Astrology is a devil. So do not doubt, he will defer exactly from your birthday, sending you to eternal flour. Each sign of the zodiac has its personal blood pressure.
Aries: Hell Unknown
At the devils from Hell Aries hands out of ass and blatant unprofessionalism, but the whole horror is that no one will defill the Aries to ligure the process and correct the shoals of these eaves. Yes, they can not give fire fire! They have a crooked boiler and is about to fracture! Yes, they scored them by ads, the devils of these, and now they will lock the whole process here! Aries will be up to the second coming to observe how everything goes wrong, nibble nails and suffer from being that no one asks him of his valuable opinion.
Taurus: Hell Sunday Shopping
In principle, nothing new to the hell is waiting for anything - he has already seen it in Mega Khimki on Sunday at three o'clock in the afternoon. I barely escaped, but he is he hello to hell, that just so from there on a taxi you can't fall. The practical Taurus surrounds the legion of the demons, offering to try on the Crop-top with sequins and evaluate the work of the miracle mops, it will be driven through all the circles of hell with trolleys, fried beer, ice creams and toilet paper, and the queue to the toilet will be built from here to infinity.
Gemini: hell clarifying relationships
For all the carelessly broken hearts, twins will have to pay a family scandal with a length of infinity. What happens between us, let's talk about it. We are fine? Worse than a month ago? And a month and a half? And how much percent is worse? Instead of sulfur and fire, the twin hell stinks brandy and Corvolol. The boilers do not boil, but the doors are chosen and endless plates are fighting, someone sobs in the bathroom or, on the contrary, goes to the blizzard, and then calls from a blossom and drunk voice that the twins have broken the whole plan.
Cancer: Hell Forced Communication
Cracks will travel eternity in a locked coupe with three chatter fellow travelers, harmony and baby with colic. Early Pugacheva and SlipkNot period of decline will play through the carriage radio. On each instance in the coupe will enter the conductor with horns and ask for cancer, Cho he is so sad, it seems like this one. And even if the cancer fell into the corner barricaded with pillows and fried chicken, still not to reach him harmony and privacy - from the upper shelf right to his nose, someone's hoof in the pood-gray sock.
Lion: Hell full failure
Because for Lion is not worse than grief than to stop being a gingerbread that everyone likes, that's what it happens to him. For his vanity, the lion will pay a non-commissioned pimple size with a plum on the nose - and he will jump in half an hour by half an hour with Efron. Which on a date, however, does not come to date, because he grabbed his lion colleague - the same, which is 10 years younger, 3 higher education professionally and 15 kilograms is slimmer. And with such competition, Lev remains only to recognize the defeat and go to serve the dishwasher in leprosarium. Yes, even lightning broke on the shirina.
Virgo: Hell Perfectionism
Devas, who were bad girls, never again see straight lines, order and symmetry. They will strangle eternity in the company of disorganized devils with different-caliber horns and unwashed boilers. Hell will start for them before hell - first someone will lose the keys from the gates of the underworld, then the one who left to seek who has lost their keys will be lost, then the lunch break will begin, and then it turns out that the devils lost the devil's certificate about the severity of sins and Now it is generally incomprehensible what to do.
Scales: Decision Hell
Tea or coffee? Strengo or brito? Smaller and cheaper or more and more expensive? Green or square? Hell scales are an intersection with completely equivalent roads, and it is simply impossible to choose the appropriate. And on the shoulder at the weights will be sitting in a progress, bold them with a poker on the poppy and dirty: "Yes, you are already determined! Well, you chose? Chose? Chose? ". For each minute of delay - another one thousand years of this nightmare.
Scorpio: Hell Colebata
Firmly raging scorpions will fall into the city of sin - just before sin, they will not allow them, all, enough, came down and wondering. Scorpio will be up to Morovkin's spending to look through the soundproof windows at the swingers parties, wained strippers and fights without rules in hot chocolate, like a poor flower girl on the Christmas tree in the Lordsk House. But in vain, it will be knocked in the glass - the entrance is only at invitations, the scorpion was not called. And the tinder is empty. And Mamba depcomed.
Sagittarius: Hell Deadline
In this life, the homemade Sagittari often eaten Tyzik, he also had a computer or a rude imaginary grandmother. Nothing, all the work that has been erected by Silver is waiting for him on the other side - and at midnight there will be a black customer. Neither sleep, nor Trep in Messenger, neither to relieve the site to the concert "Mushrooms" - only coffee, panic lack of ideas and ticking hours, yes every fifteen minutes in the working chat knocks the enemy of human race and reports that it is necessary to make some closers and fonts Play.
Capricorn: Hell Silence
In the underworld Capricorn, there is a full ignore and boycott. The devils do not greeted, the prince of Darkness does not even nine and in general prevent the look that the Capricorn first sees. He will find that he was taken out of all collective chats and with disgrace expelled from closed groups. He in the eternal black list in all contacts and no one puts huskies even the most witty caperpasses. So it will wander around the boilers, unwanted, and chatting something in this hole with anyone.
Aquarius: Hell Thip
Yesterday, Aquarius was in firewood and sins, but from the usual situation, hanging hell is distinguished by the fact that "tomorrow" will never come. But in the services of Aquarius, the infinite tape of the social activist, in which each status reminds of its fall (from the table) and there is no end to the documented shame. In the personal hell, Aquarius does not have aspirin, pizza with delivery to the house, a cat, whom you can ask, where I turned in my life not there, and even duned banks with a kind brine. There is only hellish Bodun and a neighbor with a perforator.
Fish: Hell of Eternal Repair
Until the sort of fish, the knee of the dowels, the semi-dry fill of the floor and the metapola on the eight, ponurose the drainage of 100 meters of the wire, and observe how devils with the ullyukan are crawled and shut up and shift the tile - each time with a different pattern, but consistently crooked. And not seeing anything more than anything sophisticated drywall, sophisticating the pro-Satan in Kirzachas and sublime construction forests around the perimeter of his personal underworld.
