In our age of globalization to marry a foreigner, and even move to his country, is no longer so incredibly exotic, as at the time of Anna Yaroslavna. And to a new life is easier to get used to: everywhere the same jeans, bathrooms, traffic lights and shops. But this exceptionally external one. Local cultural features are not allowed to relax so immediately, you have to get used to!
We asked for several readers who married foreigners, share their experience and observations: what it is, to take root on someone else's soil.Husband - German
I am Belorusska. The Germans are trapped by the Germans and apple mousse. I still can not transfer it. In Belarus, the Diank is a sacred and necessarily salt dish, which is eaten with sour cream and all sorts of pouring. And the mother-in-law is offended that I call it on "you". It is here in the case of the family not a sign of special respect, but as if the "non-recognition" of her as a family member. Like, "I do not know you, you me are other people." The Germans are strongly surprised that I wipe wipe every river every river. As for Eastern European cuisine, they are striking how much we are preparing when we are waiting for guests or for holidays.
Husband - Turk
In large cities, Turkey is such a Muslim europe. Only in the morning did not call the bell, and Muzzins shout, it is just necessary to get used to it. I still haven't gotten accustomed to the end ... It is difficult to walk with young children on the streets, covers a wave of public subsignment. Here is a real cult of childhood. This is not a form, in families, it is even stronger, the Turkish children are very indispensable, tasked, squeeze. But it is very easy to go shopping, not even knowing the language. Local vendors are so pumped, they will even understand and gestures and put on the counter exactly what is needed.
Almost all women love to cook, and many men, too, very striking after Russia. There are all love no less, the portions are large, the picnics of the format of "kebab-juice-salad" does not happen, the bags-refrigerators with a huge number of food are dragging. I did not have problems on the basis of different cultures, he was immediately configured that it would marry a European and feed, bring to a click of fingers will not, you want coffee - ask for loud or do it yourself. The only battle that we had - because of intimate hairstyles. Here it is customary to remove naked, no modest and short haircuts confessed, it is dirt. But this battle was before the wedding.
Husband - Ukrainian from the depths
The change of culture was very radical, because not only the country changed, I moved from the city to the village. Immediately - a new style of communication. I tried to communicate with mother-in-law by name-patronymic. But here only "Mom - you". Also immediately turned me out when I called the husband with a diminutive name (i.e., not burning, namely, the diminutive), well, for example, "Vanka". "Did you quarrel with him or do not respect? With people do not say so, and then there will be rumors. "
On Sunday, nothing can be done categorically! For me, working and accustomed to the urban lifestyle, it was a flour martyr. I postpone cleaning for the weekend, and here - Oops, already it. And that's it. Then he learned to plan, and to be honest, to bypass the ban. Husband supports. There was a funny cultural moment. Teach English times with children. There offer "Who did a birdhouse? - I. And when did you do it? - On Sunday". The children had a cognitive dissonance.
Here is a very fat kitchen, can serve stewed duck with fresh milk, for me it is just horror horror. So here, just the husband was forced to get used to my traditions. And I made some mix of this. I like. Even there has taught the okroshka :)
Husband - Italian
I didn't have a cultural shock in Italy, because I often went there before marriage. Well, so highlights, surprising Russian women.
Eating strictly on schedule. If the guest came, dump everything from the refrigerator - not accepted. Not because of the Zhada, but because it is believed that in an unbearable time a person simply cannot be hungry. And at lunchtime, a polite person simply never goes to anyone and does not call even, because it is holy. Guests are offered drinks: aperitif, coffee, water. To feed a person, you must invite it for lunch or dinner. If you ask the Italian if he wants to eat, he is before answering, looks at the clock. Food for Italians is ... In general, this is all for them. But it is not necessary to dwell to the bottom, you can not even drink at all.
It is not customary to make comments even in the most affectionate and polite uniform. And the hint of clarification of relations is considered inadequate behavior. Well, that is, some of course swear with neighbors, relatives, but this usually means the final gap of diplomatic relations. Discuss some serious topics and especially arguing - not welcome. It is accepted according to nod to any Ahine, which you are told. I first wondered: why do you always agree with me? :) then figured out. :).
This is all over the experience of communicating in a small village in Lombardy (one of the most economically developed regions in the north of Italy). In the south, something can be different. But the food is holy throughout Italy.
Husband - Greek
One of the first discoveries - hot water is not always, but heats up the boiler and ends pretty quickly. Heating in winter we turn on hour or two. Because +18 in the house is quite warm, and it can be used to it. But +15 is quite cold.
This is not swearing - they talk about the weather. It is not to kill each other - they talk about football. They are not fighting in the seizure, but talk about politics. Places in public transport Olders to give up better. And especially old women - you will come true. Moscow drivers compared to Athens - bunnies. In Athens, go to the red light and on the passing path of pedestrians - the usual thing. Also to wear them that not quickly spread out.
Do not ask what the name is kids up to two years. Their name is kid or baby. The name will give in christening. Forget about how you want to call your child. He will be called named Svetra or mother-in-law. This tradition is indisputable. Well, u, if you want to insist on your own - get ready for war.
What is the birthday? Name day - this is a holiday with gifts and congratulations. What another new year? Christmas! And the most important holiday is Easter. Celebrate all, even atheists.
Husband - Basque
I am Ukrainian. How did our cultures come across? Elementary. I eat only me, because "the beets are food cows." Well, please. In retaliation, I do not do local cuisine. What? Tortie? This is su-u-working, and only local residents can be engaged. Here let's go and do. On Thursdays we have such dinner. And on other days of the week, something else is coming up with something, and that I also do not cook. Talk about food - I do not know who else says, Spaniards or Italians :) Cold? The same parsley as in Greece: 18 is almost hot. 19 - all windows open and stands, there is nothing to breathe, they say.
Husband - Spain
Spain surprised me, perhaps, a more reverent attitude towards the names. Some people love them more than the birthday itself) Well, in the little things - the holidays are different. Family dinner when you invite everyone - this is Christmas. The new year is so, for young people, the reason to get to the disco, and on January 2nd to work!
Dining, especially at work, better with someone. At first, it was strained, and now I'm already normally talking to colleagues, they say, order a place and on me in the restaurant. If it is lunch or dinner on the map, not a comprehensive lunch, then order several dishes to "divide" with everyone. Married men, especially with children, share life in half with spouses. But this is more touched by young, no older than forty years.
Husband - Canadian
Understanding with him is much more than with Russian men. But still struggling with some habits. I do not like when the day is sitting with closed curtains at electric light - here often come across this. And I also have "the law of surfaces" - the fact that it was unknown where it is not put on the floor for the dining table, etc. And local very calmly relate to this, they can pour water into the kitchen sink after washing the floors.
Russian dishes are eating, sometimes preparing at applications. But no one eats caviar, and it is very sorry. Sometimes I want, but I am a lot of little jar. And no one else, besides me, does not drink.
Husband - Japanese
In this country, a foreign wife will never be his own, and it will be demonstrated, although it did not normally. She is forever alone. And she is harder to find work than Japanese. We will have to get used to the fact that all the money and all property are on the husband. Even child care benefits receives a bank account. In general, the Japanese husband must be chosen even more carefully than any foreigner. The wife will be very financially dependent.
Japanese man in the head will not come somehow helping home. Requests will surprise him. It does not take the cup behind him from the table in the sink. Even very kind and loving. Maximum, he will walk to walk with children so that his wife is easier to get out. Wives are not customary to help wear heavy bags or give gifts. In fact, in five years you can teach it a little help, for example, throwing dirty socks into a washing machine. But it will require tremendous effort.
When a Japanese husband comes home in the evening, there everything should be perfect: dinner is ready, the house is removed, children are pretty dressed. And no girlfriends in his house! For girlfriends there is a day. If the husband suddenly came earlier than usual, and you drink tea with a Japanese friend, Japanese will begin and, constantly putting and apologizing, literally run away.
And another detail - the husband and wife almost do not speak here, this is normal. He can even love her at the same time. But what to talk about, does not represent. He expresses his love in two ways: or earns more so that his wife can afford cute personal purchases, or exhibit time to stay at home, go somewhere to walk somewhere.
The article prepared Lilith Mazikina