In the life of each pair, the moment comes when you have to go to Ikea. And, thank God, Ikea exists: here you can buy all materials for organizing a love nest - from a cheap bed, to a cheap corkscrew. But this is the problem. Loving each other people enter the store, holding hands, and leave the red, evil, in tears and travel around. Each to his mother. But this is still Polbie. Because all the things they bought, and still have to gather! In general, Ikea is an ideal compatibility test, no matter how cool.
The first rule of Ikea: never ride in Ikea
By itself, the idea of a trip to Ikea is already stress. At least three hours will be thrown into the wind. At this time, you can drink beer with friends, ride a bike, see, finally, TV. And instead, you will have to drag somewhere on the outskirts of the city, pushed in traffic, look for parking and slowly blocked in the textile department. Only this perspective can lead to a rupture.
Do not take friends with you and take their instructions
Or friends will want to "sit on the tail", or ask you to buy a small shelf. Do not do this! Everyone should drink this bowl to the bottom absolutely independently. Not only that your buddies can drown in an infinite choice of this terrible store, among other things, they can see how you quarrel and hate each other.
Ikea is a giant endless labyrinth
Moreover, the intricacies of moves, exits and corridors were very intelligent marketers, who were specifically calculated so that in each room you wanted something. As a result, the visit is delayed, the cart is filled, patience is depleted. "What a trait did you start us in the kitchen department? We already have two forks, why do you still need? ". She needs candles. Heating. Why does she need heating candles no one knows. Neither marketers who created a labyrinth nor God who created the world.
Hell Textile Department
Probably in the world there are boys who love the textile department of Ikea. Curtains, tulle, sheets, striped bedspreads, that's all this. But ordinary boys in this place begin to look at the pads with one single thought. "Will it be convenient for such a pad to strangle it right here?".
Hell Messellek
As a rule, before the trip you agreed: I will go, let's buy two forks, and immediately we leave. And then suddenly once - the costly half sees the "Buffet" pointer, and immediately drags you in line for meatballs. And it is impossible to refuse, because you have to eat stress - it is, first, holy, and, secondly, the day is still a cat under the tail. With each next meatball with a brusal jam, the disgust only increases.Tired goods
In boxes with cheap curtains for 500 rubles, expensive curtains may lie for 7,500 rubles. As a rule, the difference in price is found only at the checkout, and at the moment when Half has already been crossed with these idiotic curtains. And nothing can be done with it, it can only be taken. If you do not fought because of the curtain at the checkout, you do not know life.
Laziness and procrastination
Someone (let's not show your finger) runs out of the textile department and goes to "test sofas". So what you won't buy a sofa? This is not a reason to test them? And then there is already a beautiful half in the rage, because "Damn it, how can I plan a life with a person who does not share your passion for the curtains!?"
Huge shopping mountain instead of four items
You negotiated to buy a bed, a shelf, a sheet and corkscrew. Four items with a total price of 7000 rubles (suppose). What the hell do you have a complete giant cart at the exit? Why does the check having one and a half meters long, and in the bottom number it is terribly watching? How did it work out? Who is to blame? You are to blame! NO YOU!
AD QUESTION IN THE CASSU
Long queue in the cashier. And everyone in a huge cart. And it is almost not moving. And stuffy. And hot. And hatred grows. And at the last moment someone (let's not show with your finger) remembers that you need another towel packaging. AAAAAAAAA !!!Hell loading
And now all this must be immersed in the car. Little cute neat machine, in which all this junk will not fit exactly. Well, or get it if she finally moves his finger to help you.
Hell assembly
Suddenly it turns out that the bag with the cogs is missing. And he needs to go back to Ikea. Or improvise, but then there is a chance that the bed is falling apart at the most responsible moment. The degree of despair, hatred and disgust at this moment is especially high, and even the thought that you are collecting the most important thing in your relationship - the bed does not save.
Meaningless instruction
In principle, there are people most often the boys who have such a beaver construction instinct, in which the instructions are not very needed: they look at the details, they say Yeah - and the bed is ready for almost the effort of thought. But in fact, there are no instructions in the IKEY instructions. There are only pictures and cryptograms that every person understands in his own way. And if, for example, try to collect a bed together, then on the soil of decryption of these hieroglyphs there may be conflicts. And if we consider that there are metal bars and wooden bars around the conflicting parties at this time, should be especially careful.
Success! Everything worked out!
The credit card is reset, the bed is collected, corkscrew in the box, the curtains are hanged. Your life will never be the same, but you did it and even recalled. At least until the next hike in Ikea. It remains only to learn the main lesson of this terrible drama: if possible, avoid sharing shopping - and then you will live happily ever after.