On Friday evening, it's time to relax and curse office slavery to the seventh knee. No, we certainly love our work very much. But, sorry, not on Friday night. Gathered the most stupid phrases of customers, having heard that, you can immediately wear a hat from a foil and ask for a cosmologist to Jeanne Hasanovna.
"You're in this professional, I completely trust your opinion!"
Well, of course! How wrong! Each your step will be tough criticism and comments from the series: "I showed your layout with my second sister-designer - he categorically did not like it! We must remake everything! Urgently!"
"We have long been on the market and know our target audience!"
Yes, so all the texts advertising and layouts manager will show the Chief Accountant (her grandson at the philologist studies). And indeed, the more people and opinions, the better the product will be! You, by the way, will affect the open text (and about the grandson, and about the opinions). Well, after 125,000 final edits, the layout will go away, finally, to the head, who will bring him back with the words: "What is this @ # $% ^?!"
"We need a quality product!"
Further, as a rule, it does the meaningful pause, meaning that the quality product must be granted in a short time (maybe even yesterday) and for free. Well, then, of course, it turns out that your ideas about quality do not coincide with the client's opinion on this.
"It will be easy for us! I love to write myself! "
Run, Forrest, Run! And do not look around! This means this means a hundred quadrillion of stupid edits, after which you will curse the day when I defended my candidate on the Russian literary language and in general the fact that you have a profile education, you will be shy to lure.
"I do not like!"
Why? BECAUSE. Point. Without explanation. You are a professional. Guess yourself. You still need to explain everything.
"We pay you at all!"
Well, here without comment. Actually fucked in all the poses for money prostitutes. And we are not them. And at 9 am Sundays do not need to call for mobile calls.
"Well, the price you lomit! I have been working in this area for a long time and know the order of prices! "
You can, but not with us. Cheaper and better, probably, too, somewhere, but also not with us. No, the address will not tell, the advance will not refund.
"Let me call you and the prejuitive edit!"
Not. Let's in writing. So that it was not the next item.
"Why did you do it at all?"
See the item above. We warned you: only in writing.
"We are ready to quickly send you our comments!"
Deceived fool. They, actually, if you do not know, still 2 (!!!) projects in addition to you. And more English courses corporate for three hours during the day. Lunch, too, no one canceled. And meetings, of course! Therefore, edits you will receive one or twice a day at best. If the project is urgent - once every two or three days and every time five minutes before the end of the working day. Verified.
"Do you yourself think about this project? You like?"
Fair? You stopped thinking about what you like, after the fifth letter with urgent edits at 20.50 on Friday. And in general, you are not their target audience. Here you like Dali. And their target audience Stas Mikhailov. That is, in general incomparable spheres, do you understand? So what's the point of developing a discussion? No correct. But you tactfully answer. You are a professional. You know how it is necessary.
"It seems to me that everything is in fonts!"
Sure! Let's play fonts and juggle headlines. You are therefore working in a pair with a designer-former circus artist. In general, both of what is called, were born in sawdust and accidentally behind their circus when he was on tour. Now it is trampled than it fell. You think, maybe back to tigers, eh?
"You see, everything is fine in the text, but there is no dynamics in this word. And it should cut, understand? "
To Mayakovsky all. Or to Vladimir Ilyich. The slogans are not to us. We do not know how.
"Thank you for the layout! I liked everything very much! We here, however, made an alternative version in Photoshop. Let's take it as a basis. Pictures we took from Yandex. Welcome or send yourself or send? "
Everything is fine - both photoshop, and pictures from the search engine for him and the offer to send them. Question: Why did you go for us? You all do not feel good without us, the right word!
"Mock asserting! We also introduce the last two small entrants and everything, we can assume that you are approved! "
Get ready for the fact that after this phrase in your folder, files will appear with the title "text_edited_final_378" and gray hair. Or Lysin. We do not know what's worse.