Well, ok, everyone understood that we would not burn in hell for masturbation. There were no eyewitnesses. All girls and boys do it, uncle and aunt, too, even moms, dads, grandparents, maybe if you do not knit and do not swim the beds in the country. Because not caught - not onanist! But here are the stories of those who caught up.
Oral pleasure
I was 14. I remember, I was at the beginning of a very cool "session" with an electric toothbrush, how suddenly the dad entered the room. I did not find something to say, so I closed my eyes and fastened: "Get out!". Then I heard him leaving and whispers loudly: "Lord, I hope it is not my toothbrush!" Now he keeps his brush separately and does not put into the overall cup.
Congratulations! This is a banana!
I was about 13th and I was very curious. The information was, but how to apply it, I did not know. In short, to "enjoy pleasure," I put in a peeled banana. And half of the banana remained in me. And I had to, almost "give birth" the stuck part.
Sword
Did you know that the sperm glows at ultraviolet light? It became known to me at the age of 15, when we were tusque with friends.
Once in the bathroom
I was 11-12 and I only discovered the charms of self-satisfaction. It was best that it took place in the bathroom. I knew something about penetration, so I decided to go further outdoor affection and tried with a hat from the shampoo that penetrated much deeper. I could not pull it out myself. Therefore, in a panic and tears rushed to mom. Her face was unique: it expressed a mixture of fear, disgust, mockery and at the same time the question "are you exactly my child?". For about five minutes, she leaning the cap from me. Since then, our relationship is very strong and relatives.
Guacamole for all
Once I prepared Guacamole for a friendly picnic and after I added Khalapeno and finished cooking, I decided to reset the tension a little. Ha! Vagina "caught fire" almost instantly. Whether I need to tell that I missed the picnic and spent all the time in a cold bath, and when I got out anyway I kept a package with ice at the pubic.
Spider
I enjoy binding. And in one of these moments, younger brother entered my room. I had to explain to a very long time that it was.
Bloody mark
I was 11-12 and I handled in bed when I finished, I saw the blood on my fingers and sheets, I thought myself crippled. It turned out, it was the first monthly.
Long hand of the law
When I was in college, I was called me to meet friends, I did not want to go on foot, and I went to the neighbor to ask her to throw me on the car, and at that time it was masturbated under the series "Law and Order" at that time.
Wet dreams
I once lit up for this business on the floor of the bathroom, when I suddenly entered my mother. Then in the morning she said that she had a very strange dream.
Art lesson
We had a strange guy in the drawing lesson, which all the time kept his hand under the desk. It seemed to me that strange and I slapped on the desk. The dude was frightened and ran out of a broken shirina from the class, watering the sperm of all in the aisle. The teacher did not notice anything at all until everyone began to yell.
Note
I walked school on a note that sick. For four hours I handled 14 times, almost twisted myself inside out until the blood went. Mom caused an ambulance and took me to the hospital.
Do not hurry, granddu
I calmly masturbated in my room when my grandmother suddenly entered. She looked at me literally a second, although it seemed to me that eternity. And then said: "Oh, sorry, not hurry." And came out. We never remembered it.
Good manners
My friends always call me and call somewhere just when I am masturbating. And I'm just right away: "Well, what do you? I'm busy with this business. " And they immediately in response: "And why then took the phone?!". Well, I can not answer the call.
Home video
In short, once I recorded myself when masturbated on the video tape. I do not remember where she is then going. Apparently, it was somehow used to be used, overwriting anyone. And then, 10 years later, my wife decided to surprise homemade video. All reckled and began to watch. And in the middle of the video, suddenly in the "mounting gluing" I appear with a member sticking out the progress. My mother's face and guests are difficult to describe. I never ran so quickly from home.
