In Russian realities, the likelihood is that a man "with a trailer" is fadingly small. And because the children rarely remain after the divorce with dad, and because such dads are raised even faster than simple dilutes. Care about the child? Himself? We must take!
We must take, you have to take. You later with this child in one house to live. With a cat, someone else's savage - a big deal, and then a whole person with his life and his opinion.
The probability that this person is not yet of those who can express their discontent are minimal. This is a single girl with a breast baby you can meet, and a lonely young man with a baby - at all in any way. So there will be an opinion and statement.
How to survive how to preserve in such conditions not only a relationship with a person's dad, but also a common mind? There are several points, observing which, you can make a quest a little simpler.
Never never discuss with a child his mother.
Absolute taboos. Is that, in the option "be alive, this holy beautiful woman, Andrei would not even looked at me." Can you tell such words through your mouth so to believe yourself? Then you can say one or twice in life.
Forget the thought of "how this unhappy child will love me"
Not love. The probability is the less, the more you will expect it. First you have to build business relationships like "We both do not want to be superfluous to your dad, so let's agree about peaceful actions." And the older the child's child, the more these relationships will be businesslike. And if you are speeding up to partners with time, it's good. Actually, this is the perfect option to which you should strive. And if he suddenly loves - consider it a miracle.
Never admit to the child comparison of yourself and his moms
The child himself will compare, have no doubt. Maybe the truth is not to express. But it will be compared. And shut up my mother-in-law, if she swollen to inform everyone that "Maryarovka, the pies were better" or "finally the hostess in the house, not what the hubalka is" - you also hardly succeed.
But not to support these conversations, never to start them and everyone who can persuade this does not do - you need. For what? And in order to give to understand the child - you do not take in the family _ [Mama_. She is one thing, you are completely different. And if you suddenly die - his mother will not appear on the released place. Yes Yes.
Apply his love for father
Including, aloud, appreciate. Do you like this guy too? So any kidnogany kid to please dad - what you need. If this child is trying to please you - at least half of the time it is still love for father. But the child who will noticeably despise and dad, and you with him at the same time - over time will make you both much more hassle and troubles.
If the harmful person relieves sitting between you - well, that, between adults, the most secure position, predators are first eating extreme. Sit down, then I get tired. Children cannot partition 24/7 - stamina lacks.
As few surprises from your side
In the life of this person, quite terrible surprises have already occurred, so as not to appreciate the innovation. Everything comes from you and relating to this child should voiced him at the planning stage. And remind. "We are thinking about this summer to take you to the south, how are you no serious objection?" "We found a place, it's there something and there. We are going in July. " "Do you remember that in a month the plane?"
If you manage to gradually become a source of stability for your husband - believe me, sooner or later you will hear thanks for that. And even the child's pregnancy is better to inform early, ideal - "We are going to make another child. No, not yet, but we think it will happen. No, you do not have to give your toys and your bed. And move too, we hope you do not have to. "
That's where an important point. About the trip to the south (buying a scooter) you advise. And about moving to Prague, the appearance of the younger sister or the change of dad of the working mode - you inform. The decision is made by adults, and keep the child in the course - the courtesy and maintenance of a safe environment.
Take good
When our own child carries us a gift glued from the trimming of our tights, cones and plasticine, we are delighted and put the installation to the most prominent place in the house. Roads are not a gift, expensive attention. Your portrait with oblique mouth and carefully combed Nabe three Volosins hanging in the framework you at work. Because well, I tried !! So, this child also needs to evaluate not so much the result as "tried." And if you know that this person had to do with him, in order to mumble "HelloChelieoksan" first, take into account these works.
Do not give love
I like this person, he is prettier to you - well. Not particularly - nothing terrible. Your task is to learn each other to respect, and cooperate for the good of the common family, the joy of dad and benefit to younger children. Suggest assistance (for example, with lessons). Hug, if it comes and saves - it is possible. Give something "from yourself", if suddenly wanted - you can. But never build something that is not. Meaning? The truth will still come out, and the reputation of a reliable aunt - spoil.
So how do you still love him?
Ask yourself ten years later. Or succeed. Or not.
We know a few stepmother, which are completely friendly and even friendly relationships with steps. We know the relatives of their moms who are not able to do the same with relatives renewed and emitted. So, whether you deal with your relatives, foster from the orphanage, or the child remaining from the past - anyway: endurance to you, patience and good luck.
