In the public consciousness, a man in the kitchen calls two, at first glance, contrary to each other thesis: "Men are the best cooks" and "Monkey with a grenade". But who said the monkey with a grenade can not cook?
CAPRICORN
Capricorn man, in theory, can be mastered in the kitchen without special devastating consequences for the galaxy, if it were not for one "but" in the form of idiots writing recipes on the Internet. "Two eggs" is understandable. "Two hundred grams of flour" - ok. But what is, I am wildly apologizing: "Salt and spices to taste"? To taste - how much? Where is the standard? Who measured? And this here is the portion lawlessness occurs in nine out of ten proposed recipes. "The dough should not stick to the hands" - an excellent criterion, bravo, brick, too, will not stick to the hands. As a result, Capricorn either invents its own dishes, or it is shot asking to blame July V. from the culinary forum and its life credo: "I chase on the eye."
AQUARIUS
Male Aquarius is too high to take care of the struck. He writes the novel and cooks pasta with sausages. Because from food (as well as from a woman, as from life, in general), Aquarius requires only one: it should be simple, understandable, regular and not touched. However, periodically, insight, insight, and the Aquarius decides to weld the Solyanka. Opens the refrigerator, it looks inside for a long time, sighs, cooks pasta with sausages and returns to the novel. If Aquarius says: "I did Sushi," he was most likely wrapped in Nori. And then the Aquarius receives a nobelly in literature, and, under the outbreaks, the TV cameer answering the question: "Why did you call your novel" Pasta with sausages "?", Smiles and fight that it was such a metaphor.
FISH
Male fish prepares rarely, as worried that nothing will come out, and canned and so tasty. But if the male fish suddenly cooks, it is terribly nervous, hysteriate, waving his hands and talks with onions, causing him to "be offended, but not to burn." And when the cooking process comes to an end, the fish proudly raise the chin and condescendingly expect them to praise. No, not just a wife. In the next week, the best cook in the world will even talk to Zavende, approximately, like this: "Mikhalych, right now Petrovich will arrive, you will wear him slate on the invoice and, by the way, I have been welded here, you would have been welded, my wife pleased." The wife of fish-smarts at the same time should bloom in a gentle violet and raise happy eyes to her husband - it is impossible to chelek, he carefully tracks the reaction.
ARIES
A man-Aries is preparing not bad, but only the fact that he whispering from the head cockroach. And God forbid, it will be a cockroach of healthy nutrition - the story knows a man-Aries, who managed to cook (cook, Charles), a dozen salmon steaks (salmon steaks, Lord), because - Attention! - "Just more useful." And the mountain of a woman who does not share the idea that the body is the temple of the soul and should be wonderful, so we eat the protein powder cocktail today, the celery and a compote from the plantain. But, glory to the creator, at least half of the Aries - Gourmet and Sibarites, so they are prepared in a frying pan and with butter.
CALF
Male Taurus - creating strong and completely impenetrable. The creature, which is rotating a dozen matadors with a light lift of sharp horns, is not afraid of any carcinogens, nor GMO, nor there is some sewing cholesterol. A male Taurus prepares with a scope, with talent and with pleasure everything that weighs more than five hundred calories for bite. Therefore, the main danger of the Taurus is not for himself, but for others. For you can courageously sit on a diet of any degree of sadism. You can be a raw, vegetarian, a yazennik or allergic - it all loses its meaning when you stand a big, kind man-taurus and gently says: "Well, another piece", persistently having fluttering with sharp horns.
TWINS
Gemini man prepares like God, but only "their company" and only on holidays. On the other days, the twin men: a) busy; b) He was lazy. "His brand" in a twin man can be anyone (from the Napoleon cake, to Rib-Aya from New Zealand, this is important, veal), but certainly expanded. To go and stupidly weld the buckwheat men twins, of course, maybe, but will consider yourself humiliated and offended. Cooking should be a sacrament, and the result is obliged to tear the turbulent prolonged applause, otherwise the twin does not play.
CANCER
Usually timid, shy and intelligent man-cancer in the kitchen feels the king of the mountain. He has congenital talent of the Michelin cook, and he can cook anything, to envy all the girlfriends of the chief of cancer. It is here that the catch is lurking - the cancer may not be girlfriends. For cancer is not only shy and timid, it is also prudent to paranoia. And it knows exactly that the women usually enter the ruble, the exit - three. So it's easier to learn to cook. And the more tastier it turns out, the longer he was waiting for you.
A LION
The man-lion is able to cook any dish. Any degree of complexity and any kitchen in the world. Lunch for twenty persons? No problems! Dinner for thirty? Yes please! The process of cooking at the lion looks like, as follows: the lion sits in the chair, throws the leg behind the leg and speaks to the phone: "Hello, is this a restaurant? I'd like to order". In those rare cases when evil fate still throws a lion man into the kitchen, it can figure out the sausage figure and fill the wine into a decanter to face it correctly. But to clean the fish? Sorry, do you accurately contact me?
VIRGO
Men-Virgin has a certain set of dishes: two dishes in the "first" category, bokings, three samples and compote. Is this Virgo and prepares once with a persistence of a Sisif, who does not occur to bypass the mountain - suddenly there is no longer such a cool? Perhaps the Virgin is not suspected that there are still some kind of potatoes in the world, except for "boil". But, most likely, the rational man-maiden simply does not see the logic in diversifying the diet, if the current option works perfectly. Why do we dubious experiments and ridiculous tears in the morning?
LIBRA
When preparing a man-scale, you can shoot it, lay out on a U-tuber and waking up a millionaire. First, the main solution is made: cook or well? Then the panic begins - and what exactly is to cook, because everything is so tasty! Next follows a series of oscillations between delicious and helpful. Then with such labor, the decision is made compared with the contents of the refrigerator, and everything starts first. The bullet is that, regardless of the result (which may be more than decent), each deciduous decision is reflected on the face of men-scales pain of Hamlet in the execution of Smoktunovsky: Salad or Omelet - this is what is the question? Decently to humble under the blows of Destiny Ile, we must have resistance and make a borscht?
SCORPIO
Male Scorpio is preparing, having spoiled on the result, because it enjoys the process. Scorpions are so arranged - they enjoy any process. And, ideally, turn it into the show, so voluntary helpers are extremely desirable, they are the audience. This is this Tomny Women's Erotic Fantasy: I am such a lie and look at the theory of a big explosion, and he goes naked, but in the aprona is a fantasy scorpion. He will easily hit the apron on negligee, turns his bare booty - and somehow it is not very important that it is he who prepares.
SAGITTARIUS
Skill has a skill "Great Master of Cooking". Exactly one dish. He does not prepare anything else, but his horse sells trorge, with pathos and serving. Great masters know that the talent cannot be sprayed, and to achieve real perfection, you need to beat one year for years, it's any master Kung Fu to tell you. Accordingly, guests are called not "come to us for dinner", and "come to us on the pilaf, Shuchpu, Khachapuri, a cheese boot, you need to emphasize." And the guests are so, with a breath: "Oh-oh, that the same bouter with cheese, Omnom, we already called a taxi."
Alexandra Smilaanskaya