American Writer and Columnist, and most importantly, happy husband and dad Kirk Pinchon found the secret of great weather in the house. He is convinced that the happiness of the pair is best holding on ... Hate. Important refinement: hate it is not necessary for each other, but the same thing.
My wife hates the restaurant chain Olive Garden. She finds their kitchen as a small. Invitation to Olive Garden for my wife is akin to skill directly by the most non-festive bread sticks, which they give out in an unlimited quantity. Invite her to dinner there - it's all the same that to cross ourselves from the list of her friends. I have the same feelings for Olive Garden, and our common hatred for this institution has been supporting our marriage for more than 13 years.
How wonderful you have with my wife's common interests, it is so difficult to find something that unites a couple as hate to the same things.
In fact, the smaller and the common thing and the stronger hate to her, the better the relationship. Nelyubov to the same meal, music and, yes, I will say it out loud, other parents can become a huge experience of community for both of both.
I will give an example. Sometimes it happened that while dinner in the restaurant with your expensive half in the conversation arose calm, but not from the lack of topics for conversations, and from the fact that you have long been familiar and talk about everything? And in this calm you drop the replica about how you really infuriates the font, which is used here in the menu, and your spouse fully agrees with you, and you both start discussing how terrifyingly font Courier font, and this hostility gives a spark and even leads to long, deep conversations on topics, do not have relation to fonts at all?
Such is the power of the overall dislike, and this power is almost as great as if you both adored the Courier font. (Although I can not imagine why anyone can adore him).
Part of the attractiveness of hate to the same things is that it makes it easier for decision making. If a friend asks me, we do not want to come to a costume party in honor of Halloween, I do not need to consult my wife. I already know that the answer will be the lengthy "no". We both tolerate can't stand the costumes. This is exact opposite of pleasure. We will not go to a costume party, and the point, and now we go better to eat sushi.
Despite the fact that people are unfinished in this confusing (one more thing, the dislike of which we enjoy: the word "intolerable"), each of us has a familiar couple of parents, whom we just do not love, and that's it. But it is better than to have a guilt for it or hide it from the spouse, accept this fact. MiG, in which you both voiced your disgust for those parents, there is the MiG that love flources. Potual discussion of how other parents turn with their children can be as pleasant as a game of golf. (Something else, which we never do, as my wife and I came to full consent in contempt for golf).
Open that your half shares dislubs to you to something, damn it, it's like re-falling in love. After all years spent by us together, my wife still does not know that I can not be near the karaoke of any kind and variety. For me there is no such thing as "having a karaoke", and my wife felt the same, but died in the ignorance, that this feeling with her mutually. So, when we found that both are experiencing the strongest disgust for anyone who will gallop in the "Don't Stop Believin" bar, it was how to survive a honeymoon again if you understand what I am talking about.
Yes, in marriage it is necessary to love the same thing, but this does not mean that one of the things you could love cannot be a general contempt for some unpleasant phenomena. Without a doubt, love is sweet, but sometimes love needs in a pinch of peppers. Hate to the same thing gives you the necessary sharpness.
If I could just convince my wife to start hateing and films with vampires ... Our love would become limitless.
Text Source: Pinchon Kirk ColumnTranslation: Lilith Mazikina