On this beautiful day we want to talk about sex. In principle, you can speak infinitely and all the time to learn something new, but it was today that we would like to talk about sex in uncomfortable places.
People love to brag around how they fucked on the 14th floor balcony in aqualing standing in a hammock, but we want to open the whole truth to you: this is wildly uncomfortable. An illusory attempt to diversify his sex life actually leads to external restrictions and injuries.Sex in the car
No, we are not talking about Monto to the driver at speed. We are talking about safe sex in a parked car. So, if you have a giant "Chrysler" or a big black jeep, then there is simply a little dirty and very romantic. If you have a golf class or less machine, then it is monstrously uncomfortable. So much that it is easier to get out of the car and put / put a girl on the hood. To have sex in Daewoo Matiz is really a real perversion, believe me there. The number of poses is limited, the legs are impossible. Legends that in the car can not do it in high-heeled shoes. We are disavowed - to rebuild your legs and break through the roof with heels, the girl should be a liliput-gymnast.Sex on the carpet
In each Soviet apartment there is a carpet, right? And if there is a carpet, you need to have sex on it. This is an excellent find for lovers of bdsm and light injuries. The carpet leaves disgusting abrasions on the knees, similar to burns. On the other hand, in Japan, a country of very lonely perverts, sold, by rumors, a special plaster with such false burns. So that the girls stick it to the knees and proudly demonstrated as a sign that they live sex life.Sex on the beach
There are only two options: either the sand that will be in all places, or pebbles, which will instruct the bruises everywhere. And we still don't talk anything about sand fleas!Sex on hayman
Russian writers challenged this strange activity from the last century, and we can only refer to the real estate crisis - probably so you can, if there is nothing more. Sex in the haystack requires a known acrobatics, more complicated in weightlessness. Grass is rigid and prick. Falling from a high height leads to bruises and fractures. And if you are also allergic, then you just risk life.Sex in the field
Open-air, in the disintegration, under the warm May sun, under the bumblebee bumblebee ... a minute! First, in the field it is usually not bumblebees, but the wonds and blind. One bite - and you will be swollen so much that it will not seem little. Secondly, the dispersion is hard and ourselves, and it is at best, in the worst there is nettle and other poisonous and allergenic plants. Open area is always a chance to get acquainted with the collective farmers who will warmly evaluate the charms of your chosen and give you advice. Well, there is still a chance that a combine will move you.Sex in the plane
All have already boast that they fucked in the toilet of the plane? There is very close, but relatively clean, and that someone drank beer at the airport and now it urgently needs it - it just excites it, right? What really excites? And some still manage to do it right in the cabin, in chairs, somewhere in the tail, when the plane is filled not to the end. And there is very closely (worse than in Daewoo Matiz) and a lot of people. In short, we are against.Sex in the train toilet
The train is always romance. Chukhchukh, Chukhchukh, the wagon is touching, the Perron will remain, the smell of resin, fellow travelers ... and incredible, exempted, monstrously dirty sorter, from which everything falls right on the sleepers. They say there are trains with a relatively honest toilet. As it is technically possible, if there is a train pitching, we do not understand, so as not to say worse. We have not yet come across clean train toilets yet, and the smell of urine does not really excite.Sex in the kitchen
Favorite Hollywood place. If the passion found you right at the stove, do not go about 15 meters to the bedroom. True, in movies, there is always a massive and very clean table, a cooled plate and strong chairs. In reality, the table is covered with a smooth layer of bread crumbs, a stove hot and dirty, and the dining tables from the "Ikea" with difficulty withstand the weight of the plates, not to mention a passionate pair.Sex at the dacha
There are two options here. The first is a family cottage with parents. The second is a large drunk youth company with several pairs. In both cases, it is necessary to understand that the wooden house has excellent acoustics, which is not doing with him, what insulation do not block. This is a feature of the design. So if you are an exhibitionist and always dreamed of sex inside the violin, you are here. When someone has sex in the country, everyone else hears the singing of each spring, each moan, each sob and snap. For some reason, girls suffer from this most from this, who have two options at the cottage with their parents. Either her mother hears her, and the girls do not like to do it in mom, or (potential) mother-in-law. Then everything will be like a joke: "As she lies, the boy is uncomfortable." In a youth company, boys suffer: there is always an element of the competition with perfect acoustics. Start all about simultaneously, and then it is necessary to listen all the time. "Gray has already finished, weakl. Vasya something unexigated some kind of lazy. Colin girl yells unlikely. Oh, and I'm already all, and I have no, there is no shame. "Sex on the piano
The piano is large, massive and lacquered, that is, always cold. Keep this in mind when you put the girl on him. If you fuck on the keyboard, it will sound like an atomal improvisation, and it will muffle all the other sounds that is not bad. True, the tool can hurt much; Nothing such that would not repack a good customer, but he will know what you did on his instrument and will not approve it. Inside the box, right on strings is a story for extremals and masochists, besides, if some string burst, it will cause severe injuries. Outside, on the lid - almost nothing different from sex on the table, only the piano is much higher, it will have to take into account when choosing a posture. But the main thing - the right to sex on the piano have only pianists or at least those who went to music school. All other we advise you to save on the bed and a separate apartment.