Raising children is a difficult task even for full families. And mom, which glowing the child is alone, and do not envy at all. She wants to raise a real man from the boy. But how to make the Son feel loved, but grew by independent, responsible, purposeful? How to keep a balance between love and rigor? Let's talk about the difficulties of mothers who bring up sons without any help.
The main problems that will have to face
Lack of time
Of course, to raise a child (feed, riding, treat, dress, learning and so on) Lonely mothers have to work a lot. Often, children do not have enough mother's attention, care, and even presence.
The Council is one - find time for a son, no matter how tired.
Do not pass on the child because of the bad chief or complex workflow. Take time not only for classes, but also by talking, walking in the park, discussing cartoons or cinema. Enjoy each other's society - the child is growing rapidly and is unlikely to remember how much money you earned. But the time spent together will be invaluable for him.
No male example
The male example in the education of boys plays an important role. If the father cannot be such an example, look for a worthy candidate for this role among relatives and friends. It may be your father, a close friend and even a colleague. If among the real people you do not see the one who could take an example, let it be a character from a book or film.
Do not forget about sports. Perhaps a boxing coach or basketball will be a worthy male example for your son. Do not miss the case to emphasize the knightly act of a random passerby if it is worthy of respect. Accent attention at the points when unfamiliar men give way to children and women, help the elderly to convey heavy bags, let women pass forward or serve them. To form a man's character from a boy, Mom will have a lot to work.
Fears and complexes
Proper education of the child requires knowledge of the foundations of psychology and pedagogy, everyday experience, patience, wisdom, time. After the divorce, left alone with problems and concerns, easy to fall into the despondency. Should not be doing that. Do not let fear and experiences to settle in your soul. Do you think that you have deprived your father's child and are to blame for an unsuccessful family life?
But it is better that the child does not have any father than he will see an unworthy example of male behavior.
Are you afraid to grow a infantile, unhappiness? Read the books, develop, follow the advice of psychologists. Be an adequate mom and communicate with your son, as with a friend.
The main thing is to strive for the better, try not to cross the face between the full concentration on the child and the absolute ignoring of his interests. Do not try to replace your father, do not try to give him the whole world - be yourself, sincere, loving, caring and self-sufficient.
Moms are different
Moms are different - good and loving, caring and cursing, strict and demanding. In the process of raising a child, moms have a whole range of different emotions, fears, experiences. It is necessary to control your emotional state so that the child does not feel your mood swings, tensions or anxiety.
What mom should not be:
Overly anxious;
overweight;
gently surging;
aggressive;
own;
pessimist.
These types of mothers do not see the motherhood of joy. For them, the Son is not a separate personality with its desires and needs, but an object for self-realization, the release of emotions, solving their vital tasks. If you noticed some of these problems, you urgently get rid.
Recommendations of psychologists
Do not consider yourself to blame - do not live in the past (people diverge, the relationship is not enough for everyone, just love the child and take care of it);
Do not try to please your loved ones (if you indulge in everything, the child will grow by an egoist, do you need it?);
Do not try to be a child to everyone - be an adequate mom, this will be enough;
Remember that children learn from your example (you can say a hundred times that it is harmful, but even one cigarette cigarette you in front of a child can call him a desire to smoke);
praise for good actions (praise - a powerful tool in the raising of children, use it as often as possible);
Everything, what do you teach a child, learn calmly and patiently (you can't fulfill this rule - let someone else teaches him);
Help the boy to realize your sexuality (educate respect for girls, masculinity, courage, spirit strength);
Let the child freedom and the right of choice - so he will have a sense of responsibility for the words and actions;
Do not prohibit the Son Communication with the Father, if it does not have a bad influence on the child (asocial personalities are better not to let the Son);
Tuping, support, help the child - he must feel your love and care in any situation, because the feeling of security allows children to remain children;
Do not spare yourself and son just because you do not have a man near (this is not a reason to be unhappy);
Do not respond from personal life - if you meet a person with whom you will be comfortable, do not refuse relationships, guided by the feeling of guilt before the son (perhaps this person will make it happy not only you, but also your child);
Let's a child pocket money (so that the son in the future is financially competent, let him already have small money from the first grade, which he can dispose of at its discretion);
spend time separately (let your son and the Son there will be individual hobbies and classes and the opportunity to be apart);
Observe the borders and slowly go to the side (the older the child becomes, the more his own hobbies, friends, classes, desires should appear.
Single mothers, of course, is waiting for a lot of difficulties. After all, it is not easy to educate children even in full families, with grandparents, uncle and aunts. But this is the most noble lesson in the world! Moms are not lonely - there are always those who need their attention, care and affection next to them. The main thing is to teach children not only to take love, but also to be able to give it. And you will definitely work out.
