Very often, it is not even necessary to be "MGIMO FINISHD" to understand that the translator is very "lost in translating" and created his own reality. And she can be quite bizarre!
We collected bright examples of such parallel realities in professional translation communities and forums. Injoy!Scary to imagine
The transfer scientific article explains the people that the snakes were before there were legs. For example, they write - they found a skeleton with a terrible fossil snake "with six long legs." The people who could not believe it (not in the presence of legs as such, but in their length and quantity), climbed to look for sources - it turned out Six Feet Long. (six feet long).
Miracles of medicine
"Corollary by the body" is a wonderful series, I won't be able to see it in the original. The other day he was having fun, hearing in translation: "But earlier, injections from rabies did in the stomach!"Scary weapon - pan!
It was in the dishwasher in Spain. The store sold very beautiful things of the author's work. On the price tag under the pots the signature was in Spanish, Italian and Russian: "OLLAS De Fuego Directo", "Pentole Fuoco Diretto", " Shoots for shooting straight entry ". The third month laugh, remembering ... (In fact, "dishes for open fire."
Excited hotel
I work in the sphere of tourism. Periodically bump into translational flashes. Two pears of the last week just stitched. About the services of the hotel: "Funny activity outside you are waiting for you." About the long-awaited opening of the hotel: "General Manager ... said:" Every day we feel how excitement increases around us. " Yep. I suppose that on the opening day of the hotel, the excitation will reach such an extent that the ceremony will turn into the final scene of the film "Perfume".Virginity is dangerous
Translation of the work of Ursula Le Guin: "Married women Angea is only occasionally, in extreme need, sat on the winged horses, and Semli after marriage, too, never left the walls of Hallan; And now, sitting in a high saddle, she again felt herself with a teenager, a violent virgin, rushing with the northern wind over the fields of Kyryen on semi-adhesive winged horses. " There is a translation closer to the original, but what is it, right, boring: "... sitting in a high saddle, OA re-felt herself with a girl with a brown varnish." Can a girl with a violent moral rival with a violent virgin?
I ask Pan, pregnant
Some movie in TV. Russian subtitles: " Pan-trogot . Female. She is pregnant. " Well, all, Pan-Panov, the cave gentry, arrived. Naturally, the next frame is chimpanzees, the scientific name Pan Troglodytes.
Miracle breeding
Looking at the series NCIS, season 4, in Russian translation. Braving Israeli mentions the organization "Zack". She is asked that this is for the office, and Ziva explains: "These are Orthodox Jews that collect parts of the dead." These are the religious mutants ...help yourself
I read Lois McMaster Budjold (translated), about some regular cosmic Odyssey Miles Forkosigan. Description of the banquet, Fursca Cinema-Domino: "Miles came up to the table and helped himself from the bowl, from which all guests were buried."
(One of the comments: "After all the same Miles in one of the translations in front of the buffet checked, whether his zipper was fastened on a tie - no" help to himself "no longer surprises."
Seven seasons and eggs
The main heroine of one book in the translator somehow put on the "semison" coat. Weakly call seven seasons to which it was calculated? And for breakfast in her family there were bacon and "roasted eggs" ... Rzhal aloud. By the way, somewhere met and such breakfast as "bacon with eggs". Excellent definition for the perfect husband! :)By the way about eggs
According to NTV, the news showed a plot about some kind of supernya robbery of the museum in London. Included a fragment of the reporting of the Air Force. There is a policeman there and says: "Unfortunately, We Didn't Have Enough Manpower to Apprehend Them ..." That is, there was not enough. The translator has his own opinion: "Unfortunately, we did not have enough male strength to capture them!"
Eggplant Mont Amor
Very playful, it turns out, it is possible to translate the names of still lifes (Still Life). For example, "Still Life with Crows" - "I still live with the corners", and "Still Life with EggPlant" - " Quiet life with eggplant“.
He also sings
One Rusich, a little knowledgeable Serbian, decided to across the Hermitage Excursion to Serbian tourists. When they reached the clock "Peacock" in the pavilion hall, as will be in Serbian "Peacock", she flew out from his head. By analogy, it was organized: Peacock - a bird of chicken family - a chicken, therefore, there will be a beacon in a male way. The "beacon" unfolds the tail and sings, "it turned out in the end. First, the Serbs fell, the next day the entire Serbian department fell - the word "beacon" turned out to be the word of three letters that they write in the fences.The biggest and delicious
History about Hebrew Courses for newcomers. The girl prepared a mini report about olives. And "olives" in Hebrew is very similar to "members". And here she tells (and does not understand why the teacher slips on the floor) the following: "Members are green and dark, they grow in Spain, in Greece and other southern countries ... But the largest and tasty - in Israel!"
Boy, girl ...
Philip Dick, "Man in a High Castle": "It was not a military, not from those who are interested in a row, coarse men with greedy peasant friends, who ... fill cheap nightclubs, whose walls are hung with photographs of blondes not the first youth, clamping between wrinkled fingers Nipples of flab breasts ... "Blonde or blond - for a translator, like in that joke, no difference!Van, Tu, Fries ... Bothiful!
Good advice
Pearl from "Home Alone 2". Situation: One of the two gangsters, long-grade, "sticks" to the bag of a passing beauty, and she cuts into a physiognomy. The second he says: "Serves You Right!" ("So you need!") Translation for the scene: "Use the right hand!"Tell your friend
From the movie. Two men enter the bar, and one says: "For me - Beer and for My Friend - Jim Beam". Translator requires: "Beer to me and my friend Jim Bima!"
A little funny
DJ on the radio two times in a row during the week translated the song Cheryl Crowe "All Fun" so Wanna Do Is Have some fun "so:" Everything I want to do is slightly funny. "The dog could grow
In the article on the economy: " Marginal fees grew by 20 percent. " Curiously, where the dachshunds - marginals are found, and what they feed them there ...
(Marginal Tax - Maximum Tax Bet.)
You can not give birth
The protagonist of the film, the teacher (performed by Denis Hopper), enters into an intimate relationship with his student. Scene: They go on the car, the girl tells him that pregnant. Hooker Hopper stops the car, they come out. Teacher in shock. The girl leans to the hood and, smiling, says: "I'm Just Kidding" ("kidding"). The translator "comforts" the hero of her mouth: "I just face the child."Burned at work
Watched when broadcasting the movie "Robocop" on the first CT channel. One of the directors of the company takes hostage to the head of the enterprise - in the presence of a police robot. Robocop states that he cannot harm the corporation employee. After that, the chef suddenly shouts everyone surprisingly: "You burned !!!" - And then suddenly Robocop, universal joy, kills the criminal to death, despite the only mentioned instructions! Alas, translators were unfamiliar to the word "dismissed" (Fired) ...
Baba from Viza
A member of one reality show listened to the song Bob Marley "No Woman, No Cry", taped and translated: "No women - no tears."
Optimistic option
The classmate translated the text from English, and the words of Mourning and Bier instead of "Wall, Sorry" and "Coffin", translated as "morning" and "beer". And instead of the fact that the deceased and lying in the coffin was grieved, she turned out that in the morning he had a hangover because of beer!Jenny Big Snake
Colombo enters the room to a young girl and wants to talk with her. And then something funny happens. Jenny's girl (probably, from embarrassment at the sight of Colombo) begins as Indian Chingachguk, talk about himself in the third person: "Jenny will answer." It remains only to add "Hao!", And you can invite Goyko Mitich to this role. And the correct translation is much more boring, of course: "I want to ask you a few questions, Miss Jenny." - "You can just Jenny." ("Jenny Will Do".)
So who are you, Dumbledore!
Michael Gambon in Top Gear: "I am Dumbdledore ..." non-viable translation from Discovery Russia: " I am a stupid door ...“
Illustrations: shutterstock