Admitting, you even do not even remember exactly when it is necessary to celebrate this "damn Valentine's Day". We warn you: do not even try to deepen in the history of the ancient Roman Luprekali, the goddess of love and God of Favna, from which he originates the day of all lovers. Why not try? Because anyway your woman will tell you where what is happening. Especially pillars. This time. And the second is your logic "Cute, but why today? After all, Valentine was ... "- it will be split straight to the root. But you still can eruption with the help of our "10 ways to ignore this holiday so that no one is offended by anyone."
Slimming short-term memory loss
Take advantage of the invaluable experience of the criminal genius Walter White from the series "To all the grave", which in this way "explained" his long lack of home. Go to any closest store, even better if it is a gifting store, tend to dough and Brody with a view of Somnambula around the hall before the arrival of the militia and ambulance brigade. Do not recognize anyone, answer questions evasively, you have amnesia, do you remember? As long as the protocol is, while you go through MRI, the holiday will end, and there is a certificate from the clinic to all questions.Schrödinger gift
Universal gift that can be used not only on Valentine's Day, but also for any other holiday. Find the house of an empty box, crushed it with scotch and hand to your chief, accompanying the donation act by a brief excursion to the basics of quantum physics, on the example of the ill-fated living (or dead) Cat of the Austrian Erwin Schrödinger. Give it to choose to choose in which reality it is preferable to live - in the one where the necklace from Swarovski is lying in the box (or not).Change passport
More precisely, its name, whatever it, for Valentine. The business is troublesome, but the effect is 100%. Now this day is only yours, and therefore, everyone should give you gifts, and you are not.Stuck in elevator
You will need minimal mechanic skills, a universal strapar and a good modern elevator in which mobile, as a rule, does not catch. Understand where it has a relay elevator, closed it and do not blur until the first minute of February. Then you say that the gift was, but you had to eat it, so as not to die of hunger.Accept Islam
Islamic clergy, however, as Orthodox, refers to this holiday, to put it mildly, cool. Well, fine! Consider one of the first episodes of the "Motherland" series, in which Sergeant Brody explains his wife that he, strictly speaking, does in the garage on a prayer rug. Do you have a rug at home?Transgender method
You will need a dress, a beautiful blouse and some cosmetics - all this can be taken from your girlfriend, explaining to her that you have always felt the struggle of the male and female started, and it was today that the feminine won the top. And girlfriends, you know, do not give each other gifts for Valentine's Day or March 8, it is ridiculous. Then you can always say that you changed my mind.Sea lover
For my wife, naturally, not for yourself. This means should be resorted to any incomprehensible situation, including on the day of all lovers. Surely on this day she will look for any reason to catch up for a meeting with his cunning fitness instructor. Do not hurt, on the contrary, referring to employment to give it complete freedom of action. She will return late and, for sure, with a sense of guilt, which simply will not allow her to arrange the scene due to the fact that he was left without a gift.From the heart
Once you still have to make up for a festive gift. Buy in the meat department of the supermarket sheltered chicken hearts, packed into a beautiful box with ribbons and with the most solemn view of handing up his girlfriend. At the same time you check the strength of her nerves and the depth of feelings to you - if she stays with you after swooning, this holiday will try forever from his memory.Martian Chronicles
Recorded into the long-term program of colonization of Mars, somewhere they must write to it. This program, for sure, implies complex multi-level preparation, which includes a training cryogenic frost. Ask for the cryocentre to freeze you from February to March, and better before April - if you have to ignore the female holidays, so in full.Penalty method
Play all savings in the roulette, the residue of the "Fight Club" heroes at work in the spirit of the Heroes of the "Fight Club", join the totalitarian sect and rewrite their apartment, throw a car with keys in the ignition castle in the very criminogenic area of the city, and then, on the way home , slip and dislocate ankle. The best gift for any woman is the opportunity to regret some unhappy man.