Even when the divorce is long-awaited happiness, it often turns out with a huge stress for a woman. Usually, almost or already a former husband tries very hard, but his or her relatives and her relatives help him. There is nothing to say that if a woman has a child, the quality of life of the remaining family falls sharply.
Believe me if your friend is divorced, the likelihood that she needs your help, seeks to a hundred percent. And before helping, it is necessary to define the front of work.
1. The rule of questions to which only "yes" and "no", act here
A woman often cannot formulate accurate requests, because it does not understand where the line is decent, and it is afraid to cross it. When assistance options are offered, you are okay and face. You may also understand what to say "come, let me dishes, she accumulated in a week, I look at her and I feel that I can't cope and even touch her," it's much more difficult to answer the question of a friend " Maybe I will come, I will help you dishes, at the same time I drink tea and chat? " At the time of stress, the woman often becomes more indecisive, she has self-esteem and she is afraid to bother others, even if we are talking about something vital.
2. Do not put your life for help
If a friend is a good man, she would not want huge sacrifices from your side. If bad, then you should not. Offer such assistance that does not exist from your life and forces of a big piece. Of course, there are exceptions - if, except for each other, you have no one to rely on anyone. In all other cases, all one or two pursions per week or, if a friend is more like a friend, to suggest the help of it, normally.
3. Very often a woman in divorce must be offered
And this, unfortunately, is not a one-time process. If you agreed to meet and just chat, be ready that you will talk, most likely, about almost or already former. Even if you do not meet in order to chat, you will listen to everything about him. Girlfriend now hardly controls itself. So proceed from your extrovership resources and at the very beginning strictly define (and do not hide from a friend) time regulations: Are you twenty minutes to her or overnight?
4. Almost one hundred percent need help in interaction with the former
Since to erase the traces of his presence in the apartment (collect and throw out socks and discs), because the girlfriend is scary or hard to see these items and touch them. Finishing in order to attend next to the girlfriend at the moments when she has to meet with him. And she has to. After all, it is necessary to pick up or encounter in court. Most of the most nasty and aggressive former are not solved to attack a woman if there is at least one witness nearby. If the former one of those who witnesses do not stop, you can help, lent to escort your husband, brother, friend or responsive two-meter colleague. (And if in you two meters both over two meters and shoulders the regional championship in karate, and there is nothing to say how you can come in handy a woman-tuning).
5. Very often a woman, especially with a child, nowhere to go and nothing
Do not even ask how she decided to divorce in such conditions. Maybe this husband decided. Maybe she hoped for helping relatives, and with relatives everything turned out to be difficult. If none of the girlfriends can not be so easily taken and settle at home / in the storage room / on the antlesol, a woman with children, then you can negotiate a circular "part" system. "Visiga" is when one person lives a few days from another, helping home or with children as a gratitude. It is better to live in turn at the girlfriends, nomads with a sports bag in one hand and a child in another than to return to a dangerous aggressive asshole. At least when women have a choice, they usually choose exactly the "parties". As for the situation, when a woman has a housing, but there is no income, then for a start, you can help with other friends to help with other girlfriends, and somewhere after a half months a month to help find work and addiction to a new chart of life.
6. Yes, she needs help with life
You can be sure. Very often divergent women suffer from clinical depression - optionally because of the divorce process itself, more often due to the fact that he was preceded. A person in depression may not be enough forces on elementary hygienic self-service. So boldly offer assistance from: cooking, washing dishes or sex, disordering cabinets, permutation of furniture and in general by any household process that will come to your head.
7. Help needed with a child
Although many women are difficult to recognize - and it sounds, it seems blasphemous! "But with a child pulls a lot of strength." Perhaps a friend is now simply necessary for someone to walk with her daughter, while she goes to court or shopping, and raised snowflakes with her son while she simply lies and sleep or prepares dinner.
8. Do not give her world to collapse
A woman is now very important from time to time to go into a large world not only for products or some kind of certificate for the court. It is important for her to feel that her life is not spinning from now on exclusively around survival with the child. So, if your resources allow, pull it out to walk into the park, watch the movies, sit in the network restaurant, play board games in Antikafe. Even if your girlfriend is an introvert, it will still be globally easier for it.
9. Forget for the time of consolations of the format "Do not cry"
If she could, she would not cry. And now she can even be very shameful, but she does not cope with it. On the contrary, let us understand that the moment for the tears is just suitable and then everything will pass.
10. Just be on her side
Against girlfriend now, most likely: a former husband, relatives, grafted cockroaches about family values of the format "Let at least a knife cuts, and it is necessary to preserve the family!" And the cruel world, which is, where it will take money to utility payments and a gun with milk for breakfast. You need her next, even if you do nothing. Truth.