How terrible it sounds, today about a quarter of children under the age of 18 live with one parent. At the same time, the misconception is very common that children who grow in incomplete families, in the future are not so successful as children living in families with two parents. In such a family, only one adult protrudes as a parent, the default task is more complex. Nevertheless, there are several tips that will help bring up a child alone and do not get away with the mind.
1. Do not neglect care about yourself
It is necessary to immediately understand for yourself that you need to adequately take care of your own needs. Only when a person feels well rested and healthy, he can fully take care of his children.Many parents tend to set the needs of their children in the first place, and their own on the last, but this will lead to the fact that they will be simply constantly tired. Be sure to allocate time to regularly and useful, relax and engage at least home charging.
2. Combine efforts with other single parents
Surely everyone who experienced a similar thing seemed that he was the only person who knows what it means to be a lonely parent. However, statistics says that there are many other people who know exactly what it is.
You can find single parents online, at the school of your child, on extracurricular events or even through a special application. There are also numerous online communities that can offer support and advice through Facebook or sites such as Single Mom Nation.
3. Create a community
In addition to finding support from other single parents, you can also create a community consisting of similar families. As they say, together and grief is easier tolerated. And the general topic combines people as it is impossible.4. Take help
No need to try to be a superhero and do everything yourself. Surely, a very night there will be people (relatives, friends, etc.), which sincerely want to take care of the loneliness and his children, and also want to help him. It is worth reporting to them what exactly should the help should be expressed, whether it is periodic assistance with products or to get a child to school.
There is nothing shameful in asking for help and take help from loved ones. At the same time, the requested will not be perceived as weak or incompetent, but rather it will be considered a good parent.
5. Be creative child care
Education of the child in one parent is a challenging task due to the high cost of hiring nanny, etc. In fact, there are more accessible options, if you apply at least some creativity.
If at home there is an "extra" room, you can hand over her student in exchange for regular care for the child. Or you can try to negotiate with other single parents to look at children in turn. There is another weighty plus in this - the children will be able to play with each other, and the care for them will become easier.
6. Plan in advance emergency situations
If you raise a child alone, there should always be a backup plan or two in case "something goes wrong." You need to make a list of familiar people who can be called at any time. In any case, you will ever need help, and it is important to know in advance to whom you can rely.It is also worth learn in advance where you can order an emergency nanny or kindergarten services. Knowing someone who can take care of a child in case of an emergency, can reduce concern in stressful situations.
7. Mode of the day
The schedule is very important for young children, because the knowledge of what can be expected gives them the visibility of control. It is even more important when there is only one parent in the house.
It is worth installing a mode and a chart for a child as much as possible - sleep time (before and after school), home affairs, food reception time and even the routine of the day on the weekend.
8. Be consistent
If a child has several guardians, for example, another parent, grandparents, grandfather or nanny, you need to clearly explain to them your approach to discipline so that the child is brought up in one bed.When a child understands that certain rules "work" with different people, he simply will use them in its interests, which will cause additional problems with restrictions, behavior and discipline in the future.
9. Being positive
Children will be able to discover even the most minor changes in the behavior and mood of their parents. Therefore, it is necessary to focus on the positive moments of life, such as friends and family. This will create a much more stable home setting.
Also be sure to keep a sense of humor and not be afraid to look stupid.
10. Let go of the past and do not feel the feeling of guilt
In a family with one parent, no matter how hard it tried, it is simply impossible to act as both parents. It is necessary to simply not "bother" on the fact that you can not do alone, and instead, think about what is able to give to your children.It is also necessary to just forget about the thought that life would be easier or better with two parents. It is just not true. There are many advantages and minuses for the family in both situations, so regret is what the least needs.
11. Honestly answer questions
Children may have questions about why their home furnishings differ from many of their friends. When they ask why it is so, you do not need to teach the situation or lie / unfurry.
Depending on age, it is necessary to explain to them the truth about what happened and how the current circumstances have developed. Naturally, it is not worth telling more details than necessary, and it is not necessary to speak badly about another parent. But at the same time, it is worth trying to be truthful and honest.
12. Refer to children as children
In the absence of a partner, many perceive their children as an interlocutor to communicate or sympathy. In no case cannot do this - the children simply are not intended for this role.In the relationship of adults there are many details that children cannot understand or comprehend, and it will only cause confusion and indignation.
Also, you do not need to remove anger on your children and clearly separate your emotional needs with the role of the parent.
13. Find role models
It is about to find any positive examples to imitate the opposite sex people. It is extremely important that the child does not have negative associations with a lack of a missing parent.
To do this, you can find close friends or family members who want to spend time with children. It is necessary to encourage children to form significant relationships with people who you trust and which they can even give as an example.
14. be affectionate and praise
Children need affection and praise every day. It is worth communicating with children as often as possible, playing with them, going to walk and encouraging an open dialogue.Be sure to emphasize what the child does well, no matter how small they are. You need to praise their efforts, not achievements. It will inspire children to do not need to surrender even with the hardest work, if you do not see success yet.
Instead of spending money for gifts, it is better to spend time and strength to create long-term memories.
Conclusion
Being a lonely parent is a difficult duty. Without the help of a partner on which you can count on, the single parents will have much more worries.
Nevertheless, research shows that when a child grows in a family with one parent, it does not have a negative impact on his performance at school. While the family is a stable and safe environment, children can succeed in their studies and life.