Everything in this light, what happens between people seems to us eternal. After all, and in the fifteenth century, a woman loved a man, and in the seventeenth - mother loved children, and in nineteenth people were friends with each other ...
In fact, such a representation, of course, false. The word for love did not change, but she herself is like. And the love of the Japanese Age of Hayene could very shock you in a collision with her in practice. Even under parental love now and, for example, thirty years ago, there are completely different types of relationships. About public requirements for parental care could be completely silent. But we will not. We, on the contrary, we will remind you how many moms and dads of the eighties-nineties from the parents of zero and tenths are very different.The child may be hurt!
It seems astounding, but during our childhood for the absolute majority of adult crying, screams, the child's concern with painful medical procedures or, for example, a stretching on the circles of dances and gymnastics was perceived as Blaries and whims that need to overcome. For what you do hurt, you were shaked! And in our time, pediatricians of the new generation say out loud, that if the massage is too painful, it will not only not help, but, on the contrary, hurts. Many coaches refuse crumpled stretching practices and go to the same to adults in fitness centers. And parents finally began to console children after an injection or other unpleasant procedure.
Tymiezochka
We recognize the phrase perfectly existed for decades and poisoned the life of not one of us. But such madness around the simple fact of the female child was not before. In the eighties and the ninetie majority of tyshotos, they still did not put on the love of sports and simply moving games, scientific curiosity, a fight for the sake of defending the girls's honor, the desire to wear pants and indifference to pink, lilac and lilac flowers. On the current girls, it seems to be tightened by invisible corsets.
Attitude to health
Parents on average became much more carefully for the health of children and much more persistent in matters of the requirement of medical care, when a closed pediatrician has not yet noticed anything, and his mother with dad has already found oddities. Perhaps the reason for this is the uncertainty that if the disease is launched, it will be possible to obtain normal treatment. Even in the nineties to official medicine hoped much more than now.Pelainka
Our parents believed that chemless pelleins should not touch the baby. Whether he will be sick, or something scary. And today's increasingly followed by the Pediatrician Council to avoid the ironing of the lower and bed linen for kids: so, they say, the skin is better breathing in it. Moreover, the epidemological situation in our homes is good and hard folds, thanks to the shelter for linen, there are no more on the sinks after drying.
School program
In the eighties and nineties, they expected the school herself will give knowledge. Well, maybe you have to hire a tutor, so that the child knows a better foreign language or prepared for profile subjects to join the university. Now payment of tutors or circles according to the most common school disciplines (and not at all for in-depth study!) It is included in most family budgets, where the child is Doros to school. Naturally, time and money on the circles of interest remains much less. Children have to go to those hobbies that can be learned on the video on the Internet, and to cooperate in social networks to share experiences and boast the result.Food
The motto of the eighties - the child should eat tightly. In the nineties, the child was supposed to eat, and not to sort out food. Now the main thing is to take the use of nutrition. Chips in the hands of first grades are able to cause many surrounding seas. For a minute, the mother's mother-in-law feeding the mother for a minute suffers from conscience remorse. Picture of a teenager, a full cholesterol fried chicken, will cause a flurry of angry comments. Food for children (and moreover, not at all for the kids of the nashelnoy age), it is perpetrated, causingly discussed in the Internet. But no one else makes it harder.
Motivation
Most of our parents in principle did not think over such a way of interaction with the child. It is necessary - it means that it is necessary. You will learn bad - you will become a janitor. You will learn well - you will become a teacher and you will get as a janitor, but to work warm. And you do not want to ass? Our children recognize seem to be only a conscious need. Well, that is, it is necessary to convince what is really necessary, and normally explain why. Takes a lot of time and strength, but whether it works better than old good threats - so far only to figure out. Scientists have become argued that light stress contributes to the study of the new. Light, we said.Children have an opinion
It is not necessary to agree with him, and many are in no hurry to take into account, but it is no longer denying as a fact. Question "Yes, what would you have an opinion, in the third class?" - Note of our childhood, but, fortunately, not our offspring.
No key on the neck
In most families of the eighties-ninetieth children, he was growing up to school, growled and before walking around the city or sit at home alone, calmly burda cold cutlets or sandwiches with margarine and sugar. Now on the Internet, parents say that children by law do not have the right to be left without adults up to 12 years. And indeed, to see the eleven, a quietly passing lively street at the intersection, it became difficult. Whether the law is exactly there, whether everything believes in it.
Personal space
The personal space of children is still actively violated by the parents themselves, but in general, at least it is recognized. The presence of your room or a corner for the child began to be considered mandatory - we were stuck, where they could, and if proudly owned the rooms (usually a couple with a brother or sister), then the parents came there without a knock and constraint. The apartment after all, they, it means, and the room too, we were simply given there to sleep and sit. If we find a diary of a child and look into it, we will then torment the flour of conscience. Our diaries looked at the ease of readers on the subscription.Talk about sexual safety
Our parents seem to be afraid that if you warn about pedophiles, violences, young barely, about how it all happens and how to avoid it, then we are too interested in sex and immediately go outside in a prostitute. Moreover, often, if the fact of bearing or rape popped up, to the girls of our generation and treated, as to the dried whores, regardless of age, in which they were injured. So most preferred to be silent. We finally moved focus of attention from the victim on a rapist (at least if the victim was or can be our child) and, mekay, beying, blushing and sweating from nutugal and awkwardness, conduct preventive conversations.
How did we survive?
The question that is so loved to be puzzled in the Internet and which sometimes you want to answer: miracle. The point is not that our parents did not try. The fact is that, first of all, the Soviet pedagogy considered the child primarily not as a person, but as the preparation of the future builder of communism. Everything that distracted from the manufacturing process of the builder was considered secondary, and the voices in defense of the accounting of individuality were weak and timid. And, secondly, our parents were really no time. In the 1980s, many mothers were engaged in what they got. No, not Ponte jeans and tape recorders, but unevenly thrown on the counter: boots, vegetables or fruits, toilet paper ... Yes, and life was much severe than now. Behind the washing-cleaning-preparation (all by hand and from the raw raw materials!) The time and strength on children did not really remain. In the end, this was removed for us, we were caught and fed. In the nineties, parents were engaged in family survival. Many mothers have become single, and many are "shutouts" and market venders with an abnormal working day. We were given as much as they could. As we do now, based on our increased opportunities and new difficulties of time (problems with education, for example). The question is not too trying, it seems that only fools are raised ... and scientists who began to say that children deprived of "ordinary" children's dangers, for example, a little risky walks in nature or opportunities that gave the playground, seek new opportunities to risk . Much more dangerous than we expect. Perhaps the next generation will ask not "Why didn't parents shake us over us?", And "why did you shake on us?" And come from many of our prosbigs and horror methods. Who knows.
But, honestly, it's still good that now the child has an opinion and personal space.