Not so long ago, AST publisher was published the book "Love. The secrets of defrosting "Marina Commissar, better known on the blog of evolution, in which she shares about psychoalochemistry. PICS.RU publishes a fragment on the types of female freezing. And the book itself can be purchased in the company online store.
Chapter 3.5
Female frost
The reasons for the female frustration are described by one of three stories:
1) young lady with a book.
2) Lady with a dog.
3) Woman with cats.
Young lady with book
Usually it is a completely young woman. But there are older. She is not looking for any relationship at all, even avoids them. She has enough books, films and own dreams. Please note - she does not come up with so much a man. The main thing - she invents himself. And in life does not know what to do with it.
Who she is imagined there: the queen of elves, the Roman Matron, the first beauty at the court of Louis, is not important. The main thing is that her real image seems to her too boring to deal with and present it to the world. She is not so beautiful as she would like, and in general it looks different, it does not live there, not at that time and not so. She is not interested in living in his own skin, and this is her problem.
When girlfriends (or mom) tell her that it would be nice to find a guy, she sighs or wrinkles. Reluctant to look for a guy for himself as it is. And even when the guy himself is, it is reluctant to communicate. She is not interested in himself and offer guys like that does not want. Any story that will turn out in this way, it seems that it seems to her dull, squeezing, rotten. She is pleasant to live in the bodies of book heroines, sometimes in the bodies of the heroine of serial or computer games.
All these are the "young lady with a book", just more modern. It happens that the woman was not so before, even liked himself, but then somehow lost himself.
How to work on such frustration? Such a woman has few of its own supports (resources), it is infantile, which is why it runs from real life into the world of dreams, comes up with a parallel life, much more good to her (it loves it all, that is, they serve). But besides problems with resources and locus control, this is an image problem. Such a lady other than the connection of work resources, the economy and study is very important to connect the image that it is turned off at all.
She needs to look, sculpt, take what is, to build a new or cultivate from scratch. You need to get acquainted with you, you can come up with yourself, but it is important to finally get in your life such a figure as I-physical is not a soul in a box of a random body, but a physical image with its unique style, plastic and characteristic behavior. Women with described frustration shoot a movie where they do not belong to any role in general, they stand behind the camera as operators. So it is impossible, because your life is a movie and about you too.
Lady with a dog
In Chekhov's history, this heroine was married and lover began, but the essence of this frustration is that a woman is waiting for someone who will bring love and holiday to her life. Typical eternal girl, yes? Such a man is either not located, or all quickly disappointing it. Therefore, she is content with a dog and a walk with her in crowded places. Suddenly lucky?
The dog is a symbol of that devotion and that knightly relationship, which a woman is waiting for from a man. Dogs are big and strong, ready to grasp their mistress. Dogs are faithful, but still faithful. This is a symbol of a dedicated servant. It is like that woman represents a man. Well, in reality (in the reality of this woman), everyone turns out to be scams, of course. Or try to pull back more, or quickly escape, having seams it.
And they are more modes, and now it is impossible to accept this with this. The idea that she can exchange to another, delivers a lady with a dog such a pain that she does not want any relationship. She better with a dog will walk. The average degree of frustration, in contrast to the strong, in the view of others does not look like frustration, it seems to everyone that the woman is ready to join the relationship, wants, that's just no longer lucky. Well, not lucky, they do not come across, all the time they are not those.
But this is also frustration, because they do not come across at all. Someone - those, and you - not those, yes? How to go? This frustration is a border bug. Problem with control locus. Infantile Locus - a desire to convey responsibility for your life to the parent figure. Pumping resources of work and the economy helps a lot. A woman is looking for halves to take on the role of a guarding figure.
It is such women who cannot understand why a man needs if a woman earns himself, herself knows how to entertain himself. They are sure that the second person is needed in order to take on your problems, and if you decide the problems itself, no one needs. Alas. Found "daddy" will definitely be a goat or tyrant, because you are not a girl and the formula itself of such a relationship of Nisem.
You will not be able to be an obedient baby, and the baby does not happen 30-40-50 years. Search a knight, which will forget about your interests and will serve you, especially stupid. Your frustration from the fact that your goals are unrealistic. Who and why you need to serve?
You need to search for a partner with whom you will be together: 1) To rest, communicate and entertain; 2) having sex; 3) build life, it is possible to bring up children; 4) develop as individuals; 5) support each other in adversity. That's what people create couples. And not so that one performed the breadwinner and the defender of another. Everyone must feed and protect themselves and be ready if that, to support the other. That is, everyone should strive to be independent and strong, so as not to ship anyone and that the second he could rely on if that.
Woman with cats
Yes, this is the most woman who has 40 cats, because it is very strong and independent. She hate neighbors, colleagues touch her, because her clothes are in wool and has the smell of cat urine. Everyone thinks that this is its fault, but in fact 40 cats are addictation. Addiction, which arises due to blocking the love resource. Addicts all the time increase the dose, you know. So the woman who started two cats first, then the cat, and then could not stop.
Kayf from the shaggy paws is the greater, the more paws, and all the difficulties associated with the care of them (including the hatred of neighbors), the woman covers the idea that she is holy. It saves animals, protecting them from evil people. If the lady with a dog was looking for a defender, a woman with cats - a defender herself.
This type of frustration does not always look like help cats. It can find themselves other unfortunate, sometimes even hit activism and save some people from Yiga others. It is fundamentally that it is in a state of merge with someone and complete dedication. She wants to be necessary, ideally - vital. If a lady with a dog was looking for someone who would protect and feed her, a woman with cats looking for someone to feed from her hands she herself who could die without her.
Often, women with cats are obtained from ladies with dogs who realized that no one wants to feed them. They first offended, and then decided to become the breadwinters themselves, and without realizing anything about the separation of borders.
How to go? This is the same border bug, just on the other hand. Problem with control locus. Hypercontrol. If the lady with a dog lacks independence and awareness that only a strong and independent person can build a beautiful relationship, truly love and be loved, then a woman with cats lacks respect for foreign personal boundaries.
A person really can not be assigned as cats, you can not multiply your power, as taking new and new kittens from the garbage, but love and has nothing to do with this. Love a person without respecting his personal borders - to eat it. Or feed yourself, which is no better. No need to eat man or feed. With it you need to build a beautiful subject relationship.
