5 things about which you at least once need to talk to your child

There are things that one day must be discussed with your children, directly or indirectly. Because the bad idea is to leave the child without your support and protection, and pretend that there is no problem - often means to leave a child with a problem alone.

Here are five things, without talking about which to do - make everything worse.

Death

In preschool age, the child learns that we are all mortal. And he. And dad with mom. And maybe the grandfather will die soon, but everyone pretends that nothing happens. Avoiding conversations about death is a direct path to the appearance of strange phobias. For example, a child can begin to suffer insomnia, so as not to die in a dream, or with a shudder passing down the street past the high buildings, because it will seem to him that they are about to collapse.

Bad way: present death as something fundamentally incredible, "how to fall asleep and not wake up"; to famously say "everything will be cleaned, what to talk about it"; Kill in front of a child aquarium fish.

Good way: To talk about how the loss is experiencing, as we keep the memory of ancestors, as a person continues on earth and what to do if we know about the close death of a relative.

Read well and see: Kim Fouse Oxone "As a grandfather became ghost," Angela Naidti "My grandfather was a cherry", for teenagers - movies like "Wonderland", "thief of books" and "Big Fish".

Sexy security

It is useless to speak the child "If you rape you, it will be bad, do not let yourself rape." It is useless to be silent (and dangerous) too. The child should know where and how he is entitled to concern only parents and doctors who need to hug or kiss or kiss them well, and who do not need (and should not be doubtful, whether no one is polite), and finally, no one has the right to do.

In addition, it is always worth repeating the usual safety rules: do not go anywhere, without making sure that the relatives know how to find you, for example, or do not agree to sit in the car to show the way.

Shy to call organs and actions with their names? Do not be afraid to use euphemisms, if you are sure that the child will understand them. Special attention is paid to the fact that it is unacceptable to hurt with their actions in secluded places, but if there is no pain, and you are confused - something also goes wrong, it is necessary to stop.

Bad way: Speak so streamlined that the child will not understand anything at all, or to show on the doll so in detail that he will stay to himself a phobia; Name things in an adult, without making sure that all the terms teenager understands exactly; To say that the whole thing is in a good or bad behavior of the child.

Good way: Explain the concept of personal borders and how in different ways we will let me with different people; Remember that too intimate actions not only with the child cannot be produced, but he himself should not do them, because it means to harm others.

Read well and see: Marie Vabbes "I thought you were my friend," for teenagers - the film "Cute bones."

Alone at home

In case the adults disappeared in an unknown direction - or in a known one, but it is clear that there is no sense to wait for them from there, because the food has ends - the child should know who to ask for help and how to help it, if he is locked in the house / Apartment. For example, very rarely helps screams at random, but a call to the police (if there is a phone) or the flooding of the apartment (if the police do not want to believe the child voice) will help much better than screams.

Bad way: To say that you are instructing in case of your death under a dump truck - plus the phobia is not needed.

Good way: Explain that sometimes an accident happens to people and they find themselves in the hospital unconscious, and then instruct.

Read well and see: Different funny books and films about children living a few days or years alone, and discuss why their behavior winnings only in comedy.

Alarm code

If your child can gain at a request or order and demand long explanations, or you assume that you can get into a dangerous situation, develop special verbal and signals that will make it clear that right now is an emergency case.

We work out from time to time the situation in the game form, and the child should know that now it is training that, in case of what, understand: We are not talking about the game.

It is not worth abuse in everyday alarm. Do you remember the story about the boy who shouted the "wolves"?

Explain at the same time the rule "one beats, the other runs." If one (and it is necessarily an adult) remained to delay the attackers and pull the time, the second (child) does not build hero from myself, because it can easily destroy these both. Hears the order "Run!" - Runs, if necessary and maybe - hides, so there is a chance that he will cause help and both will save.

Bad solution: Too long or frequently used phrase, gesture.

Good decision: Short quote, number, gesture, requiring only one hand. It is important that the word must be, and the gesture, in case the child does not see you or will not hear.

Good to see: For teenagers - the film "Leon".

Blackmail

In many situations, children are influencing, because they are under the blackmail, which is given to them so that the situation can be done much worse than the one in which the child will fall, chamber of law.

Talk to the child to make sure that he knows: in all extreme situations you are on his side and first of all punish the offender. Warn about the danger of the accumulation of the compromising, when it is a little blackmail.

Bad way: The promise to kill a blackmail, the child can be frightened for you.

Good way: Explain that every force and power can be found opposing strength and power. Even if you are not very confident about this, the main thing is that the child thought so so. In extreme cases, you can actually do not revenge, but run away with the diet in a shock.

Good to see: For adolescents, the films "Child of Darkness" and "Cyber Terror".