Because there is a nonsense chance not to survive. Or survive, but leave the paw in the cabp. And jumping further for a long time, while children become independent. It would be necessary to remain as much as possible.
Maybe somewhere in the mysterious Dahls of children and divide equally, and they also ride them there, so as not to be bored. And in our realities, children will remain with you and only with you. Perhaps you will get a little alimony.
What do you leave - and we remember, in most Russian divorces the initiator is a woman - what's the difference. Once I decided to leave - our business.
And you will get enough, get up to your feet - you decide what's next.
"Initiator" does not mean "the culprit"
Even if you leave, it is not necessary to consider yourself a disadvantaged family. From that family, maybe a long time one empty shell remained. Someone is changed, someone has family money steal, with some years they have sex solely at 6 am, with sleeping. And in the evening there is no, sorry, not today. Someone in the house can not put a bottle of alcohol. If one of two believes that marriage end is the marriage end.
If you leave, because the prince from Monaco to your yacht from Monaco to your yacht ... then with your fault you will understand myself, and do not need additional discussions. So anyone who will inspire you, what kind of kicker you are, which ruined such a wonderful family, goes to the garden.
Don't try to stay friends
If the spark flashed between you at least once in my life, if you had some passion at all, God forbid you to try to make a good mine and stay friends, to enter the situation and all that.
You are parents of common children. You have duties in relation to these children. Somehow forced to fulfill these duties of another person is impossible even in marriage. Without a marriage, you have two options - to score (and, by the way, this is a great method to fight back from the benevolers and inner self-named. "Such was a great husband, say? Yes, he doesn't even pay alimony! Nafiga is it for us?") Or scratch it through court.
If through the court you shines more than on the passage - maybe it makes sense. By the way, it is worth remembering that former husbands have a fun tendency to forget about oral agreements about helping children, barely have a new personal life. And she will arise.
And maybe. If he does what promises. If your new man got acquainted with him, said "You really have a good taste. But I was lucky more. " If the children are slowly accustomed to his new and jokingly call her stepmother. If his new calls you to complain about him, and you rzate together - then, then you can become friends. But still keep the distance.
It's not your war
What would he have not played now, whatever he would do, whoever remains, and whatever he says - it does not concern you. This is no longer your problems. Of course, he can call and ask a special voice "What a demonstration? Why are you Ruffrendil in all grids? " What you need to answer a light voice "And this so that you have not seen my swords, of course."
Wants to communicate with children - let them communicate directly. No child's phone? Let it buy. This is not your head.
Do not discuss the reasons for divorce with children
You can and need to discuss the consequences. We will now live there. So that. With such people. Dad will be video with you then (here is a dangerous moment, do not forget to insert "he says so". And then the dad promises new skates and all the world in addition, and he does not come at all - and you will not rake the consequences ).
If there is a controversial moment, call the former in Skype with a child on his knees, and politely say "Sorry, Victor, Tanya does not fully understand - to wait for you on this weekend or not. Explain to her, please. " And then calmly come out of the frame.
At the accusations that you substitute him - with a clean conscience, answer that you do not answer for his relationship with children, and they are not obliged to rake. Your duty is not to talk about the children of nasty, so you do not speak them.
And the causes of divorce with children can only be discussed if the children are already so adults that you can roll vodka with them. According to the degree of pedagogy, it is about the same.
Ask for help and take it
We wrote somehow how to help the girlfriend - so they separated this post to everyone who asks "what to help you." You have a difficult period now. Minus Mozgozha from the dying relationship, minus household service of an adult, plus the inevitable anxiety and neurosis in semi-hardened children, minus those money that the former conquer to the family.
We are here, as I remember, it happened and settled on the money after the divorce - a man eats to eat, and I wondered five thousand per month in a vow. But, if you decided to divorce, not bringing to such an absurd - then it will become more difficult with money. And the opportunity to go somewhere even less often, especially if children are not high school students.
Ask for help. You will not always be freshly sacred. You will soon stop sausage sooner or later, the children will again or later take place alignment and will also stop giving the country of coal, everything will be satisfied, in general. Then you can help return. Or convey further.
Be with your children how much power allows
According to the aircraft principle - put on an oxygen mask 1. On the child. Even if these are students who knew almost about all dads, your decision to disperse is sorely and traumatic, like a fire from their children's toys.
"So, everything that I learned from them is not working?" It is clear that they are fruitful. Another question is that it is impossible to make a drain pipe for this negative. Use the method "So, children, I went to make you mom" and come cheerful and cheering. And the gap Skalni grandmother, nanny or his queue.
Again my mother in everything is to blame? I will go, I'm alone to drink coffee. I have a divorce, I worry, and you sit alone. Woke up? Let's eat ice cream? Or go to the bathroom to rush to paint?
It is also useful to hang a boxing pear in the house. Aggression you have all the roofs now, well have to have it to sell with benefits. And the children, looking at Mom, with screams with a piggy swab, stop counting the mother boring. Even if they could have so much thought - because a person is in a state of permanent self-control "No, I'm not roaring. I will not die. I have things to do. So, we go to kindergarten ... "It usually looks exactly what is gray and boring.
There is an opportunity to go somewhere with children - count your strength and decide who you will wear an oxygen mask. If yours is already in place - then we care about children. Maybe part of the trip to blame on someone, and to pick it up only half. But half the children need to pay - it is very scary to feel that the second parent is already being left.
Valya Fool
Here, honestly, no one will see how the three of the whole day were lying in bed and sang Pierrot from the Soviet film:
You are friends with children, actually.
Second marriage: how to love someone else's child?
