Well, okay, suppose we have reached some arrangements that you can and what cannot be done with your children. And what about others?
Aliens children are great and delightful when they are in the photos. Rightly grow, always learning well and never emit sounds. Give three. No, give a hundred. When someone else's child is metering in the presence of yours, nausees on your boots and is urgently interested in the contents of your mom's pockets, it becomes obvious - something like this someone else's child looks like yours. No, not face and not even the patches. By raking the consequences - you.
At the same time, any of your actions, except for complete ignoring, risk bringing mass condemns.
What we climb not in your business!
Who are you here? Have you been asked?
Rise your own!
Yes, in general, you yourself think that there is nothing to do in the upbringing of children (especially, for example, your children). Especially, if you have come across many times with different people, who are treating a stranger child by some ban, then they offer, like a ponaroshka, to get along with them, then they are yelling for any very permissible things in your home. "Where are you going to the puddle ??? Do you want to drown? " "Why do you eat this nasty? Who gave you a nightmare coca-cola? You will get sick and die! "
Suddenly it turns out that any sigh in the direction of someone else's child is an attempt to capture the privileges of his parents. Complete tactlessness and violation of borders. On the other hand, no one has canceled your borders. And other people's children, just as their own, are infrequently conscious enough to track the boundaries of someone else's aunt. What to do
Option 1. "Hey, this is someone?"
The most suitable way to manage a stranger doteager is to appeal to his parents. It works best when there are parents than to click. You dad's boss or you have a gun in your hands. Otherwise, the result depends on how much of these, undoubtedly hawk, people (gave birth to at least one child) generally there is an understanding that other people have some rights and some personal boundaries. Otherwise, on a cry "Whose child pokes in the water on the beach ?? !!" We will get the lazy "Masya, do not forget to wash the ass." Surprise (in fact - no), but the most arrogant and unpleasant children usually turn out to be the most arrogant and unpleasant parents. Net Blood Malfoev, all that.
But it may be the opposite. And this rare hit, who swamped and eating your ice cream is not spoiled to live with a pink help, and almost an adapted disabled person with a pink help is already talking, but it still understands that it is possible, and what is not. (And it happens that it does not speak, alas) then, most likely, parents apologize, will explain and try to measure the possibilities to compensate awkwardness and damage.
Maybe some peaceful explanation of the trouble being created. Parents stupidly could not track something. The child may be confused and accepted inadvertently. Or two months, as adopted and a little more Mowgli. So appeal to parents - in general, not a bad option.
Option 2. "Boy, here I sit"
Suppose those responsible for the child are not visible or the help of them does not have to wait. And with this child still contact and contact. This is the youngest of your sink, or your neighbor in the compartment, or classmate of your child. Neither escape nor throw from your territory, but tolerate silently - unrealistic. And Mom, sorry, sleeps. Or on any request includes a hubalka.
In addition to direct or indirect aggression, there are quite a few ways to notify the boundaries of the boundaries that he did not come there. For example, a diplomatic protocol. Politely, friendly and calmly explain why you disagree with something. Also in the same mode, as I explained to my own child. Or colleague. Or mom. If a girl who plays with your daughter, constantly asks you to wear her cell phone when you go together - offered her to start a shoe pocket or handbag. Because all if her mom calls her when they swing on a swing, or suddenly you would distract and drop this phone - you have your own; Well, in the end, everyone must be responsible for their belongings. Even if the child is used to other rules - well, what, there is no home, here is your territory. We have so accepted here.
The key point here is a calm explanation. You do not attack. You do not even raise (Ouzhas) someone else's child, you just inform it about the rules that work in your framework. In addition to you, who could inform this child? Ah, parents do not suit your rules? They have the right to pick up a child with your territory, all the best, it was nice to meet.
Option 3. "Comrades, let's just follow the most interesting phenomenon"
Suppose the likelihood of negotiating with a little fucking is obviously low, but there are no parents near or they are extremely tolerated to suffering, causing not. Oddly enough, it is in this case that a very effective method is published.
Quote from friendly FB, with author's permission:
"Side in line in the clinic, the line is big, there are few places.
Next to me sits a corpulent lady. It is approaching her turn, she gets up and the girl is slipping into her place, by age, ten - eleven and clearly says:
- Well, thank God, finally someone raised his greasy ass and I can sit down.
And silence. And satisfied giggling of this person.
I look attentively on her - nifiga, no reaction. I am clearly noting "however" and milf starts quickly-quickly hissing "do not disgrace me, think what they say," etc., etc. But straight is obvious that she is not ashamed of the words themselves. She is ashamed for the fact that they were heard "
We do not need straight right now to spend positive removal of every young goat, which came across a public place. It is enough to remind the fact that the place is public. In principle, this is the most method that grandmothers on the benches are used with varying degrees of sophistication. We all remember all the childhood, what a dangerous method is - all they see, they will not solve anything about something.
Here, as in the previous versions, you have to go on the razor blade - and not climb not in your business (what will remember quickly), and do not let go on your legs. No, I do not touch your child. Yes, I have the right to discuss what I have before my eyes. Yes, you can not listen to me, please. No, you can't make me be silent. No, you can't make me leave. Eat yourself? Can. Good luck.
Oddly enough, it is not aggression (although the persons discussed will not agree with this). Public space is a place - everyone has the right to discuss the actions of each other. It is enough not to touch the questions of appearance, intelligence, likely the future, and to keep only actions - and you are invulnerable. Like that reindeer herdder that I see, I sing.
By the way, children - the people are quite flexible. A child can quickly assimilate that in this context you need to behave as this aunt said - and if the context is interesting, then it is next to you a home tyrant and warning. All you need is interesting and clearly explain what is considered right.
Hospital, in the middle social norm it is believed that the educated child should guess himself, how to be pleasant to any people. Come on, with this and adults, they rarely cope with it, and you definitely needs instructions for sure. Do not tolerate and save anger. Children feel the disapproval of us not worse with you, and as a person who has been knocked out from hostility, and silently silent - we all know everything since childhood.
It is clear that not with everyone in the world can be agreed. But if three of the ten small assholes are apologized and stopped, the mother will be watched and the three will be ashamed and being touched - then with one last one can already be able to cope. For example, by calling the police.
Text author: Asya Mikheev
Illustration: shutterstock
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