# YanebolessAzati: Flashmob, in which hundreds of girls admitted that they were raped
Ukrainian journalist Anastasia Melnichenko launched in Facebook Hosteg # YanebolessCazati - real stories about sexual harassment and violence. PICS.RU publishes one of the stories. It is necessary to talk about it. Because you are not guilty of what happened.
These stories are affected by their resemblance. Most often we are not talking about unfamiliar people. These are familiar friends, friends of friends, relatives, distant and not very, husbands, brothers. The worst thing is that in one form or another sexual violence was undergoing 100% of women. That is, each of us. It should not be. And we will not be silent about it.
# YanebolessAzati, but I am very disgusting to talk about it. I have experienced sexual violence several times - and so to speak, the classic to which no Samazynov can enter, and such that is not all for violence - for example, I recently learned that if the victim did not fight off, did not receive physical injuries, This is definitely not rape.
I had to persuade myself to write this post, and at first I will explain why I do it, let me and endlessly disgusting. And still a shame.
Firstly, the theme of violence is absolutely taboo. For this, of course, there are reasons - but there is a consequence that is more important than all reasons: the victims are confident that their cases are rare and unique. Everyone is fine, but I have something wrong. Culture accusation of victims, very common with us, finally convinces the sacrifice that the matter is in it. What you needed to behave differently (choose another clothes, to show more caution, have self-defense skills, do not laugh so loudly, do not accept the invitation to visit, do not give a phone number - I can endlessly list), and then this horror could be avoided.
This is not true. This is not true! The victim could not be to blame, she did not force himself, she did not stuffed in other people's genitals, she did not beat herself, did not launch herself. There are no "provocations", there is no "ran away", there are no excuse and explanations of the action of the rapist. Simply again: There are no such circumstances that lead to rape. Rape is a conscious choice of rapist, point.
The victims should be understood that they are not to blame, and they are not alone, that the picture that pretended due to silence is wrong and overwhelmed. I and without this hashthega perfectly updated that a hundred, just one hundred percent of my familiar women, and a significant number of familiar men were in one form of sexual violence. Neither the floor nor the age nor the behavior protect you from someone else's perverted will.
Secondly, I see that for many, especially men, such a number, as if, suddenly found around victims of sexual violence, naturally, is a big surprise. Such a number of "Chernihi" they used to see only in boulevard newspapers. And it is important for me to drive them back another nail of this horror, this understanding is simply in the hope that they will understand how important it is to prevent such things. Going to noise in the entrance, take a drunken friend or girlfriend from the party, to accompany to the apartment - well, yes, control yourself. As you can see by Hesteg, rape is not always an unfamiliar maniac in the entrance. Much more often is a friend who stayed overnight.
Yes, to whom, poor things, disgusting such horrors - right now it's time to stop reading. -B *** b, no, I can't even start talking. I was twelve years old, he went to the entrance for me. I spent the next week at home, the next two years I did not meet my parents at the entrance, because I could not go to it, or I was accompanied by familiar apartments - I said that we had a dangerous area and one afraid. Maybe I was worth it otherwise to dress at twelve years, or not to return at three in the afternoon from school?
Interested in self-defense. In addition to the obvious reception, the instructor taught me to keep the knife correctly, so as not to beat where to beat how to protect against the grips, how without weapons to cause the striker enough pain so that he let go, and it was possible to escape - everything you need Fourteen-year-old girl from a good family.
Knife - more precisely, sharpening - I wore for a while, it was useful for me twice. Once it was enough just to show, one day I had to remember the lessons. Near the same entrance, by the way. I like to remember these cases. I completely avenged for what happened to me. I didn't even spoil my health - so, a somewhat scratch, a torn jacket, - but in this situation I had power, he was afraid, and I was not. That was important.
Sharpening I lost still almost in graduation class. And at the older courses of the university, I stopped for a minute on my native street (it seems to cure), the door opened behind my back, and I grabbed me back and dragged into this door. Maybe I was worth not to bite on the street? With the back of all his strength back in the face and heel in the leg, let go, I turned to him, and pinched folded, "solid" fingers in the face. He fell into his fingers into the eyes, right in the eyeboard - I remember, as inwarded under the fingers of the eyelids with eyelashes, I remember the eye to the touch from the inside. And how from the nose he has flowed blood - I got up well. Interestingly, the rapist is also sharply remembered his tactile sensations? I did not even run away from this place, I walked very assembled, on the lit, crowded street, on which there was no unexpected doors behind my back.
I had dogs, I walked with them. The car was stopped, two unconsters were released in fifty, deputy species, began to get acquainted, I ignored them. One began to get acquainted closer, insistently took me for the elbow, I raised my eyes from the cutting dog and looked at Uncle. The second said - pies, vona yobnuta, Divi, Yaki Ochi. At this point, I just pretended that you can do with a living person with a dog leash with a trembling carbine at the end. That is, yes, yobnuti uchi had in full program. Perhaps I was not worth walking at five pm with a dog.
Fifteen years old with me on the tram stop "met" the young man of thirty years old. He was persistent, asked the phone, Torogal, accompanied to the house. By tram. Behind me. I asked several other passengers, a company of several men, to protect me - here, they say, an unknown one, I am afraid of him, let me at least come out on the next one, and you hold it to me for me. A chorus, really a chorus with the "nesting" I was told - do not invent. Okay, I went out on the central stop, the most crowded, went to the women's toilet TsUM and sat there for more than an hour. This time I lost it, but I saw it several times at the same stop, he greet. I took up hiking and more at that stop did not appear. Because well, obviously - I was not worth using transport.
About paws in transport Don't Even Get Me Started. Now I estimated - ten years, with Pubertat until the postman, constantly, bitch, constantly. Thirteenth trolleybus, first tram, minibuses 113 and 126, Kiev metro - already started to be in Kiev - regularly supplied to me those who wish to touch, cuddle, to get along, show the contents of the colin. As a child, more often, after - well, once a month approximately. Probably, I should not be such a lollicate.
From all this shit, you will be surprised, but after all the ages of age not so that I wanted the sex. Nevertheless, he was, because well, because. Because we meet, because I'm not therefore suggested to stay spending the night (we note a mixed company from several people, and because the transport has no longer walked, but our hero completely unambiguously interpret my signals. Heroes are generally inclined. Yes, and Huli I'm justifying). My permanent sexual partners, naturally, taught me the intricacies of the blowjob and the word "frigidity", since ordinary sex was physically impossible with me. Sho Gagaga, it is Gaga now, but not at all funny.
My "Health Problems" I decided for one session of therapy, where I was told by the Russian language that I was not to blame for me that I was raped or tried to rape. This thought somehow did not attend me before.
Next began just that many consider careless behavior and provocation. For example, to sleep with someone just so once, and the second time you do not want to sleep with him - but it is absolutely impossible to explain to a person why so. Yesterday yes, but today there is no - it does not happen in the presentation too much, as it turned out, the number of my friends. No provocation. No, once again, without sarcasm: people are naturally considered a provocation of sex. Did you have sex with this man at least once in mutual agreement? All, every next refusal is a provocation. He is not guilty that you no longer want, he should no longer control himself, and what did you want.
Or here's another provocation: we are sitting a big familiar company in the kabaska, familiar someone from us comes to Kabak, sit down. By one of the acquaintances, I need to pass there and here on my business, every time he first "playfully" does not release me, then he does not know when I squeeze. For the first time, I did not notice with fright, "in the second, I promised to stick the plug in my hand and asked his acquaintances to lead him, and in the third one, when it did not help, the plug in his hand, as promised. I never walked, already said. I guess I did not follow my friends in a crowded place.
I still did not have to return from the wedding acquaintances ordered for guests by a bus, where one of the guests seated me to my knees completely against my will. When I'm tired of the bus of the bus - and you saw it all - to break down, I poured him on my head, it seems, his beer. Perhaps your own. The bus wicked me together for this act, because I was completely impossible to spoil the upholstery and divert the dirt - well, I would have attempted me.
I tell, including the cases of failed violence and I understand that they are inadequately look in the eyes of most readers. After all, a person who has not let me down because of the table, having fallen me, did not beat me for a fork, right? Do you catch yourself on this thought now? What, perhaps, I could randomly kill in self-defense (if both parties were lucky), someone's eye to eat - I could sit, for example, in prison, for not allowed to perform sexual violence. For such a trifle - and beat the man sharpening, ugh.
That is, to rape a person just for the fact that he is a woman, that's fine. To apply physical and moral injuries for life, for many years to deprive normal communication, keep a person in fear - it is possible, this is because the rapist does not control herself. And fork in a living person poke not a mog. Tespi, girl, will not lose you.
Well, I also do not control myself. Since then, from twelve, and not controlling. And I would prefer to control, I would prefer to treat the "ordinary" paws - it just plays, he is not an adult man, but the incomprehensive puppy, he does not understand - yes I can not. And no one, in general, I do not advise.
