The psychotherapist Adriana was told to us last time how we deprive themselves forces and hope, depreciating themselves, their work and their achievements. And at the same time promised that he would write about how it was still to begin to appreciate himself. Of course, we are obliged to share its recommendations with you.
This text is probably not so fun as the previous one, but let's think about it, but how to appreciate yourself? How not to deny it, see your progress? Maybe it is still possible to do without turning (horror! Horror!) In the egoist?
Be on your side
Nobody appreciated many of us in childhood, not a shore, did not ask, we can something or not. And we are accustomed to yourself also - we do not give yourself a descent on any work or in study. Neither health nor household problems should affect our effectiveness. Even if the whole world is against us.It looks like this: it is a tortured, exhausted concluded concentration camp, where it was placed against his will and in general it is not clear for what, a check commission comes: "Why does this prisoner Petrov work well? We feed her! " - And immediately, the prisoner of Petrova begins to tear his hair: "Why is I? Oh, it was necessary to apply! "
Very often I want to ask: "Hey, and you generally on whose side?"
It is important to remember your good. About myself. Think at least from time to time: what can I do for myself?
If I feel bad, I'm sick, I'm tired or someone's close to me died - you need to take the day off. We must sleep. We must go to the doctor. We must cry. At least just get out of the Cabinet for fifteen minutes and breathe.
This means being on your side.
Take help
It is normal when we help us. Normally, that we work in a team. It is normal that Dad added money to the car, and brother helped to disassemble the garage. It is normal that sometimes my mother takes the son for a couple of hours.
I still bought the car, the disassembled garage - my, and I am the mother of my son, I brought him up, and not a grandmother. I did it. Via. And it is normal.
I usually cite such an example: there is an apple. Dad gives the daughter of an apple bought for her money. This does not mean that because of this, 0.1% of daughter cells begin to belong to him.
From the moment we were given an apple, if there are no conditions and treaties, it is ours. Both the body, and energy, and strength, and much more, which is obtained from the apple - our.
If society does not interact with a person, he does not become a person, which means everything we do is to some extent - the product of many people's creativity. But, if we make more than half of the work, then the result, first of all, our.
Pretend the notebook (sets, notebook, serifs on the wallpaper) - "I did it"
In my blog there is a tag "I have it." Under it, I am writing any things that are pleasing me, so that later, in a sad day, open and re-read.The smaller we contact with our achievements, the less we assign them. Therefore, it is important that these lists are. As one of the commentators said, if she does not manage to write about himself on his own behalf, she writes on behalf of Bastunia: "But what I did! And so!" I usually suggest imagine a dialogue with a friend: "Today I came down the soup, it was pressed 30 times, I looked at the 2rs of an interesting series, I wrote an article for PICS.ru, I painted a funny face and read 30 pages of the book." Already not bad.
Many magazines propose to talk about something good, praise themselves in front of the mirror. Typically, Russian girls are very difficult to believe in themselves, especially in bad days. Come to the mirror, and the face tired, the T-shirt is stretched, and somehow the language does not turn to say: "You are a super-well done, you will succeed!" Well, it is not necessary. Try to say something else, maybe just tender: "I will not bother you" and "even on such a day I am with you."
However, you can not write and not say - you can just buy for every interesting thing that you did, a glass ball or something else is small and cute. And fold into a special aquarium or jar. And beautiful, and go on nice.
Especially if sad and T-shirt stretched out.
Do not execute your deficiencies
Many tips on the network sounds like "write out their pros and cons" or "remember, for what you usually criticize yourself?"
Do not. Usually, the inner critic from us is Bodr, assembled and inflated. It is not clear why, but this part of us feels more successful and smarter than the rest of the rest - this is not my tummy, it's you fat a cow; It's not I was lying all day, I criticized you, it's you lazy; This is not me "just" props a hundred beds, ran seven times in the store for three kilometers from home, entertained the children, mother-in-law, dog, hedgehog and painted the house, it's won that dull lady all fussing and could not systematize everything.
So if you ask yourself: "What are my flaws?" - The critic cheerfully prejudices the list on seven sheets and will not turn into.
Where to think more interestingly - and who gave her right to judge me? Why does she know how best? The same part of me, she has the same height, weight, age, husband. Why does this part it seems that everything can be done better, and better should I do? Let him do!
And here I will sit in a beautiful pose, but smoking - you get clean up without inspiration! Missed dust in the corner! Offer on a hundredth page of the dissertation is not agreed!
In fact, of course, this is usually the parent part - from teachers, parents, grandmothers and televisions, where we know how we need to live.
And to live in fact to us. Maybe they are in the bath? Well, at least half a day - let them pile.
Do not criticize, but keep yourself
Ask yourself: "What do I love? What do I like? But right now, what do I want to do? "
It does not matter that it was necessary to start doing five hours ago, it is important that I want now. What do I want and can I now?
And try not to answer not "I can not", but "I would like .... (tea, coffee, sleep, walk). " Sometimes hear an honest answer is a bit sad, but some sadness is not scary.
Join your throat - that's what's scary.
But if you learn to notice what you want, and even sometimes do it, the benefit will be more. This means - appreciate yourself.