Find your afternoon every woman dreams. Some spend on this for many years, waiting for "Prince" of their dreams: an attractive, smart, kind, and so on. But it happens that such a chosen was already married once. Moreover, children remained from the previous marriage (or several).
Building relations with a man-father is not so easy. After all, besides him, a woman will have to establish contact and with his child, and sometimes with his ex-wife.
Entering such relationships, you immediately need to honestly answer some important issues. Can you love someone else's child? Are you ready to come to terms with the fact that your chosen one will hold a part of the weekend and holiday with their children without you? What are you ready to sacrifice in this relationship? And what to come with for them? It is important to avoid both the main mistakes that women admit in such situations. All this and talk further.
First you need to realize that your chosen one will not be twenty-four hours a day belong only to you. He has certain duties of the Father, which he, as a person responsible and loving his children, must fulfill. Divorce with the mother of the child does not mean that the man is completely free. To be responsible for their children and take care of them, he is still obliged. And if your chosen one comes in this way, it characterizes it exclusively from a positive point of view. The question is whether you are ready to take such a state of affairs?
If the answer is negative, then it makes no sense to continue the relationship. Either you will be constantly nervous when your man will spend time not with you. Or try to spoil his relationship with children to stop similar meetings (unfortunately, such behavior is common). The final in both cases is sad for everyone.
If you do not confuse that you have to share a man with his children, then you can expect other "pitfalls". Even bachelors do not seek to quickly introduce your choices with relatives. Those who have children from previous marriages, generally delay a similar point of dating for an indefinite time. There may be a lot of reasons for this.
The most common - fear to upset their children. Despite the divorce of parents, most children believe that their dad and mom will still be together. You just need to wait. And if a new woman appears in the life of the father, then these dreams are not destined to come true. Extremely rarely between the new wife and children of a man from the previous marriage immediately develop friendly relationships. Usually everything happens exactly the opposite. And to avoid a similar situation, a man before the last postponing the moment of dating. Because he understands - there will be many problems behind this.
Another reason for unwillingness to acquaint a woman with their children is that the man is not sure of the seriousness and duration of the developing relationship. Once he already died. And now wants to be sure one hundred percent, which was not mistaken. And until this point sees the meaning to acquaint a woman with children - suddenly nothing will happen? And how much he will make sure the correctness of his choice is unknown.
Live in anticipation when your chosen one and his children "mature" to meet you, is capable of not every woman. The fact that you are hiding from relatives, not everyone likes. Do you have enough patience to wait for a cherished dating with your male children?
The material component is important in any relationship - even if someone says that it is not. When entering into relations with a man with children, you need to understand that part of its income will go to their content. And this means that restaurants and cafes, expensive gifts and flowers, as well as tourist trips will, if necessary, sacrificing the spent for children's needs. Yes, and a monthly common budget, with joint living, will include an article by the expenditure on a former family. It is possible that something will have to limit themselves - it is far from making many women. And if a new family will appear in the new family, which will also require financial costs, the material aspect will acquire special sharpness.
The question of whether there will be a place for a common baby in your relationship, you need to pay close attention. If you are, and your chosen one has realized all the seriousness of the relationship and even ready to consolidate them legally, it is advisable to learn before, and whether a man wants more children. Very often the answer to this question is negative. The man, realizing in the previous marriage, that the child is not a toy, may not want to acquire additional heirs. And if his new chosen is dreaming about a big family with children, there will be a conflict of interest. Therefore, such a delicate question about future children is desirable to discharge whenever possible.
If all previous moments do not cause any problems, then the most important thing is to be able to establish contact with children and, perhaps with a former wife. If children are very small, then make friends with them easier than with adolescents. But their mother is usually attached to young children. But I don't always manage to establish contact with the ex-wife. If both women are configured not biased to each other - it's good. Otherwise, the optimal version of communication is polite, but the official tone. And do not complain to a man to achieve mutual understanding with his ex-wife. Men do not like to interfere in women's conflicts. Help you, he will not be able to help you. But it will notice for yourself that you could not find the right approach to the situation.
Find from the first days of dating Common language with children of your man is extremely difficult. This will require a lot of time and patience, the ability to bypass conflict situations and compromise, as well as many other qualities of a wise woman who can keep family comfort and calm in the house. Errors and difficulties on this path can not be avoided. But if everything is withstanding everything, the reward will be a strong and friendly big family. And, of course, a loved man is near.
All of the above applies to the cases when children do not live with her mother, but with his father. The only difference is that you do not have to communicate with the former wife of your man. But, deciding to live together, you will immediately have to try on the role of stepmother and start taking care around the clock not only about your chosen one, but also about his children.
There is an opinion that it is easier to build relations with an adult man who once held in marriage than with those who have never been married. It is believed that a person once having tasted all the delights and flaws of family life will know how to avoid mistakes in the future. And an adult man with a prevailing character, who does not have such experience, will be more difficult to build a serious relationship. And here failure not to avoid. But not everything is so unequivocal. Negative marriage scenario, formed once, can repeat a person from time to time. Yes, and find mutual understanding with people from the "Last Life" of a man is difficult. Definitely you can say only one thing. Deciding on a relationship with a man with children, you need to be ready to attach much more effort to save them than tie to acquaintance with bachelor.