Before living for a long time and happily, kind well done and red maiden, as in fairy tales, should pass seven tests. Well, in fairy tales of their usually three. Well, here you are not a fairy tale, there is a joint life in marriage, which is sometimes where the harvest of battles with the nightingales-robberry.
Go together on vacation
It's not easy so a bunch of newlyweds is divorced after the first joint ventiy. The journey is the most valuable opportunity to see how a person responds to stress, the change of plans and force majeure, and yet - as far as he is ready to join in solving common problems (for example, if a train with all luggage left, and you are stuck somewhere in the center of Myanmar ).
To seriously quarrel
You will have to do it anyway - not now, so after the wedding. Conflict test drive is necessary to understand who you contacted - with a person who is capable of dialogue, albeit on elevated colors, or those at the first blows of thunder hiding under the bed or slaps the door, depriving you the possibility of conveying the essence of claims.
In addition, if you always keep everything in myself, on the place where everyone else has a readiness for a healthy confrontation, you will grow a psychological block: "If we argue, we will disperse." The terrible thing is actually. She pushes people to unnecessary defamations and sacrifices.
Discuss the issue of gene transfer
Many of us have a big problem: when we hear what we do not like, we pretend that they heard something else. And nowhere, this feature is not so fatal as when planning a family. He says "I don't want children," and she hears "I don't want children, but if the child is still, I will love him and we will live happily all together." She says "I want children," and he hears "I want children, but not now, and after 15 years. Maybe. I do not know, let's think about it. " As a result, she is offended by the offer of alimony, he believes that he was mistaken and deceived, the court, divorce, angry. Although in fact everyone immediately expressed his position.
Try to make sure that you really understood each other, were extremely honest and accepted all the said seriously. Yes, it happens that people are talking about. But it is not necessary to put it.
Live together
Romantic weekend in a country hotel overlooking breakfast and ducks are not considered. You need conditions, as close as possible to combat, that is, to everyday. Because in the hotel room is not visible who in front of you is a pig or maniac purity. Does he consider that you need to notify about the arrival of five korea at night or not. Loves to put a saucepan with a spoon of borscht on the bottom.
Determine what is considered to be treated
It is difficult to talk about such a thing - more precisely, it is difficult to be completely frank in this matter. And of course, no one will sign "Bill about cheating" to hang it on the wall and at each suitable case to poke the partner into him with his nose. But it is still necessary to discuss the topic. Because the concept of treason has their own. Someone believes that flesh is weak and should not strain due to sex for health on business trips and in resorts. Others believe that three gifs with funny cats in the messenger are already a reason to sit at the negotiating table and start dividing property. So it will be useful to represent where each of you is drawn.
Get acquainted with the family
If his relatives play in his life at least some role, you need to meet them. And make friends. Or at least to deviate them as much as possible. And also to deal with who about whom what and who who is friends with whom is friends, who in this family is Patriarch, and who is a lousy sheep. You contact not only beloved, but with the whole family - that is, with their obligations, drama and rules. The opposite is also true, so the introduction of it with all his own.
Decide on expectations
Actually, why do you do it? Okay, not to live in sin and arrange a party in the style of "Star Wars", and why? Marriage, like any enterprise, has a mission, goals and objectives. If you expect that he will be a world famous writer in half a year, and you will quit work and will live on his fees, it is better to warn about it on the shore. And then there may be a confusion. It is important to at least have an idea how you see your union in 5-10-20 years. Of course, life will make adjustments, but it is not important if your forecasts will come true, and then you see one way.
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