Poland Pavl Zygmantich gives a simple, practical advice, how to keep love in marriage.
Is it possible to live to a golden wedding? Is it possible to get married once and forever? Such questions often come - both at trainings, and in webinars, and in the mail.
My answer is standard. Of course, you can.
Fundamentally preserving love more than three years and a durable happy marriage for life - possible. It is only necessary to know some of the features of human behavior, and these features consider.
Today I will tell you about the simple prevention of a part of the family tragedies (divorces, scandals, quarrels). This method is quite accessible to the overwhelming majority of people.
Let's start with the fact that the presence of a close person next to us is nice. Actually, he is because it's close that we are pleased with his presence nearby. Or - so you can say - it is because it's nice that close.
At the same time, the presence of another person necessarily imposes on us some additional tasks. Namely - it is necessary to take into account his interests.
A simple example. A man worked a lot all week, and on Saturday wants to sleep until the evening. And the wife wants them to go together to her parents - help in the country.
And the puzzle begins. To give it to? His? Who will change their desire, and who implements their own? Every time everything is solved extremely individually. As they say - "in every hut your rattles."
Friends, it is very important to understand: life in a pair (and even more so in the family) is always accompanied by the linking of their desires with the desires of loved ones. Otherwise, as soon as a person ceases to linger, the relationship immediately end and family tragedies go around.
And if all the time you have to lift your interesting and interests of loved ones, it means that all the time you have to strain the gyms and think a lot. You have to restrain those or other gusts. It is necessary to search for these gusts more or less safe for those surrounding ways of expression.
What is the result? Fatigue.
Sometimes this condition is called "life of the house." Not in life. The fact is that at some point the person gets tired of constantly strangling and linake. At some point, acute appears, to pain in the teeth, the desire to dispose of their time independently, without regard to others.
Sometimes such a desire is prevailing in vague and a person can no longer stay in the family and rubs the head of the right-left, burns bridges and crops. I say, everything is tired, I, they say, I want a free life! Give!
Then, however, it comes to break, but already - late.
Why does such a desire appear? This is a manifestation of the deep (possibly - basic) phenomenon of a person - a key condition for the happiness of a person is Control over your own life . In a situation where it is constantly falling and linked, such a control is greatly reduced as you understand.
How to be? How not to bring to the tragedy, to a divorce, before something irreparable.
The answer to the surface is to engage in prevention. Namely - give yourself a "two days of silence."
Two days of control
About silence is for a red sense, and two days is a completely clear time. I explain.
An hour or two spent in privacy can be said - alone, a man is rarely enough for recovery. It usually needs more. And not at home, while all your sleep, but somewhere in a completely different place. At the cottage, for example. In a sanatorium. At the resort. In a tour in another city.
That is, literally - once every six months it makes sense to collect a road suitcase and decrease two days away from the family.
Why two days? So that the spouse (spouse) is not worried about the topic of cheating. The first two or three days (and sometimes four), the person just "suits". Flaws on the beach, walks according to the procedures, sleeps to breathtomasses, dangles through the streets and stresses at the sights. The main thing is that you don't need anything to link anyone, your time is yours and only yours. Control over it is yours completely. At last!
Interest in romantic adventure wakes up (if wakes up) only on the fifth-sixth days of resting alone.
It turns out that for the rest of two days more or less enough, and for the treason - no. Prevention remains useful for marriage and at the same time safe.
When does it make sense to start such prevention? General recommendation - three years after the wedding. In each case, of course, the deadlines may change, but in general - in three years.
Who has children - a year after birth, you need to start exactly. Moreover, for people "deet" intervals and duration are calculated separately.
Well, the last question is whether such prevention of panacea? No, of course, is not. But if it is not done, then the love of love is much, much more difficult.
Propulate on health!