We continue to acquaint you with a look of a psychologist's man on relationships, marriage and family. This time Pavel Zygmantich talks about what men say in their circle about weak women.
Should a woman be weak? Of course not. A weak woman is the worst thing that can happen to a man.
Now that the preoccupation header is supported by the hike beginning (and therefore, attention is attracted), it is possible to slow down the glow of exposure and talk calmly.
Let's proceed.
Around me more and more and more say that a woman is correct (yes, yes, it is right) to be weak. After all, such she likes a man much more, and therefore she has a much greater chance to find a husband. Yes, not ababy, but good.
As for me, this thesis is slightly erroneous (I put it so carefully). First of all, the fact that there is no clear definition of weakness in it. Well, symmetrically there is no clear definition of force. And is it important. From this and start.
I propose to count this way - a strong person, this is a person who can solve questions arising in his life. It is necessary for him - it goes to the HSP and agree with the plumber; It must be - earn on the car; It is necessary - will find than to take a Saturday evening; It must be - says "no". And if it does not work from the first time - remake.
Weak man - on the contrary. It is necessary to go to the HSP, but "I'm afraid of them." We need a car (well, okay, okay - I want), but "they are expensive." It is necessary to take the evening, but "I don't know what to do." It is necessary to refuse, but - "failed". And so on, in the same line.
Obviously, a strong person is a person, first of all, independent. And the weak person is a person not independent, which without support for someone - falls.
That is, if a woman is offered to be weak, she is suggested to be a disabled, unstable and simply dependent on a man. In my opinion, it is dangerous primarily for the woman itself.
For example, she listened to such advice. It became nohasson. I met a man and even married him came out. Then, alas, I did not work out - divorced. Well? Where will she go? What will happen to? How will it provide yourself? An adult man he is on the adult to provide himself independently, it does not matter - a man you or a woman.
And the weak to provide himself. It can only knock the hand in one way or another way. And strong after some time it begins to inform.
I lead a lot of trainings for men, and congratulations on the Y-chromosome I tell me a lot of things. They are told frankly - in our trainings for men women does not happen, you can talk perfoch.
So - men who met, lived or now live with weak women, are very unhappy with these women.
Everything is simple - a man next to such a woman lives one and a half life minimum. His - and her. For example, it takes into maintenance not only your car, but also it. There is a certificate to the official not only for myself, but also for it.
And everything would be fine, if it were from time to time, - in the end, in order to also be a marriage to help each other, including such issues. But because the described happens not from time to time, but constantly!
As a result, a man chooses or solving the next issues of a woman or, for example, work. It is clear that many choose the solution of the next questions of a weak woman (try not to choose - she will make you the brain so, they do not get old to the new year).
And it is like. No matter how to help your woman, never. Man he is a man - he solves all the problems. The question is that for this help a man pays to a refusal of his own life.
Until a certain level, this price is quite suitable - any marriage necessarily requires some refusal of the former freedoms and liberties, from his own life. Therefore, it does not arise before a certain level of problems. But here's higher than this level ...
However, enough. I am for the third time I am going to repeat the idea that the bad help itself is as such, but the fact that the woman refuses independence. All who saw the first twice, all understood everything. The rest ... will take note on the network and will scold me to scold me, making a gift advertising.
So - about weak women. A man, in fact, need a strong woman who can be near in a difficult moment.
Here is a simple household situation - a man fell ill. Not influenza there, or cold. And seriously fell ill, half a year. How will a weak woman be guided next to him, who herself can only sit on VKontakte? Exactly…
And strong will help, support and the man will again be on his feet.
That is why men love strong women. With them, the power of men multiply, you can do more with them. In the end, with them there is something to talk - that in itself valuable.
I have noticed for several years - the men at the age of "thirty" are very little interested in young female students. So men are interested in the women of their age. It was the most consisted - with a profession, a sober look at the world, good mind and decent experience.
Why is that? Because a man and a woman are natural allies. And the relationship in marriage, as I repeatedly wrote, this is the relationship of the allies.
And in the pair "a strong man - a weak woman" no alliance. There is only the relationship "donor - recipient" (as in a pair "a strong woman is a weak man"). Such relationships are beneficial only for the one hand, and even that - not long. Here are the men and do not want to spend time on such an excessive relationship.
Someone will surely want to argue, they say, men are afraid of strong women. This is not true. Men do not like powerful women (exactly like women do not like power men).
Just in the everyday speech of the concept of "strong" and "domineering" (as well as "weak" and "humble") firmly merged and not all distinguish them. And it is useful to distinguish.