Each sometimes need support. To come someone big and strong, wiped snot with tears, hugged, comforted and said that everything would be fine and won all for us. Pics.ru figured out how to harm in his frantic desire to apply good and cause joy of anything to no obese people.
The main desire!
First, remember to help or support it is necessary to truly want. "Mom said", "do everything so," "But I will help him, and then he" - the reasons, honestly, are not so important as your desire. Therefore, throw your constraint and understand one simple thing: Your close man got into trouble, and he really needs support. Help.Be ready for everything
Going to the store, remove the apartment, take a walk with a dog, cook food, pay bills, sit near and hold the hand to everything. Sometimes people with really severe diseases (for example, oncological) are unpredictable mood and tastes, so do not be surprised if you suddenly be asked to bring pineapples with herring. And do not be afraid. Your friend is now much worse, so you have to be strong for two.
talk to him
Words help no less than business, but they should be correct. Do not give vague tips like "hold on!" (For what? for panties?), "Get straight!" (Yeah, but without your advice, I sit here and I have called pain everyone) or talk about my own rich experience or - even worse - about the experience of distant relatives, who had exactly all the same, but they all drank decoction from the cabbage sheet and Cured on the second day. Be careful with the wording type "I know what you now!" (Yes, you! We are straight with you Siamese twins!) And with conversations about the bright future - a friend is bad here and now, not the day after tomorrow.Whether in the wording
Instead of "what to help you?" Offer specific actions or ask them. We are, of course, all along the burning horses with the horses and glow, filling with steel eggs, but sometimes you can't take help, because it's uncomfortable, awkward, well, so something like that. But concrete manipulations - please! Sit with the children, come to rush the beds, take to the doctor, chat on the phone - and so on.
Healthy feed your strength
Offer just what you can do. There is nothing worse than promising and not to do what they are waiting for what they expect. Of course, if you walked for a friend's cakes, but here you were attacked by brutal aliens, took money, clothes and a motorcycle and taken into a beautiful far away in the area of the star Bethelgeuse (this is next to Orion, if that), then with you and bribe glada, But if you laughed stupidly, then there is no excuse and mercy!Be patient
If you are seriously configured to support a person, it should be a little robot. Frequent people often become capricious, demanding, sullen, irritable and completely unbearable. So pour patience (and good red) and watch your own state. An insurmountable desire to kill people with a stool? It's time to relax.
Take care of youself
Of course, you can not sit by the bed of a friend, keeping his hand and departing only to pee, but who needs it? Is it just your own pride to internally put a tick opposite the "good friend" item. The patient and so awesome, and see a lively blocked corpse next to him with her eyes - the pleasure of dubious. And please, do not feel the feelings of guilt for the fact that you can go to the movies, to a concert or where, and a friend is forced to lie and root. Here, as they say, each his own.Do not be annoying
Anyone sometimes need to be alone. Yes, he is sick, and he has a temperature, yes, he is very weak. But this is not a reason to regit his eyes in the afternoon and at night, tenderly smiling and stretching the orange - so fuck for a couple long.
Dish your interests
Often it happens that you suggested help to endure the garbage - and suddenly you find yourself the third week fake by friendly household. Or decided to buy medicines - and now every two days I get full five bags with products from the nearest supermarket. And one already kind of healthy, cheerful, cheerful, Rumba and signs of illness for a couple of months does not show. This is a clear sign, expensive, that it is time to turn the Mother of Teresa's Mother's mode and collapse a field item: On, he himself will figure it out, and you, by the way, the dog is not goured for a week, the children have forgotten how you look, and my husband has lost hope and mastering the washing programs .