Every parent, undoubtedly loves his child and wants only the best for him. Adults raise their children as they can and from the position of their understanding of life, without thinking about how correct it is. In this article, we will tell about 10 major mistakes that each second mother (and dad also).
Failure to love
Children, though small, but already identity, who have their own opinion they are defending. Each parent came across how the favorite and once the duplicate Choo suddenly began to argue and not do what adults say he. And then many parents find themselves in a dead end and do not find anything better than saying: "If you do not like this, then your mother will not love you."
Such statements have very great strength, but, of course, parents do not fulfill their "promises", and children are well aimed and then do not be under similar. Moreover, thus parents lose their children's confidence. Where better, focus on the fact that you love your baby strongly, but at the same time do not approve of his bad behavior.
Indifference
There is another category of parents who are easier to ignore the behavior of their child than strain something to explain or make a remark. Think that when the child grows everything by itself will work out - a big mistake. Moreover, the less pay attention to his pranks, the more they will become, and the consequences of his tricks will be more serious.
You can never give the baby to understand that you do not care what it is busy. Noticing that you are indifferent to his behavior and affairs, he will start checking this "indifference" for strength. After each action taken, it will wait, the criticism will follow or not. And the farther, the more.
Even if you are absolutely not satisfied, as a child behaves, it is worth attempts to build a trust relationship with him. For such purposes, you can use phrases: "I love you very much, but still in this matter I disagree with you (-A). Let's deal with this together. "
Excess rigor
Many parents seriously believe that children are simply obliged to obey them 100% and to obey the same. That's just a similar method, firstly, more like training, and, secondly, it will not lead to anything good, and that's why. If you succeed in subordinate to the child completely your power, thinking that it will be better for him - yes, he will obey you, but only while you are next to him. In other cases, wanting to show their identity, he will "spit" to all the rules and self-affirmation, doing everything for evil.
No one doubts her parents wish only good children, but the child should understand why he does something. Those. It is not necessary to talk to him in an ordinary tone, but explaining the motivation of the actions to which you pushing it. So raising a positive success. In particularly emergency cases, you can say: "Do what I said, and in the evening we will discuss it."
Children should pamper and do everything for them
This is more "suffering" loving mothers who try to fly their child from everything. Indeed, it is sometimes easier to do something for a child itself, it will be better and faster than let it make it all myself, because "he is still so small and it is not forces." And also, the "child must be all the best, because we didn't have it." And so nice to look at the happy eyes of a child who receives toys and sweets that dream of.
Having glad his child, parents dig a huge pit. In adult age, such children are very difficult, because they are getting used to the fact that every of their desire was performed simply because they wanted it, they are waiting for and when they grow up. That's just in adulthood all the benefits have to get difficulty, which they are not used to.
Moreover, children also need victories after overcoming difficulties - it enhances their faith in themselves, strengthens self-esteem and allows you to rejoice at your success. Those who all make parents and grandparents with grandparents, and therefore they rarely feel real happiness - but the feeling of worthlessness and helplessness is cultivated in them.
Believe in your child and let him do what he is already able to. Start with the finest things - stop removing the toys, bed, etc. behind it. Let him begins to do it himself. And as they grow up, expand the range of its skills.
Imposed roles
Children are ready for much only in order to be loved by their own parents. They are ready to even plunge into the adult world and live the problems of the elders - to participate in the decision of the family affairs, forgetting about their own world. Yes, the child is a small adult, he can listen carefully, he wants to become more faster. But still children need to be fencing against the problems of the adult world, and give them to be in carelessness.
The child is a loved one, but not the best friend who can be sworn in a vest or ask the Council.
Financial side
It is mistaken to believe that the more money, the better the upbringing. Families with modest sleep are often complex due to the fact that the child goes in old things or tears them with older children. And here it is worth remembering the old expression, which are relevant and now - love does not buy for money, and after all, children need so much.
Believe me, the child rejoices much more when the time spent with him, they are playing, interested in his world and when they give him unconditional love and care, rather than when they are trying to pay off expensive toys and gadgets. Often, "financial" manifestation of love creates a child who has a sense of unnecessaryness and devastation.
And make sure that the truthfulness of this is very easy - just put yourself in place of the child and think that it would be more valuable for you - infinite love, care and understanding of loved ones or regular gifts without all this? So stop complexing and just give your baby to understand that it is the best for you and always so.
Grand plans
To implement in the child what they dreamed about themselves - another mistake.
Children are not obliged to become ballerinas, musicians, accountants only because their parents dreamed about it. While the child is still small, he will obey his parents and walk there, where they will tell him, just came to him, he will definitely protest. And it can be anything, parties at night with dubious friends, departure from the house and much more. When a child is busy with something useful besides studies - it's great, that's just he should do it with enthusiasm, while implementing his personal creative start, and not the parent.
Lack of caress
For adults hugs and kisses are no longer important and so mandatory, only for children tenderness and love of parents are almost a paramount psychological need. But at the same time it is not worth it to overdo it, he sucks with the child is hourly. Basically, the desire to stick should come from the child, and the parent supports it, and does not repel with the motivation that "not before that".
Parental Dependency
Education of a child is a creative process, but still there are rules that you should always stick. This also applies to parental mood, which should not affect children.
Whatever terrible day - in no case cannot be produced by couples on a small family member, which is not guilty of anything.
Moreover, if Kroch sees that his behavior and actions raise the mood to parents, it will motivate it. Therefore, it is necessary to tell a child about how well he is and how he pleases his mother and dad. If the mood is not good anywhere, then it is better to talk to the child and say how tired and how you want to just relax.
Lack of time for a child
Work, work and once again work - she takes all the time of the parents, and it does not remain on children. And then the answer is one - gave birth, now somehow twist, but time is given. It does not necessarily spend a day with a child on the span, if the workload is very strong, allocate at least an hour in the evenings to discuss with the baby to achieve it, see together cartoons, play or read a fairy tale before bedtime.
It is very important! The proven fact is children who do not pay due attention, much more often sick, due to the psychological components - in this way they attract attention and the time of adults who are so lacking.
