The stronger the temperature behind the window of the native fortress falls, the desperately, I want to change the landscape observed behind the same window. The plan is:
Suitcase
The airport
Resort
Not to get into the gif pics.ru
Well, or get and get one of our favorite tourist types:
Beach Mazochist
As it is not difficult to guess, the beach-masochist lies on the beach from nine to five, waiting patiently until the skin gets off. After that, it turns into a groaning piece of meat that runs through the restaurant and requires the confused Dominican waiters of Smetanu. Smetanu! Ne Ponimaesh? Smetanu Davai, Ti Chto - Tupoj?
Fly, fly, petal
He travels by Lookestami in the West east in the company of a tablet and hand-made bag. All envy him - he saw so much! And he really saw a lot - and the Hospital of Ecuador (bitten by the tick), and the prison of Cambodia (they have such moronic laws), and the detectors of Yucatana (a drop of local Mescal kills a horse, and the white man is in general - it takes on a lot of small worms).
Collector attractions
This goes exclusively to countries where you can make obviously obvious selfie. Received selfie are published in social networks and are divided into three types: "On the palm" (Eiffel Tower, Statue of Liberty, Egyptian Pyramid), "I'm from above" (Empire State Building, Maya Pyramids, Niagara Falls) and "I am on" (Taj Mahal , UN building, Colosseum).
Sex tourist
He knows how to distinguish Lady-fights from Lady, knows the rates in the Caribbean countries and one of the first discovered the Kenyan masters of Oral. With an incomparable charm, it utters a phrase: "Rousseau Tourist Ruddy Moral."
Do you choose?
The man who has already become an archetype who set the main life goal to make it in the restaurant all-inclusive has not enough products for dinner. Battle in the pool, because the sea is still one hundred meters. If the room has scales - the first thing pushes them deep under the bed.
Zen-Buddhist
Travels in search of secret meanings. Yoga in the mountains of Nepal seems to him much more than more high-way, rather than in the Ryazan semi-base between the supermarket and the house of life. The visible proof of the achievement of Zen is becoming the purchase of authentic sharovar and beads with large stones.
Lady of wind
Goes to the army in the company of its faithful gray bike apples. Or boats. He is jealous. However, sometimes the Lord of the Wind find in some country of the Third World without a bike, boats, documents and clothing Representatives of the native consulate. They launder and send home, feeding the subtletyels so that it was not enough. However, the hero is still jealous.
Freelancer
He moves to warm countries with the beginning of the first frost, settles in a removable apartment and, a month later, begins to despise compatriots living in resorts. Because they are stupid tourists who do not understand local realities, and he is actually a local resident.
shopaholic
They are divided into two types. Schopaholik Patus and Shopaholic is practical. Patosny goes to Milan and London, leaving in stores the cost of a small Pacific country. Practical rides in China or the USA, estimated, without looking, from the shelves Walmart-A "all on the dollar". What exactly he bought - no matter, he learns to return to his homeland.
Everything is bad
A representative of a separate species branch of tourists, who does not matter at all, where he went. The main thing is that he does not like everything. Not then he paid four hundred dollars so that local guides did not speak Russian and did not kiss it in the navel! And the tower in Paris is just a bunch of rusty iron, if anyone knew.
On the announcement - a frame from the film "Pretend to my wife"
