Here, under this article, Pavel Zygmantovich, we would have been signed with pleasure ... if there were plagatives. And so simply share with you. Here is the Holy True.
Many problems in the life of people happen due to the head. Strange ideas live in the head, which, when using people, live life. Such ideas should be contacted from the head by all possible ways, except, except, amputation.
For example, some men in the head lives an interesting idea - if a woman sits with children at home, then it rests around the clock and relaxes.
Through this man expects the wife to meet him from work happy and infinitely rested, fresh, funny, somewhere even tired of relaxing. Meet, it is clear, the perfect dinner and omissions of the legs, on ancient Greek tradition. Okay, I got rid of my legs, but in the rest - no.
And a man can understand somewhere. He fell at work, most of the money from this groove spends not at himself personally, but to his wife with children, and it believes that he deserved the Piets from his wife. Here, quote: "What is it difficult to her, or what? I came home - Mete me, as it should! "
And since the woman does not do any of the above, a man in tragedy and confusion. The way out of which can be very easy to deal with: "She doesn't love me, she does not appreciate me, there is no love in this house!" Well, then - a mistress, divorce, difficulties in communicating with children and so on, so on, so on.
All this can be avoided if you look at the world soberly (or, in a different way, put a cognitive barrier).
A sober view will show us important moments. Namely - the seat on the decree is a heavy test, much more difficult than work.
That is, minimum four reasons:
1. You do not control anything. For happiness, man is very important to control his life. Control over their own life (emphasizing - over your own) directly affects the health, happiness and life success of a person. What is control? This is the acceptance of your decisions and following them.
A woman sitting in the maternity leave is an extremely poor choice of opportunities for making their decisions and follow them. So she thought for lunch, while the child sleeps, make exercises to the press. And the child of the R-times - and did not fall asleep. It seems like and walked, and ate - and the child is not sleeping, herself goes happily.
Or, "I decided to call a friend, while the child engaged in rattles. Only started the conversation, like here - Fuck! Bach! Something broke, a child in crying, you need to save.
This in the life of a woman in the decree is many times more than a man at work, and this is terribly tired.
2. You have no result. At work - a deal, caught criminal, twisted crane, traveled route, and at home - nothing. The woman washed the dishes - after half an hour, the mountain had accumulated in the car wash. Prothella floor - again the children spilled milk and smeared plasticine. No result.
Moreover, often a woman does not at all can bring the matter to the end. I got underwear from the machine, did not have time to decompose - you need to change the diaper. I changed - I did not have time to return to the lingerie, because the child asked there. Focused - the child asks to play, how can you refuse? In the end, lingerie lies in the pelvis, dries, as he can.
And when there is no result, no "dopamine reinforcement" does not occur. Simply put, the body does not receive awarding for their work, and his favorite opposite procedure does not happen. What, in turn, reduces motivation to such cases. But it is still necessary to do anyway, no matter what motivation. This oppresses and can easily contribute to the most natural depression.
3. At work - gratitude, and at home - nothing . Well, when children are more or less adults and can guess that mom needs to thank. And if not? Gratitude for a person is an important moment of reinforcement (including the above-mentioned dopamine). There is no thanks - there is no motivation to do something further.
Especially bad if the husband does not recognize that a woman in the maternity need to thank three times more than usual. This adds conditions for the emergence of depression.
4. Duration of work - more than twelve hours. Decree is because not only with children play and aunt. It's a cotton house - cooking, there, cleaning, washing. And besides, it is also at night to rise, because the husband is early to get up early and it is more important to sleep (and this in some sense, however). So it turns out that a working day of a woman in the decree is much longer than that of a man. What, as I see, slightly unfair.
5. Reducing communication and support. A woman in the decree communicates a little. It only seems that she has a wide range of communication - the same milfs in the playground. In fact, the situation is not so unequivocal. The woman, going to the maternity leave, falls out of the usual circle of communication and, firstly, for a while adapts to this situation, and, secondly, it can not always find communication, which would be the same in depth of openness, like What before. Still, bidders on the site do not always allow each other to frank conversations for souls.
So it turns out - communication, it seems to be a lot, but the quality of it can be chrome in comparison with what was (maybe, of course, it also happens).
What is a man doing with all this? Well, there are options.
1. To know that the decree is a hard test. Already the very fact of this knowledge helps adequately treat all the difficulties and difficulties of this period.
2. To facilitate the life of the wife as much as possible. Yes, a man after work I want to relax, well, so the woman also wants to relax. It will be fair if both working day will be long in which everyone does as much as possible. This is a parent, baby, here - like this.
3. Remember that the wife especially needs thanks and support, and give all this as much as possible.
4. Regularly giving the wife "dismissal" so that it could meet with friends or even just stroll through the park (such a walk, by the way, is not the worst way to increase the area of control in your life - at least walk, at least a week, But control!).
5. (for women) give her husband to read this note. Immediately, of course, I will not agree, but then, when everything counts, it will come to the right decision.
And I have everything, thanks for your attention.