walks with the child, because, staying at home alone, the dog was crawled and gnawed furniture ...
When the owner went out, stayed with the hostess
I do not know exactly what reason, but the spouses broke up. The husband was left of the family, and the dog stayed with Masha. At first she wanted to give it away, but it turned out to be quite difficult to do: an adult large dog is not easy to attach. All she succeeded, it's not for long to send Senbernar to friends, where he was kept on the tie.
Forced (as she thought - temporarily) continue to take care of the dog, Masha began to handle the dog more demanding and, just, to lock in one of the rooms. In addition, she had to return to work, and the dog gradually got used to stay at home alone.
Four months later, Masha decided to leave the dog at home. And unexpectedly, the husband wished to return. Seeing the owner, the dog, never biting the hostess, pounced on Sasha. He suddenly saw instead of the usual respect of a large grueling dog and ... Saved. Senbernar grabbed him slightly, then let go, but began to follow Sasha relentlessly, constantly drunk. The dog rushed again to the owner when he tried to lie on the sofa.
The situation was tragic: Sasha had to sleep on the floor mat. Everything ended in a fight: the dog bites, Sasha beat her with his legs and fists, and finally, both were separated, leaning and swearing. Masha heleraged her husband's wound and calmed the dog. Fortunately, the child at this time was at the grandmother. After the fight that occurred, the conflict between Sasha and the dog was exhausted, and she no longer ruined and did not bite.
What happened?
We discussed this case with a psychologist twisted Vitalyvnoy Nekrovna. She paid attention primarily to the fact that Sasha bought a dog just a few months after the birth of a child:
"Everyone knows how parents fear for their little children are afraid: infections, the need to almost sterile purity around, restricting the contacts of the child with other people and even more so animals - all these natural conditions created by adults for kids.
But Sasha, apparently, did not particularly participate in the care of the child, did not take responsibility for him plus, naturally, he received less attention from his wife during this period and therefore wanted to acquire a dog. Perhaps he unconsciously hoped that it would distract him from a sense of guilt before Masha for reluctance to help her, and maybe it will attract some part of his wife's attention to him, and she entertained himself ... some children's whim without analyzing the development of events. It is not known whether Masha resisted this, but, judging by the development of history, then did not resist. "
Puppy, of course, is not a human child. The only problem is that he does not know about it. He is bought at that age when the mother stops feeding him with milk, but he still remains in the parental flock on the rights of a cub.
Finding into the family of new owners, he manifests a set of child behavior: invulsively sculits, tries to follow the people who are more familiar to him and is trying to achieve regular bodily contact with this person. The owner, in turn, feeds the puppy, cares about his comfort and purity, reacts to the calls of the baby and strokes from time to time, that is, it goes in the same vein as a dog's dog.
In the family, where the puppy and the baby appear almost at the same time, the interests of the kids are constantly intersect, because they need almost the same thing. It should be noted that the human cub and dogs are usually tightly tied to each other, but adults rarely manage to avoid claims like "your puppy", "your child".
The four-legged easily read the human body language and try to stay out of the owners who protect them - most often it is the younger sister of his wife or husband and only occasionally - a husband. But conflicts are replaced by reconciliation - the hosts are combined, and the dog turns out to be "inappropriate." That and the case of the changing behavior of the beloved owner makes Psa feel that he lives in an unpredictable world. It inevitably leads to the development of problem behavior in a puppy, but in the case of Senbernar, a slow, weakly absorbed temperament partly masks the nervousness of the animal.
V.V. Nekrylova:
- Consider an episode where a young father is located on a training ground with a child in his arms, and a young mother is engaged in dog training. From the side it looks somehow unusual, because much harmonious picture would look around the opposite: Mom is engaged in the baby, and dad - a dressing ... I can assume that Sasha felt uncertain, being in this position, so I constantly criticized my wife loudly, demonstrating my departure And thereby asserting. Yes, Sasha said that he wanted the puppy to listen and Masha, but let's not forget that at the same time he knew and felt that the dog had chosen his owner. Everything else took place only to increase their own self-esteem before his wife and in front of them.
The puppy in this situation saw the screaming owner and submoldly carrying this hostess. The dog refused to obey Masha, it caused the anger of her spouse, directed again to his wife, and she lowered his hands. Thus, the owner encouraged the puppy to resist the hostess, because from the point of view of the dog, the one who demanded from the dog obedience was punished, and not a pet himself.
If Sasha wanted a dog to listen to Masha with him, he would duplicate the teams - came up and every time she sought them from a puppy. Or did not present in the classroom, if I wanted the dog to listen to Masha in his absence. Dogs are not stupid: Senbernar would quickly realize that, who would have given the team from the owners, would still have to obey.
V.V. Nekrylova:
- Causes doubt that Sasha sincerely believed that his wife was lying, talking about the peculiar behavior of a dog that brought her not only the inconvenience, but also physical damage. After all, she could not hide the bruises and abrasions, paying attention to which could be worried. All this once again confirms the reluctance of Sasha change the situation. Keeping it, he kept his superiority. And the dog heard, and the wife suffered, being unable to cope with the dog!
Sadka on the owners makes most dogs, and everything you need to cope with this problem, it is every time to prohibit them. Masha physically lacked forces to introduce PSA behavior into a certain framework. In such cases, the pet holds in the collar with a leash or in a halter not only on the street, but also at home - then even physically weak (for example, an elderly) owner has the ability to keep the dog.
As a last resort, for the four-legged buy and install right in the apartment, Wolter - gradually the dog can be addicted to stay quietly in the aviary within a few hours. Even one fact that the hostess decides, to attend a pet next to her in the room or not, makes it more confident in communicating with animals, and the dog tears to obey. The dog from a lot in his behavior agrees to refuse - just to be next to the owner.
Well, in the case of the above-mentioned Senbernar, the cage became a harmful habit of an active strong dog, which, including a lack of physical activity on the street, after all, a woman was walking with a small child who constantly requiring attention.
V.V. Nekrylova:
- Naturally, the conflict led to parting. It is possible that a woman with masochist inclinations and could endure it further, but Masha had another type of personality. The husband again led himself passively, leaving his wife in a difficult situation with an unmanaged dog and a small child. He practically eliminated himself from the family life. Masha had to survive, and she did it quite successfully. At first, I excluded a peculiar interference at the time of life - the dog, I found a job. Masha felt more confident that it was reflected on the relationship with Senbernar.
If the husband had returned for one and a half months, he would not find any changes in St. Bernard. But Sasha was absent for a long time, and during this time his family changed. When he returned, Senbernar perceived it as an invasion of the aliens, a stranger. Also in a flock of dogs perceive the animal, formerly a member of the group, and then left it for a long time.
If Sasha turned to a specialist, he would advise him to take PSA for a walk in the park of an hour for two or three. It would help to establish relationships with Senbernar anew, smoothing the conflict and not bringing the case to fight. In the park, where the owner is oriented better, the dog has to follow him, and the confrontation is solved more or less peacefully and calmly.
In the house, in the family, the four-legged again turns out to be drawn into a conflict between the spouses - the Nas's non-interference at the moment when the dog growls on her husband, her attempts to "calm down" the dog after the fight again put Senbernar in a mirror, but all the same ambiguity, As the one in which he has already turned out before. After the fight against explicit resistance, the dog passes to the hidden, and only gradually it can be achieved that he will again become a family dog, loving and listening to both owners.
V.V. Nekrylova:
- The return of her husband's husband in this case is not a happy completion of this story. I can assume that the attempts of domestic self-affirmation of infantile Sasha will continue. The question arises: how will the Masha respond to this? I think it will depend on many factors: how much did it change during this time, as far as she became more confident in himself and does Sasha love his family so that, finally, take responsibility for her?
Source: Blog Sophia Basic
Photos: Sophia Basque Blog, Shutterstock