About the relationship between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law are composed of songs, they are shooting comedy and write anecdotes, that's just the daughter-doves themselves do not become easier. An eternal problem with the "unbearable mother-in-law" continues to exist. Is it possible to somehow resolve this eternal conflict? Sure! The main thing is to choose the right tactics and adhere to several rules.
Two main rules for all daughter-in-law
Rule number 1The first thing to understand the daughter-in-law is that the mother-in-law declares the war not to her, but for the place that she takes it in the heart of her hot beloved son. More recently, it was the mother who was the main woman in the life of her son, and now a stupid clung to a pedestal - a wife. Therefore, you should not try to replace your favorite mother, it is enough to stay just his loving wife.
Rule number 2.
It is still worth remembering that regular complaints with her husband on his mother, on what she says, does any negative statements in her direction - all this destroys your relationship with your loved one. Yes, he is already an adult and an independent boy, but mom for him will always remain the closest and native person who is not allowed to insult her to anyone.
The same rule works in the opposite direction - strengthening and making relationships with mother-in-law, everything will work out with her beloved. Perhaps he does not speak about it, but he is also unpleasant to look at your scandals.
Golden mother-in-law
Do you think these exist only in the parallel universe? And here is not! Such a development scenario is possible under certain conditions, for example, if: • You live under different roofs. That's right when a new family moves to another living space, that's just not always such an opportunity. Otherwise, constant friction is practically secured. Two mistresses in the kitchen are too. Taste preferences, habits, methods of cooking dishes, a cleaning approach and much more - all this will be varied, and the mother-in-law is also trying to teach the "nearest book" as "right", which naturally does not suit the last. But alas, there should be turtled here, or try to build diplomacy with a wide friendly smile.
• In addition to your husband in the family there are other children. Yes, yes, if there is someone else, then you are very lucky. Then you will not "select" the only son, and the mother-in-law will be someone who can throw all love and care.
• Mother-in-law business and very busy person. Ideally, if she has its own business or is a very favorite case, which she is constantly loaded. In this case, she just won't have enough time to climb into your family and make morals.
But everything is completely different if: • You live with my mother-in-law. • Your husband is one child in the family. • Your favorite youngest or very long-awaited child. • Loving mom climbed and raised him alone, while working on 5 works. • Pensioner mother-in-law and absolutely free person, without any hobbies.
The more items belong to your case, the harder will be to establish relationships, but there are no hopeless situations!
How to get along with mother-in-law
Politeness is a strong weapon. Do not be carried out on provocations, which may be taken from the mother-in-law.
Do not respond to rudeness to rudeness, try to always be tactful and polite. If the penetration attacks will be regular and unreasonable, most likely, this will notice your husband, it is unlikely that he will be silent and speak himself with his mother.
Try to find something in common between you.
Due to the difference in the age, it will be not easy, but it will not be superfluous. Maybe she is interested in sports, or loves to go shopping? Or maybe she really likes to cook?
Try to divide some of her interest, ask her questions on the themes where she is a specialist. Invite it to the cinema or theater with the participation of her beloved actor, visit the beauty salon or spa together. After all, despite the fact that she is your mother-in-law - first of all she is a woman with appropriate interests and desires.
Never complain your beloved on his mom
Men generally tolerate women's slides, and when two favorite women are involved in this, there is nothing to say. When on one side of the wife, but for another mother, it is difficult for him to accept someone's side, because both options are knowingly losing. And even if he himself sometimes allows himself with unflattering expressions towards the mother, this does not mean that such permissible and you.
Moreover, it is impossible to put your beloved before choosing "or I, or she" - wives can be a lot, and the mother is one - his choice is obvious. And in order to smooth off the relationship with mother-in-law and not to launch an explosive mechanism - even if you live apart - sometimes calling his mother and just talk, find out about her affairs, about her health, she will be very nice.
Let me understand the mother-in-law that she needs you
The mother-in-law is very hard for the fact that the beloved boy, whom she raised with such love and care for a long time, suddenly leaves her. Up to this point, she lived for him and felt her need. And now she considers itself abandoned and unnecessary, because problems begin.
You can smooth out the consequences of breaking you yourself - your concern about it. There are all the same calls and communication, ask sometimes to help you with something, let her understand that she is still the right person. The fact that for you may seem trigger, it will be nice for her. Do not try to unite with someone against the mother-in-law
No matter how much I wanted to do this, it is impossible to do this. Such things do not differ in stability and at one point the situation can turn against you. Sometimes, of course, you can discuss with a dream, for example, Ruskazni mother-in-law, but do not go too far. Restore the reputation after such exposure and establish the relationship is almost impossible.
Do not skimp on compliments and sophistication for mother-in-law
What woman do not like compliments? And when nice words come from the daughter-in-law - it is pleasantly triple. Of course, you do not need to praise for everything and too often, otherwise it will look like flattery, and no one likes it. The peak of the skill of the daughter-in-law - sometimes recognize their imperfection and the superiority of the mother-in-law in something. Yes, it may be unpleasant and hard - the effect of this amazing.
Do not manipulate children
A lot of women are trying to use heavy artillery and begin to manipulate children - put her taboo on communicating with her grandmother, set them against her, etc. Remember your relationship with mother-in-law is one thing, you are with her other people. For children, she is a native man, she is their grandmother and they are not to blame for the fact that adults cannot blame. These main advice will help close to the mother-in-law and understand the motives of its behavior.
As a rule, the most serious difficulties arise at the start of family life. Over time, when people get used to each other, they are bothering with the characteristics of everyone, relationships begin to improve themselves. And remember, making the decision to marry a loved one, you automatically accept all his relatives.